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From The Heart

Discussion in 'Civ3 - General Discussions' started by Sashie VII, Oct 12, 2008.

  1. Sashie VII

    Sashie VII Balance of Power

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    2,370
    Location:
    Where people build cat statues
    Tokugawa: Look, it's not my fault that I have iron and you don't. Blame the Map Generator.

    Brennus: Not so tough without your Gallics, huh? ;)
     
  2. TheOverseer714

    TheOverseer714 Overseer

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,077
    Location:
    Ohio
    Ghandi: Hey baldy! Get your stinking elephant off my front lawn! And get a shovel to clean up the gift jumbo left!

    Abe Lincoln: (points first 2 fingers at your eyes, then at him) [ominous voice] "I'm watching you...."
     
  3. The Professor

    The Professor Emperor

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2007
    Messages:
    260
    Location:
    at my desk
    Montezuma: Thanks for always building the Pyramids for me. I look forward to taking them from you whenever we start on the same continent.
     
  4. Spoonwood

    Spoonwood Grand Philosopher

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    4,856
    Location:
    Ohio
    Shaka: Thank you for not building libraries. Your people will flock to mine when they learn of my secrets. You will pay for their travels, and you will like it.
    Temujin: Maybe if you built an aqueduct occassionally you might get a bath. But since you don't, you will never learn more secrets of the universe than me.
    Abu-Bakr: You say your people invented algebra? Big deal, my people invented mathematics long before yours did.
    Tokugawa: Thank you for access to the knowledge of how to build temples. I never knew they could work out so well!
    Gilgamesh: Thank you for the free tech you learned in the next era... now stop researching so darn fast and do something else!
    Alexander: Oh... you thought that Bronze Statue a good idea to start to construct, huh? Strange indeed that I convinced all your people to come work for me and help build my Colossus now, isn't it?
    Cleo: You sure you're not a Goa'uld?
    Caesar: Stop looking at me like that... it creeps me out... seriously.
    Theodora: You're making me dinner Friday night, right?
     
  5. CarthageFTW

    CarthageFTW Chieftain

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    99
    Location:
    Columbus OHIO
    Hannibal: I will always tip my hat to your prowness and amazing skill to ALWAYS last until the modern age. You're friendly and pleasent to sign MP's with and wipe out those Romans. However...you will be assimilated in the most pleasent way possible. Nuclear war perhaps?
    Cesear: I hate you. I hate you and your entire culture. In fact if it was my choice, you'd be dead, Hannibal would be emperor, and
    Spoiler :
    Jesus would be kicking your ass all over hell
    I hate that your UU is like having a hoplite and swordman backstab you. And you always end up at war with me as I'm finishing the workshop. I shall impale you through the rectum and present you as a present to Vlad Dracula (talking about the Romanian, not the vampire)
    Mao: It's funny how I always kick butt as you but against you, you're a big fat wussy. Go hit your groin with a hammer to make those balls drop and then get the bosley treatment for that hair defeciency thing.
    Alexander: Because it takes one to know one, your a fat queer who needs to die. (thanks capnvanbaron for the vivd desciption)
    Xerses: Immortals my ass, they shall fall and be destroyed... buhahaha
     
  6. psweetman1590

    psweetman1590 Emperor

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    1,026
    Location:
    Connecticut, USA
    My Dearest Theodora,

    Why must you rend my poor heart so? What divine mission are you on that requires such sacrifice of human tears from foreign ducts? Are you jealous of my nation's greatness? Am I just ugly? Are you a lesbian? Who would have supposed that constant support, the tech deals, the monetary loans, the military protection, administered with the greatest love, could prompt such harsh reactions? You leave me no choice but to destroy you to stop the insanity that has surely infected your beautiful little head from forcing itself upon world politics. Nor is this most pathetic tale an isolated one; no, you must repeat the drama game after game.

    Sometimes I can't tell whether I love you or hate you.

    Regretfully yours,
    Psweet
     
  7. Dishpan_Hans

    Dishpan_Hans Chieftain

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2003
    Messages:
    59
    Location:
    Ann Arbor
    Catherine: "You've aged badly."

    Bismark: "I think you better research 'rogaine'."

    Henry: "Nice hoodie."

    Genghis: "KHAAAANNNN!!"

    Shaka: "Can you rock me, Shaka KHAAAANNN?!"
     
  8. Marsden

    Marsden Keeper of the HoF Annex Hall of Fame Staff

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2005
    Messages:
    4,024
    Location:
    Thulcandra

    Yes, but she's so cute when she is angry. :) Great letter! :thumbsup:
     
  9. Peebo

    Peebo Grand Poobah

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2003
    Messages:
    156
    Location:
    USA
    :lol::lol::lol:
     
  10. ThePrussian

    ThePrussian Warlord

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    297
    Elizabeth

    Are you English? I ask because we were allies, I was sending no less than twenty Panzer divisions and twenty Mechanized Infantry Divisions to aid in the fight against the Portugese and the Romans. The Romans, who hold four of your cities and the Protugese who have destroyed a half dozen. You are down to four cities. And you accept the Iroquis offer of a military alliance agaisnt me? Hiwatha whos is currently on the verge of complete military collapse on two front war against the Aztecs and the Chi-Comms. Whose is on another island and his navy currently sits resting on the sea floor. Did someone switch your milke bath with a bath of Bailey's Irish Cream or were you born Italian?

    Tokugawa

    You owe me big time goatee boy. Big Time. You were on the verge of complete collapse and annexation by the Portugese who had already taken six of your cities. Edo, Izuma, Kagoshima, Kyoto, Ise (which I kept for the Siegfried-Frederick-Barbarossa line) and I forgot what else. I captured them from the Portugese and gave them back to you. Currently, three Panzer Corps, twenty inedpendent Panzer divisions and three cities protected by 9 Divisions of Panzergrenadiers and another two of Grenadiers (each) supported by nearly twenty divisions of Artillery form a line proetecting you from the Portugese and the Romans, do not back stab me or else. But, you can have England with my blessing.

    Joan of Arc

    Sorry for declaring war on you out of the blue but you had the only supply of saltpeter which I needed for my musketmen. Sorry again for suing for peace as soon as I captured the supply and sorry again for declaring war on you again out of the blue. But I did let you keep Chartes, Marseilles and Orleans. Not my fault the Celts took them from you. Now, my bed room, 8PM to night. Bring a friend.

    Hammurabi Hey hammie, how are you. I hope this prison cell is to your liking. I just wanna apologize for conquering you out of the blue with twelve divisions of cavalry and ten divisions of riflemen. But I needed the coal and your Island is a forward base for my eventual invasion of Portugal. What, you hadn't discovered Steam power yet?

    William Sorry, but I needed the Oil, and the aluminium. Besides, I set my winter retreat on the Tundra outside Rotterdam and your island is a nice base to protect my mainland.

    Catherine the Great You almost had me. And by almost I mean not by a long shot. Oh, your ten panzer divisions and four Panzergrenadier divisions were impressive. But you by passed my forward cities... Oh, you were thinking of pushing through to take Paris? That is a thousand miles to the south. Know how long that would have taken you. No? Catherine the Great, yeah, great ignoramus. Oh well, how did you like my blitzkrieg of two panzer corps, artillery, luftwaffe, independent panzer divisions and deep assault by falschrimjager and marines? Impressive was it. Yeah. And we still ain't done yet, sure the Orenberg narrow is a bit tight for a major tank push but we will manage. And then we capture your oilfields near Vologda. And unlike another German, I captured Moscow. Make your peace, all your base belong to us.

    Mao What, you landed 6 panzer divisions on my shore. Oh, oops, sorry about that. We just had all those artillery tubes and panzer divisions laying around. Just wait, I'll teach you how to wage a proper amphibious landing and capture a proper beachhead. Have fun nibbling away at the Aztecs and the Iriquois, I gave the Iriquois 3000 gold as well as oil, iron and rubber for free. So no wonder you are having trouble with them.

    Brennus Wait, you send swordsmen against Panzers and Panzergrenadiers? Now I know were the English get their stupidity from. Holy crap, your swordmen killed my Division. (Gets angry) For that, I will wipe out your entire civilization raze all your cities. I'll butcher your workers and your field artillery. I'll even pillage all your infrastructure.

    Ceaser You came, you saw, you cried. Now die in a fire. For your sheer battlefield incompetence I shall conquer all your cities and give them to the British.

    Portugese Henry, instead of sending them in singletons and twosies, perhaps you should amass your force and attempt to conguer the Siegried-Barbarossa-Frederick line.

    Montezuma and Hiwatha China is bigger than you. Stop fighting each other and fighting Mao and just fight Mao. You aren't listening are you?

    Elizabeth again Now you want piece. Fine but you are lucky that you are surrounded by incompetents and that I am not in the mood to stomp your head. I should, it is a rule concerning stupidity
     
  11. Sharwood

    Sharwood Rich, doctor nephew

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    6,954
    Location:
    A little place outside Atlanta
    It's good to know I'm not the only one.
     
  12. Peebo

    Peebo Grand Poobah

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2003
    Messages:
    156
    Location:
    USA
    Gandhi: Seriously, aren't you one of the champions of nonviolent resistance? Why is it that every single game you go on a warmongering campaign? It's time to start practicing what you preach, buddy. I'm watching you.

    Wang Kon: I'm sorry I kick your ass in every game, but you shouldn't have built your city there! It's prime real estate for Peebo's mighty empire.

    Montezuma: In real life, your empire quickly collapsed due to the Spanish invasion, but in every game you expand like a virus and go a conquerin'. I don't trust you or your troops at the border!

    Incan Guy: I don't even remember your name, I just remember that you're always furious with me, probably because I just conquered half your cities. Get used to it, and I don't exactly shake in my boots at your scouts.
     
  13. darski

    darski Regent in Training

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    3,075
    Location:
    Ontario, Can.
    These are some good bits guys! Way to Go!!!
     
  14. TheOverseer714

    TheOverseer714 Overseer

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,077
    Location:
    Ohio
    Wang-kon: An MPP with France? Are you stupid or something?

    Joan: An Alliance with Persia? Against me? When I have tanks and am ahead by half an era? See, it's not real smart to punch the biggest guy on the playground, even if your boyfriend Xerxes eggs you on.

    Jerksees: Everyone who has declared on me this game has got their asses royally kicked, why did you think you would be any different? Arrogance and idiocy obviously go hand in hand....
     
  15. Spoonwood

    Spoonwood Grand Philosopher

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    4,856
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gilgamesh: Oh, I'm talking to myself now.

    Xerxes: I like that you have quite a bit of gold. But, why do you have to war early with your "immortals" that die, and then join in all the silly wars in the industrial age. Also, why in the world do you research Code of Laws? We seriously need to re-train both your research and your military "strategy" you stupid, stupid Fascist.

    Sultan Osman: I pity you. Even at Deity you sometimes seem like you're an Emperor... nay Monarch... nay Regent AI with your ridiculously slow research rate. And you're broke. I don't care that you've got a free tech, we all do Sultan.

    Wang Kong: You settled to close to my borders. Then you got pulverized before you could even think about getting me a free modern age tech. What use are you?

    Theodora: You have a quite small empire there... what 9 cities? But, you've still got plenty of gpt... and its a pangea map. If you only could research a little better.

    Hammy: Don't attack me early on, just because "look mom, I've got cheap temples!", o. k.? I will say thanks for really pushing the tech pace in the middle ages. You also gave me one premium deal for Nationalism. Thanks for the modern age second level techs also. But, why did you have to join in the silly wars against Wang Kong and others in the industrial age and turn into a Fascist dummy like immortal Xerxes?

    Alexander: I'll have to see what you act like in the future.

    Smoke-Jaguar: You looked good on paper when I planned things out once. You ended up useless even though you had an island to yourself. Some "grower" you are.

    Cathy: Well, you did supply coal. You also supplied a target for Persia to attack and go Fascist because of.. or stay Fascist because of. Shame on you. Did you or Osman supply me coal? I don't remember. Even if you did, shame of you... it's too fun to say.

    Otto von Bismarck: You don't really impress me much. Stay peaceful, give me good free techs, and we'll get along.
     
  16. Sweetchuck

    Sweetchuck King

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Messages:
    649
    Dear Montezuma:

    I am not sure how you know which of my coastal cities only has two regular defensive units guarding it, but I do appreciate your sending a single regular archer in a galley across the ocean and dropping it off right next to it. Now at least one of my regular units has been promoted to veteran.

    PS - please dispatch another archer once your galley returns, it would please me to see the second unit promoted.
     
  17. darski

    darski Regent in Training

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    3,075
    Location:
    Ontario, Can.
    :lol::lol::lol:
     
  18. capnvonbaron

    capnvonbaron Democratia gladii

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,783
    Location:
    cyberland, USA
    From my last game:

    Cleo: I really don't know how you were so worthless, and yet were still able to complete both the Great Wall AND the Colossus. Oh well -- mine now. BTW my knights enjoyed playing with your swordmen and spearmen. Well... just spearmen once the city with your source of iron became mine. Oh and thanks for letting my Musketeer win and trigger my GA, the timing was beautiful!

    Cathy: Our closest city to one another is about twenty jungle and mountain squares apart, I'm half an age ahead of you in techs, and you think I'm going to cave to your threats for Chivalry? HA! I'll let my buddies pound on you a bit, then I'll sweep in once I have cavalry and take the last few cities. Oh and before I forget, thanks for providing the GL that I created the 15hp knight army with that later conquered St. Pete and the Great Lighthouse, even though its already obsolete. I'll add it to my Wonder Collection.

    Alex: Hrm, wonder what that stack of knights on my border is up to. Hrm, wonder what that knight the galley just dropped off is up to. Oh, I see. You do realize I have arty, infantry, and cavalry, right? You do realize that your southern and northern neighbors have a good relationship with me, and your eastern Aztec neighbor in the jungle there (who I'm not really that fond of) would even punch himself in the face for 1 gold, right? Nope, guess not. You Die Now. Thanks for my second GL, Hoover takes way too dam long too build without rushing it (haha get it? Too dam long? I made a funny)

    Bizzy: Same as Alex, actually. Are you guys... y'know... um... 'partners' or whatever they call it these days..?

    Lizzy: Well, our relationship was pleasant enough until that spot of oil near Essex popped up. Sorry Liz, tanks don't run on sunshine and lollipops, y'know. And really... you had an MPP with Mao, the only guy in the game I don't feel like messing with, I sign an MPP with Mao, declare war on you, and you attack me in my home turf? Just how gullible are you, really?? Just be glad you didn't have any wonders for me to collect, otherwise you wouldn't be here anymore.

    Hammi: Don't know what happened buddy, you got off to such a great start, what with the Pyramids and the Oracle both in Babylon city limits. Talked too much trash to the Germans, Greeks, Romans, and Aztec earlier in the game? Have fun being a slave nation for the rest of the game. I'll make sure to grab Babylon from Alex when i get over that way, add those wonders to the collection.

    Caesar: Thanks for that RoP but, 15 cities and like, three roads? Whats the matter with you?? Even the dumb Aztec are starting to build rails! What, did you build like three workers so far this game? Just be glad I got to Babylon before Lincoln or I would've had to put that 20hp cavalry and 20hp tank army to use elsewhere, if you know what I mean. :trouble:

    Monty: Nice little jungle/mountain spread you got there. I usually have you gone by the end of the MA but... meh, not interested. Not worth the trouble this time. You make a nice little buffer from the western powerhouses.

    Abe, Mao, Hiawatha: Well, you guys have been pleasant thus far, paying me far too much for such useless techs as economics, medicine and whatever else. Two of you are safe being on the other side of Pan-Francia as I'll likely just end this with a 1600's space-race win. Hiawatha, well... you'd better just hope that spot of oil by Essex doesn't dry up, or sign into any dumb alliances. I may just take you over before you get replaceable parts, anyways. You have some very yummy territory :yumyum:
     
  19. darski

    darski Regent in Training

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    3,075
    Location:
    Ontario, Can.
    You make my day. Thanks a million :goodjob:

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     

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