Girl Problems? Ask

[C~G]

Elaborate?

It's nothing sort of special really, it is that whole theory is based into thought that person that wants to get along with women have to be a "player" who has same mental state that "all women have" while other men that don't get along with women don't have this mental state while they are all still working based into the same biological superstructures.

In other words in the light of this theory women are always bonded by their initial biological state while men have choice to be either "pawn" or a "player".

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I will just say that billions of men have managed to end up with someone, so it can't be that difficult or complicated.

 

[Civrules]

I will just say that billions of men have managed to end up with someone, so it can't be that difficult or complicated.

Well of course. No one is saying that if you don't apply this you'll never get married.

This is not my religion, either. It just makes thing a whole lot easier to understand. And when things are easier to understand, you adapt to them. When you adapt to them you become more successful. When you become more successful you live a happier life. When you live a happier life, many more things start to fall into place as well.

Looking at the big picture this thread aims to solve people's problems with girls (or guys) and attempt to explain why things happen.

You don't have to agree with anything I or anyone else says either.

 

[BCLG100]

I will just say that billions of men have managed to end up with someone, so it can't be that difficult or complicated.

its as difficult or as complicated as you want to make it.

Be who you are and you'll find someone who'll like that person- you dont need to psycho analyse the situations as civrules has been doing with his book etc (not that im saying its wrong nor is he wrong) but there are other schools of thoughts so just cos mr rules says one thing doesnt mean its necesarily the right way to go-which im sure civ appreciates as well

 

[C~G]

I would consider these kind of theories being the same as trying to explain someone the basics of all ball games by explaining the rules of american football.

Trying to describe invidual rules of american football being same as with all other games is rather pointless. Getting lot of fat and muscle doesn't help if you go to play soccer then. Sure you play it with ball and you need all kinds of qualities to compete in them all, but what matters is that you play the game and try to get advantage in that particular game. But of course it's obvious that if you sit on the bench or reside in the stands you won't ever have chance to win anything in any game. If your characteristics don't fit that particular game, find a new one where you fit in naturally and start developing the skills needed in that particular game.

Just my view of the issue through yet another stupid analogy from my archives.

 

[Civrules]

its as difficult or as complicated as you want to make it.

Be who you are and you'll find someone who'll like that person- you dont need to psycho analyse the situations as civrules has been doing with his book etc (not that im saying its wrong nor is he wrong) but there are other schools of thoughts so just cos mr rules says one thing doesnt mean its necesarily the right way to go-which im sure civ appreciates as well

Like attracts like, so you are correct.

I don't intend of pushing this information down anybody's throat. I've just stated my view-points for free interpretation. There are other schools of thought with everything. Just follow your gut. If you don't want to do something, do not do it. Why? There is NOTHING worse than doing something you are not good at just to make it appear that you are [trying to be] "with it."

If you want to buy a woman gifts. Go ahead. It is your choice.
If you want to call her and tell her that you miss her, you have that freedom.
If you want to tell her how beautiful she is, do it as often as YOU feel.
If you don't think you should kiss her, do not kiss her.
If she is talking to another guy and you feel that it is not right, you have the right to get insecure.
If you embarrass yourself, maybe you should not turn it into a joke. God forbid she gets offended.

Again, it all comes down to personal preference and how people see things.

But what if, just for once, you risk it?
What if you do something new that you've never done before?

Some people fear this because they hate uncertainty. That's why so many people are closed off to other possibilities.





Bottom line is this: It's your life. Do as you please.

But if things don't go as expected, for the love of God - do not whine and complain. Because it is the path you chose.

 

[C~G]

But what if, just for once, you risk it?

And there isn't really anything to risk if you have failed before in these practices. In general I would recommend people listening this advice as it at least gives insight how certain people see things who have been there and done that.

Only thing where things might fall apart is that you start to act something you aren't which eventually breaks down all the effort or you don't understand to control yourself and be picky when enough women starts to get interested about you because of your improved game.

I have seen it happen so what you need to do is make goal for yourself to strife for. The prey and the hunt is different depending are you searching for one night stand, short time relationship or long term relationship.

 

[Civrules]

Well that's the number one reason why people don't trust new things.

They hate changing themselves.

Again, it has to do with the uncertainty thing.

 

[C~G]

And very possible with that jerk/nice guy dilemma which you mentioned earlier.
IMO it is just pseudo-problem. It ain't "real" problem but only problem inside that mindset so as soon as you get out of that, the problem disappears.
(You have to kind of dissolve rather than resolve it.)

 

[Civrules]

And very possible with that jerk/nice guy dilemma which you mentioned earlier.
IMO it is just pseudo-problem. It ain't "real" problem but only problem inside that mindset so as soon as you get out of that, the problem disappears.
(You have to kind of dissolve rather than resolve it.)

Ahh, that's totally right.
Most of our problems are just illusions.

 

[BCLG100]

Well that's the number one reason why people don't trust new things.

They hate changing themselves.

Again, it has to do with the uncertainty thing.

the risk is one of the best parts, its comparible to the rush you get from extreme sports when you have a first kiss etc. Jumping down the side of a building etc

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

I'm not talking about the initial ritual, I'm talking about the time after the games have all been played out and I think I can afford to be honest. It never works. I make it explicitly clear that I'm lowering my guard because I think that the woman is worthy of trust, and every time it turns out she isn't, really.

I agree. This exact same thing has happened to me numerous times. It's only recently that I've begun to realize that women NEVER let up on these games. Even long after you're married, the wife will still try to test your dominance and if you give even an inch, she'll soon take a mile. The only thing that changes is the nature of the tests.

In years past, such tests were superfluous because women didn't really have anything that their husband or father let them have. So it was easy to pass the tests of dominance because that was the default position. But since women have gained the right to earn a living and be treated more equitably, men are increasingly put in more difficult positions to pass these tests.

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

Hmm... sounds familiar doesn't it? This is why girls who test men most (who tend to be the most attractive ones) also tend to have emotional problems. It's because the men they hook up and fall in love with are the controlling/ nasty ones who just use them. And they then have the temerity to blame men for their problems, which are caused by their behaviour.

They have only themselves to blame because they only go for the bad boys and then get upset when those bad boys act their part. Women these days can play dual roles. They can either play the victim or the aggressor, and both are socially acceptable, often within the same person at the same time.

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

I will just say that billions of men have managed to end up with someone, so it can't be that difficult or complicated.

That answers nothing. We have no idea how all those men "ended up" with who did, or how it worked out.

I hate it when people cop-out by saying "it's been done for a long time" or "I've been doing this for a long time", like the passage of time justifies sometihng.

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

I would consider these kind of theories being the same as trying to explain someone the basics of all ball games by explaining the rules of american football.

I notice you didn't mention your take in response.

 

[Civrules]

That answers nothing. We have no idea how all those men "ended up" with who did, or how it worked out.

I hate it when people cop-out by saying "it's been done for a long time" or "I've been doing this for a long time", like the passage of time justifies sometihng.

I guess a common answer is that it does get easier for guys to get married to women in their late 20's, early 30's. Same with women. It has been said here before. In their late 20's they calm down and start to settle down.

But in the earlier years it hasn't always been that easy because the focus to settle down wasn't there.

But this all can be knocked down to a science and the perspective of possibility increases dramatically.

Or you can look at certain situations as a blur and wonder, "what just happened there???"

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I sense bitterness, nano . . .

 

[C~G]

I notice you didn't mention your take in response.

Sorry, what do you mean with that?

No. Nowadays, the portrayal is that women are the helpless victims of men's predation. In fact, this is an anachronism. This may've been true before women's rights, but isn't true anymore. Women have gained the priviledge of being able to work and earn an independent income, but also kept the priviledge of expecting to be taken care of by men. So they have literally been able to have their cake and eat it too.

Yeah, I would agree but still the previous condition does affect people. That's why these things bother people still.

As I mentioned earlier I consider these all more of pseudo-problems, mental sets which start to define the whole behaviour of this person and leads person perceiving wrong kind of things about their relationship. Quite many don't even know what kind of relationship they really want, both women and men.

Someone already mentioned that these are more of guidelines and small insights that people should keep in mind when dating women. But when it comes to invidual women and women under example different culture/subculture the game might be totally different. And if you have mental set that defines them being some kind of predators themselves you might lose the game itself. Some women are extremely fragile when it comes to these things, they just act like some men to be players. The only advantage women have over men is that they are prepared for relationships for all their life while guys usually concentrate into other issues more. But even this trend is about to change. Men have the advantage that if they have courage to ask women out, they don't really lose anything by doing that. In fact it just makes them have more courage and gives advantage while dating other women.

We might love the women but the women even more love the game itself.
Little bit like with men and football.

 

[Gilder]

Let's say sometime ago in a class of mine, I said something witty. And that this girl pretty much expressed... liking towards the line. Now she has said this line every subsequent class since then, at least loud enough for me to hear.

Could this be an indication of attraction?

 

[Civrules]

Let's say sometime ago in a class of mine, I said something witty. And that this girl pretty much expressed... liking towards the line. Now she has said this line every subsequent class since then, at least loud enough for me to hear.

Could this be an indication of attraction?

Okay, we speak that you should always assume it is on between you and another girl. Why? Because then your mind automatically conditions itself to do the right things instead of thinking negatively.

That said, on reality's level, you cannot tell if she is attracted just because of that. There are MULTIPLE things you have to look at in order to conclude whether or not she is attracted. Something as simple as that holds no water.

So just do your thing. Tell her with humor not to repeat the line because it is your own. Challenge her a bit so she gets a little confused… while at the same time; do not look for a reaction from her.