Would you have a relationship with a woman who earned ~3 times more than you?

[Quintillus]

Hrmm, if she made more I'd be okay with it, even it was significantly more, as long as I was doing something with my life that resulted in me feeling pride beyond just how big my paycheck is. I wouldn't be able to tolerate being a freeloader, it would make me feel worthless and wreck my already fragile self esteem.

I like this answer. Well put. That covers the "I earn less" case.

For the "I earn more" case, I think it would be comparable. I'd want her to have an income and feel that she was doing something worthwhile in life. In fact, I'd actually consider it a red flag if she wasn't earning enough to live comfortably on her own and would be dependent on my income. So I guess I am saying I wouldn't date someone who was unemployed without future prospects, but I wouldn't rule out a billionaire right away. That does still leave a good amount of room where should could be earning less than me, but still plenty enough to not be a red flag, though.

As for intelligence. There's definitely a lower boundary - if I can't have intelligent conversations with her, it's not going to work long-term. She wouldn't have to be as smart as me, but comparable and able to win arguments is necessary. I don't think being more intelligent than me would be a negative. I can see where always losing arguments could be demoralizing, so perhaps someone way out of my league intelligence-wise would be problematic, but usually I find high intelligence to be attractive. I suspect the higher boundary, if it exists, would be much further off than the low one.

By "arguments" I mean like logical, philosophical, and political arguments, not fighting.

 

[ZeletDude]

Why of course!!

 

[Atlas14]

I'd feel like I was dating my mom, who I regularly rely on for support with certain purchases/financial debt (not so much atm, but as recently as a few months ago). I guess it'd be different if I was also making enough to be buying whatever I want on my own/doing whatever I want, and her x3 salary was for financial security purposes.

 

[Akka]

I prefer income equality.
I feel more comfortable when no one is depending on the other for material things, and when both can participate equally in the household. It avoids lots of uncomfortable or annoying problems.

 

[Hygro]

I'd be okay (stoked, really) with it, so long as I'm doing something very different. If I'm making art, or I was a politician or a professor, etc, then I have no qualms. If I was in finance hoping to make 7 figures and she was making more, I'd have mixed feelings. Part of me would be turned on--and if we were emotionally close, proud of her--and part of me would be unhappy with myself.

And if she earned 3x more because she was a career woman who didn't want kids, kthxbyebye

 

[GinandTonic]

The more money the merrier. At some point of income disparity you have to be a bit realistic about the difference between paying your share and not being a scrounger. Same deal as with a friend that earns five or tens times what you do. Sure it's a slight awkwardness to negotiate in any type of relationship but if it's that big a problem one of you cares about money far too much.

 

[Yared]

Without limit? Would you feel comfortable with a woman who was well beyond your level intellectually?

Testing the waters? So cute.

No, i'm not joking. And I am about to retire from the military in the next few years and wouldnt object to being a trophy husband at all. I would revel in it in fact.

Not to sound presumptuous, but I've always gotten the feeling that you've always been a big support and help in the education of your wife (psychology, was it?).

Assuming that that's true, do you think your revelling in being a trophy husband has something to do with that? Does you having had a part in it making you feel like you've contributed and not just lazed around?

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It'd depend on a whole lot of stuff: Am I planing on moving up (like quitting my job of flipping hamburgers so I can finally do? Am I a fulfilled man or do I hate what I'm doing? Does she flaunt it or try to manipulate me with it? At the end of the day of having barked out orders and acting all professional and hard, can I make her feel like a little girl who just wanna mess around in her PJs????

 

[JollyRoger]

No, i'm not joking. And I am about to retire from the military in the next few years and wouldnt object to being a trophy husband at all. I would revel in it in fact.

I know some guys in Massachusetts that can make dream come true today.

 

[MobBoss]

Not to sound presumptuous, but I've always gotten the feeling that you've always been a big support and help in the education of your wife (psychology, was it?).

Assuming that that's true, do you think your revelling in being a trophy husband has something to do with that? Does you having had a part in it making you feel like you've contributed and not just lazed around?

Well, even if I were a house husband, I wouldnt just 'laze around' either. Oh, I might at first, but that would get pretty darn boring quick.

But yeah, my feeling goes from when I worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs to make ends meet early in my career so that my wife could be a stay-at-home mom and take care of our kids. Now that the kids are just about to launch, and she is embarking on her career via her degrees, seems to me I am due some less stressful moments in life. Sounds good to me.