Mirc said:
Ok, I'll ask for advice:
Why, even though I am a good friend with most everyone I know, and though they seem to admire me and laugh at my jokes, and ask me and talk to me whenever they have problems, I can't go further with any girl? Why all the jerks who make absolutely stupid jokes, who care only for having sex, and, well, let's say "not so intelligent" make girls go crazy about them? I don't understand this: I am 15, believe me I'm very intelligent, I'm not bad looking (moderately tall, with blue eyes), I have the sense of humor, I make good jokes and laugh, I can talk about anything, but I didn't even kiss someone at all? (except for kissing on the cheek for good-bye) Why if I try to be "more than friends" the girl looks absolutely amazed and tells me I'm crazy, and never talks to me again (!) if I even try to hold her hand or put my arm around her neck? (which all the other guys can do this without any trouble).
Ok good question. Actually a very good question because I've got the perfect answer for you. I've the answer and I'll try to break it down as much as possible so it makes perfect logical sense. Countless of people are confused about this and it's pretty frustrating. Actually it's amazing how many people don't understand what they are doing wrong. Once you get this little part, you would be set.
I used to be in the same place you were. I loved who I was and I loved the fact that I had a lot of friends but I was still VERY confused as to why I wasn't getting anywhere. Exactly the same postion as you.
Hmm, there's so much info I have to go through it's hard to pick where to start... This information is from a dude called Mystery who is an expert.
Ok, there are three steps to getting a girl. The order cannot be re-arranged at all. I'll give you examples what happens when you switch this order. First, the correct order is this:
1. You must attract the girl
2. The next step: You must build comfort with the girl
3. The final step: Seduce the girl.
How do you attract a girl? Remember what I said earlier. Guys are automatically attracted to "hot" girls. We are turned on by their faces/bodies/physique. It is automatic.
These are automatic switches for us. Girls also have these. As David DeAngelo has said, "Attraction isn't a choice." What this means is that you can be the ugliest/shortest guy in the world, but by triggering attraction, a woman will fall for you. Why? Because women are strongly attracted to a character that makes her feel that.
Now, how do you make a woman feel attracted to you? It is impossible or hard as hell to get a girl if she doesn't feel attracted to you. Looks, in this case, don't close the deal (remember what I said about the different things guys and girls are attracted to in the opposite sex). So you must do something different:
Girls are attracted to leaders. You display leadership by not kissing @$$. This begins to turn the attraction switches on.
Second, make women qualify themselves to you. Make fun of them in a way that makes them insecure and self-conscious, but does not lower their self-esteem. If you lower their self-esteem, they run because they don't want to be with people who make them feel bad. Thus, in order to make them feel good, be funny while you play around with them.
When she notices that you are finding faults in her, she'll try to prove you wrong. Voilla! More attraction switches are being flipped by this.
At that point, it is time for you to indicate subtly that you are not interested in her. An example, if you are talking to her, say that you have to go. Go with another group of people and talk to them. She wonders what is up with that, and she starts chasing you in an attempt to figure out what is wrong.
The difference between the jerk and you is this:
You do not start with making the girl feel attracted to you. The jerk did.
You focused on step three: You tried to seduce her. This is starting at the back and that is why you failed. Guys who try to seduce girls first are known as "nice guys" because they throw compliments at the girl in an attempt to make her like him. That doesn't work. You tried holding hands with her or put your arm around her. That doesn't work because you have not established comfort yet (step 2).
Honestly, put yourself in an attractive girl's shoes. Seriously.
It can honestly be a curse if a girl is attractive because she is showered with attention from guys that don't get it. She gets bored (read my first post in this thread). She may even get angry because it gets so boring and tedious to deal with these guys who don't get it!
On the other hand if you start with comfort first, it doesn’t work either because it says that you are already interested in her. Why should she care if she isn’t interested in you in the first place? So I hope now you see why it is important to do it in the 1, 2, 3 order.
Know that this advice is pretty valuable and 99+% of the men in the world don't know what the hell is going on. This isn't a joke. They go crazy because they are uneducated and don't know what to do. Some commit suicide. (I'm not trying to make humor at all, it's just a fact. It's hard to be stuck at a place where you are not happy when you have no idea what you can do to get better.)
....
me?
Very good though.
