Good Summary of WW1

[Uncle Anton]

I in no way take credit for this.... found it on an imageboard website of ill-repute.... Probably been posted on the internet before, but it's the first time I've seen it, and it made me LOL

Spoiler :

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.

When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.

Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

 

[ParkCungHee]

You know, if you're going to write out six paragraphs, why not actually try summarizing WWI, rather then a hackneye analogy?

 

[Tee Kay]

We've a historical jokes thread.

 

[Uncle Anton]

You know, if you're going to write out six paragraphs, why not actually try summarizing WWI, rather then a hackneye analogy?

You know, if you're going to write out a single sentence critique, why not actually try it on a serious proposition that is obviously not light-hearted in content, rather than a hackneye statement that reveals a complete lack of a sense of humour?

It was meant to be a bit of brevity... lighten up.

 

[LightSpectra]

You know, if you're going to write out a single sentence critique, why not actually try it on a serious proposition that is obviously not light-hearted in content, rather than a hackneye statement that reveals a complete lack of a sense of humour?

That's a good point, because critics can never have a deadpan sense of humor.

 

[Communisto]

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

More like Russia drunkenly stumbles over to Austria and fumbles "*hic* hey-HEY, you stay away from him *hic* thats my mother***ing BRO *hic* an' if you wanna **** with him im g-gunna mess you up *hic*"

 

[History_Buff]

This part made me laugh:

Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

As I am currently reading about the Versailles negotiations, this really rings true (not that I blame Orlando or Sonnino too much, they found themselves in an impossible situation).

Beyond that, I don't see why everyone feels the need to boil WWI into one anecdote. It was a complicated affair, and a VERY different war from WWII, and I don't mean just the style of battle.

 

[vogtmurr]

I thought it was pretty hilarious. I was afraid it was gonna be that pencil drawn comic with the leaders that look like map pieces. it was funny the first time too.

 

[Smellincoffee]

I always thought WW1 resembled a bar fight between a bunch of drunk morons. This confirms it.

Though, I think it might work better if Belgium was some little guy who was pushed out of the way when Germany decided to rush France.