Fun with Headlines

[onejayhawk]

These are all actual stories. Links are removed.

Bottom Stories of the Day - James Freeman, WSJ

Longest Books Ever Written
“Why Liberals Aren’t as Tolerant as They Think,” Politico, May 9

Questions Nobody is Asking
“Novel to ask: What if Hillary Clinton hadn’t married Bill?,” Associated Press, May 8

Well, Maybe Somebody Is Asking
“ Bill Clinton and James Patterson are writing a novel,” CNN, May 8

Which Lives Matter?
“Senate Democrats pressed on poor diversity in hiring,” Politico, May 9

Out on a Limb
“Depending on the extent of the damage, this could be close to a billion-dollar weather disaster for Colorado,” Washington Post, May 9

Precisely
“Abortion issue dents Dems effort to promote next generation,” Associated Press, May 8

Home Crooking
“Charges dismissed against NM man accused of stealing mom’s posole,” Associated Press, May 8

J

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Questions Nobody is Asking
“Novel to ask: What if Hillary Clinton hadn’t married Bill?,” Associated Press, May 8

Joke. Old but relevant.

Spoiler :

Sometime during his presidency, Bill Clinton and Hilary need a getaway. They go to Illinois. They ditch the secret service so they can take a drive in the country, just the two of them. Things are going well.

But they have to stop for gas. There's a guy working the counter at the gas station. Typical rural place that would be called a 'mom and pop' if mom and pop ever showed up, but in the modern era is probably owned by a corporation that pays the guy minimum wage and begrudges him that.

As they are paying for the gas a light sort of comes on in the guy's eyes. Bill thinks "here we go, the guy recognizes the president, finally." But the guy says "Hilary? Hilary Rodham?"

After a quick exchange she recognizes the guy, and as is usual with people who haven't seen each other in a long time and never really plan to see each other again they are soon on their way. Bill asks her who the guy is, and she informs him that they dated in high school, briefly. So Bill thinks this fits in perfectly with their needed little getaway, and says "I guess it's a good thing that didn't go very far. Think what it would be like, being married to him instead of me."

And Hilary says...

Spoiler :

"Yeah, he'd be president and you'd be selling gas in the sticks.