Fake stupid newbie's questions

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Originally posted by omichyron
"How do you make these guys cross water?"
"Why doesn't the goto command let my guys go across the ocean?"
"Wow, I have iron working. My militias must be really good now, right?"
"How do you open the city window?"

These were all said by me, probably about 7 years ago, when I first played the original civ. Admittedly, I didn't ask them on the forum. I asked my friend, who was just as clueless as I was. As a result, I played the game for about a year without being able to open the city screen unless something was built there that gave the option to change production, or the city went into civil disorder, or something. It made the game seem really weird. At least I figured out how to build units other than militias and how to cross water, though....

I first played CIV on a version that didn't allow the mouse to work (never entirely sure what went wrong there) so I had great fun churning out milita endlessly:) The worst bit was that even when I learnt the key commands, I could not create entertainers, which made happiness control difficult.

Newbie question:

Why are all my cities covered in black squares?
 
Where do I get the money to buy Civ?

Where do I insert the CD; my Hi-Fi system doesn't seem to have a monitor?

I'm playing as the French why do I have Egyptian settler, Roman Legions and Greek triremes? Are they freelancer? Do I have to pay them a charge?

Is it possible to marry that cute Jean?

AND

Why do I find nothing about American history in 3000 B.C. in my books?
 
If the world is 3,4,or 5 Billion years old, why do i start at 3000 BC all the time? Souldn't it be 2,003,000 or 1,003,000 and 3000 BC? I demand an apology from this Sid guy, and a refund. I put a younger world so i could play longer.

Isn't it a little Pretentious to put your name on all the games you make? That Sid is a jack ass and an attention hog.
 
Originally posted by Supernaut
I first played CIV on a version that didn't allow the mouse to work (never entirely sure what went wrong there) so I had great fun churning out milita endlessly The worst bit was that even when I learnt the key commands, I could not create entertainers, which made happiness control difficult.QUOTE]

That was exactly my situation, but I didn't learn the keyboard commands until I had already found a version that the mouse worked for. Instead, I had a simple strategy: The first city would build settlers until improvements were available. The next few cities would build phalanxes. They would eventually have civil disorder or do something similar to let me change the production. Basically, I would build a city for each type of military unit I wanted, and either the city would let me change it at some point by having a disaster or civil disorder, or something, or it would run out of production and I could ignore it. Since I wanted to be able to switch a lot of cities if I started a major war, the majority of them were busy cranking out diplomats, settlers, and improvements constantly. Pathetic AI and fairly low difficulty level let me expand like the plague. Basically, the inner cities would all end up uselessly outdated every time I had to start war production, so I had to keep expanding. It made the game really weird, as I said already. :cry:

Newbie question: "I built the SS structual wonder. Why isn't it letting me launch my spaceship?" - (me when I first played Civ 2 :crazyeye: )
 
my question how do u initiate diplomacy in civ2? could someone please give an anser.
 
Originally posted by :)civ2
my question how do u initiate diplomacy in civ2? could someone please give an anser.


LOL! I can't remember my days of playing civ3, and i didn't know how to contact other civs, so i would just send a troop into there teriotory to talk to them, or if i was allied, i would 'rub' my units against their cities :)
 
Originally posted by scorch
LOL! I can't remember my days of playing civ3, and i didn't know how to contact other civs, so i would just send a troop into there teriotory to talk to them, or if i was allied, i would 'rub' my units against their cities :)

Yep thats the same thing I used to do. It always made them happy to see me :)
 
Originally posted by :)civ2
my question how do u initiate diplomacy in civ2? could someone please give an anser.

This sounds like a proper question, rather alarmingly for a fake stupid questions thread, but I'll ignore the protests and answer it anyway. Go to see your foreign advisor (one of the F keys, maybe F6 but I can't remember which one since I play PSX Civ 2 these days) and he'll show you a list of the civs you have contact with. If you have an embassy with that civ (comes free with Marco Polo & the UN) then you have two options: Investigate and Send an Envoy. Sending an envoy allows you to talk to the civ and then to extort as much cash as possible or swap techs, etc dependign on what mood you're in.

Right, sensible bit over with, let's have some real (fake) stupid questions. :)
"Do I need to build a harbour before I can catch those fish in the sea?" and "How long will the buffaloes be there for?" which isn't that dumb any more because some of the Civ 3 resources run out eventually.
"Why doesn't my mountain citadel get any bigger?"
"Who's the red civ? - they're everywhere!"
"I've just met a civ on the other side of the world and although they aren't very big, they've threatened to crush me unless I give them alphabet! How can I stop them?"
 
How come my veteran units are so slow?

(I actually asked this in Civ II once. :D)

If this question was asked, I'd have reason to believe the poster is the Civ2 AI :D

"How come my destroyers keep dying when I attack that city with the fortified mech infantry on the mountain?"

;)
 
Whats the little color bar over my guys head?
Why can i have gunpowder before pikemen?(civ2 ques.)
Dose the red civ have a capotol?
I took all the red civ's cities but its units are still there?
why dose the red civ only have horsemen when i've got tanks?
 
Why is my city on fire?!?! There's all this black smoke coming out of it! How do I put the fire out?
 
How did my city get enough money to buy all of those fireworks shooting out of my city? Is this costing money to do? If so, how can I stop this?
 
Good one, Gunning.

How about: Why can't I build a colony on that lump of gold?

Which would be fun, BTW.
 
ooooooooo fireworks hey how do you make them do that?O those aren't fireworks someone just bombed me! :mad:
 
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