Girl Problems? Ask

[Civrules]

Is the premise that you are able to attract any girl you want to attract a reasonably concrete criteria?

Actually that might not be reasonable at all... since it is impossible to attract someone you are afraid to approach due to being uncomfortable.

So that's off the list, I guess!

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

It is also not possible to attract anyone you want to attract even if you have the 'game' down cold. The fact is, we don't have that power. Attraction is not like that.

 

[cegman]

Eran it is possible to attract people you want if you have your game down cold

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I doubt it. Not all the people I want to attract, especially since my ultimate goal in the game is a little different from most of the posters here. I mean, I am quite sure that no woman to whom I was not naturally attracted could be guaranteed to attract me.

 

[cegman]

Well yea you can't attract EVERYONE you want to attract some people are crazy and stuff or are taken or are just in a bad mood. Eran remeber one very important thing Girls and Guys are attracted to VERY different things.

 

[Civrules]

I doubt it. Not all the people I want to attract, especially since my ultimate goal in the game is a little different from most of the posters here. I mean, I am quite sure that no woman to whom I was not naturally attracted could be guaranteed to attract me.

You can't compare the things girls and guys are attracted to because they just can't be compared.

Of course a woman can't attract you if you are not attracted to her… or at least, it is very hard for her to do that.
We work in very different ways.
Guys aren't attracted to girls just because of "social proof," and a million other different things like girls are to guys.

That's why I've said in the past that guys have it a lot easier than girls because even if we are ugly, overweight, underweight, or whatnot, we can make ourselves attractive.

In essense, all it comes down to is evolution and survivability. If you get these across to other women (meaning that you display that you are a great catch), they will be attracted to you.
On the other hand, we are attracted to women initially mostly because of how they look, and also their character.

Very rarely if at all have I met a girl who was so cold that she just didn't allow a chance for us to converse. Or to be outright rude to me even before I opened my mouth.
On the other hand, you may ask a more unatractive girl if she has had difficulty because of rudeness from other guys even when they did not know her. She'll probably say yes.

 

[Masquerouge]

Very rarely if at all have I met a girl who was so cold that she just didn't allow a chance for us to converse. Or to be outright rude to me even before I opened my mouth.
On the other hand, you may ask a more unatractive girl if she has had difficulty because of rudeness from other guys even when they did not know her. She'll probably say yes.

That's very true. The fat, ugly girl has it a lot worse than the fat, ugly guy.

But OTOH the sex drive is not the same for girls and guys, so...

 

[Rossiya]

That's very true. The fat, ugly girl has it a lot worse than the fat, ugly guy.

But OTOH the sex drive is not the same for girls and guys, so...

Yes, I would say that it is worse for an ugly man than an ugly woman. Stereotypically, women do not always want to have sex, and men do. So when an ugly man really wants to have sex, and he can't get any girl because he's so ugly, it's obviously going to be very frustrating for him.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Besides, a normal looking guy with no game is much worse off than a normal looking girl with no game.

 

[Civrules]

Yes, I would say that it is worse for an ugly man than an ugly woman. Stereotypically, women do not always want to have sex, and men do. So when an ugly man really wants to have sex, and he can't get any girl because he's so ugly, it's obviously going to be very frustrating for him.

Of course, stereotypically.
That's why this works so well. Your number one goal when approaching a girl is to be CERTAIN that she will NOT interpret the approach as a sign of interest.

 

[luiz]

Very rarely if at all have I met a girl who was so cold that she just didn't allow a chance for us to converse. Or to be outright rude to me even before I opened my mouth.
On the other hand, you may ask a more unatractive girl if she has had difficulty because of rudeness from other guys even when they did not know her. She'll probably say yes.

This is a regional thing, I guess. In Rio the really pretty girls in the cool nightclubs will never allow you to converse with them unless you have a gazillion digits in your bank account. Aim lower or don't aim at all, that's how it works here. And it works both ways, many friends tell me that I'm incredibly rude to non-attractive girls that approach me, even though I don't do it on purpose.

But in other parts of the country even the prettiest girl will have the decency to at least talk to you a bit.

 

[Civrules]

If you exhibit the characteristics of a high-status guy on the surface it'd be stupid for girls to blow you off, because on the flip-side it would be stupid for a guy to blow off a real attractive girl when she approaches him.
But I'm not questioning what you say much, because I don't know all the major differences in Rio. Generally I think what I said above should be about right.

 

[TheBladeRoden]

Alright this acting indifferent thing is not working out for me for it only gets the same in return.

 

[Gilder]

Alright this acting indifferent thing is not working out for me for it only gets the same in return.

You can't act completely indifferent, that will get you no where. But you can make yourself more mysterious, and a challenge to girls if you do it right.

 

[TheBladeRoden]

Doing it right is not an option.
A technique that is more receptive to the shotgun approach?

 

[Civrules]

Alright this acting indifferent thing is not working out for me for it only gets the same in return.

Okay, by saying that you have to act indifferent, the point is that you have to come up with the approach that does not signal to the girl that you are attracted to her (which in most cases is even before she is attracted to you).
Indifference means no special attention which translates to attraction on an obvious level.

You can't expect to treat her as you treat any other acquaintance and get somewhere.

So start with this: Be funny and be the life of the party. Be different from other people, and be energetic. After that is done, you have the power to say anything you want to her that would get her curious. Tease her and playfully find faults.
You might think that doing this signals attraction, but it is not true. The fact is that in her eyes, you have her in your attention because she may be clumsy, unorganized, or "not with it." Since you are the life of the party, it is obvious that you have a lot of people on your mind, and not just her. That gets her interested also.
Then she will try to prove you wrong, and this signals attraction on her part. When she gets physical with you (if she hits you with a smile on her face after you have said something), you are on the right track.

Then the next day, do not give her any attention. This gets her curious and inspires mystery. The day after that go on with your typical routine. In time you will establish comfort where you will have no problem getting her. It's a very fun process.

And yes, I believe you can be with any girl you want to be with. You just have to believe it. And I do.

 

[Civrules]

Doing it right is not an option.
A technique that is more receptive to the shotgun approach?

What is the shotgun approach?

 

[Gogf]

It seems that what CR says about body language is true. Earlier today, I noticed that a girl who I suspect likes me was standing in exactly the same way that I was. I switched my position to see what would happen, and she changed to the exact same position a few moments later. Every time I shifted a position, she would follow not long after with a change of her own. She didn't always change into the exact same position that I did, but it was nonetheless somewhat uncanny.

What's more surprising is that I'm sure this happens all the time. We're just not looking for it, so we never notice when it happens.

 

[Civrules]

It seems that what CR says about body language is true. Earlier today, I noticed that a girl who I suspect likes me was standing in exactly the same way that I was. I switched my position to see what would happen, and she changed to the exact same position a few moments later. Every time I shifted a position, she would follow not long after with a change of her own. She didn't always change into the exact same position that I did, but it was nonetheless somewhat uncanny.

What's more surprising is that I'm sure this happens all the time. We're just not looking for it, so we never notice when it happens.

We're not looking for so many things, it's not even funny. When you start noticing these things, it enriches the environment around you quite a bit more. So notice EVERYTHING and find meaning for it. It's good practice.

By the way, she doesn't have to change her position to mirror yours right away. Within 30 or so seconds is pretty good timing too.

 

[TheBladeRoden]

What is the shotgun approach?

Where you don't have to get it just right, close enough will do.