I Have A Drinking Problem

[Simon Darkshade]

Ok, this is it. After 2nite, I realize that I have a problem. I am basically dependent upon drink as a social lubricant. I was wrong; basically I reckon I am an alchoholic, and I don't won't to stay this way. You blessed people have given a lot of good advice in your time, and I reckon I need some now. I'm young, and I drink, but I do so to excess, and I want to stop. I want to be a good man, who doiesn't lean on booze to give him everything. I thought 4 a long time that I was allright, but 2nite, something just clicked. I drink far too much and I need help. Can anyone here who has gone thru anything similar offert any advice. I am drunk, and I honestly don't like the fact that I can only socialize when drunk. Please, I welcome your advice and suggestions, as this now has become a problem that even I can see. I want to be a good, sober individual, but I need to break this addiction, and you blokes are perhaps the only ones I can turn to for impartial support. This is it. I dodn't do anyhting bad, but it finally hit me. I want out. Help.
Please reply, so I can get over this.

I have a problem. I am addicted. I need help and advice.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

The only program with any track record of success is Alcoholics Anonymous. No medical or clinical program comes anywhere near its success rate.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

I might try that, but I am scared that I could give up this much control of my life to just drink, but it does control me, to an extent.
I might try AA, if it comes to that, but I will try beating it on my own first. I was raised to face my problems, and with the help of God and everyone else, I will do so. I am hellbent on reclaiming my life back from what it has become. I have problems. Everyone does. I think I might also be a bit of a compulsive liar. I tell many untruths, but I reckon it all boils down to this. I have replaced my life with a drunken charade, and I want out!

I reckon I am a strong man, in character. I have had my screwups and mistakes, but now I want to get on the Damascus road. I want to be good, and in control. I've read so much about good and great men, and now it is time to be one. Period.

Has anyone here had a similar experience? If so, please share it, because I need advice. I have made up my mind. I want to change, and with the help of God and man, I will do so. Responses and PM's very much appreciated.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[thedirk]

I admire your courage. You obviously are a strong person with a strong character.

Just remember that nobody overcomes this sort of thing in one day. If you do fall down, just back up again.

Many people do find it difficult to get over addictions on their own. Don't be ashamed to go to AA for help. You may find that face to face help is what you need. In the end you know yourself the best and know what you need. Just go find it / do it. We're all behind you 100%, no matter what.

I don't want to sound like a preacher, but you might find that this guy

can help too.

 

[drake]

Get rid of your temptations. Stop hanging out at places that serve only alcohol and get rid of your excess supply at home. It's hard to stop drinking if you have a problem. It's 10x harder when you have easy access to alcohol.

Thats all I can suggest right now I guess.

 

[Leowind]

Simon, I've not had personal experience with alcoholism, though my father-in-law and step-father-in-law have both been sober through AA for several years now. I think the face to face with someone who has been there and beat it is important. We of course support you 110% here at Civfanatics, but beating this on your own will be very difficult. Find someone you can trust to share this with, and I think AA would be a very good thing. If you want God's help in this--and you say you do-- you may need to give up your own control a bit and not try to do it on your own. It is NOT a sign of weakness to look for help when you need it. I know it is a big and difficult step, but you've taken the hardest step already--admitting you have a problem

.

Keep us updated, please!! We care about you and want to support you. I pray God's presence with you as you fight this.

 

[Alcibiaties of Athenae]

You have taken the first and most important step, Simon.

Admitting to yourself you have a problem.

I can't offer much on this subject, and I won't give you any bad advice.

The best I can offer is to listen to men like Lefty, who, even though he kids a lot, is worth listening too, and I don't say that lightly.

Leowind and Drake are also correct in my opinion.

For what it's worth, you have my support.

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<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/blast.gif" border=0><FONT size="4"><FONT COLOR="blue">All knowledge begins with the Phrase:</FONT c><FONT COLOR="red"> I don't know</FONT c></FONT s><IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/ninja1.gif" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">Tuatha De Denann Tribe</FONT c>

 

[SamBamJellyJam]

My father's mother died of liver failure because she drank too much and my uncle was an alcoholic. But guess what! He went to AA and is now recovered and living a normal life! I have to watch my consumption because this is a genetic problem. DONT TOUCH ANOTHER BEER! OR BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, WINE, OR WHISKEY! ITS ALL ALCOHOL! Get help first, man! GO!

 

[TrailblazingScot]

I couldn't become an alcoholic...

1.

and I'm

2.

and I'm

3. Several

and I'm

4. More means

but I have never

 

[Damien]

1st,ask urself y do u drink n then get a passion.
If u have a wife,get "drunk of her".

 

[Brad]

Simon, Drake is right on staying away from places that serve, but there is one more thing that I can suggest as well... Try to avoid to some extent people you drank with.If you know your buddies every friday night go out drinking, don't go with them. I know it was hard for you to admit this to us but it might be a good idea to tell your <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/beerchug.gif" border=0> buddies about it to. If they don't know they'll keep asking you to drink... if however they know you have a problem they'll support you, if they don't how good of a friend can they be.


I read the Bible, if you want a scripture or two give me a PM. <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/goodwork.gif" border=0> We're pulling for ya buddie.

EDIT: Kitten Yes you could become an alchoholic, just because you don't have a high tolerence doesn't mean a thing... Alchoholism is defined as not being able to go w\out a drink. For example, if you drink every night, even one drink, and then can't go one night w\out a drink you are an alchoholic. Don't worry I'm not trying to rag on you or anything, just helping you realize a common misconceptiop. Most people think Alchoholics have a huge tolerance, but that isn't true.

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Silence Fills the Nothingness......NERRRR!

Even though stuff happens that we don't plan, be a man... use you hand.

I'm in love and it's my job to make other people jealous.
<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/love2.gif" border=0>

[This message has been edited by Brad (edited June 28, 2001).]

 

[SlowwHand]

As has been said, recognition is most important step.

My mother attnded A.A., and swears by it; as does a friend of mine.
The friend, I hated when I knew him as a drinker. Obnoxius as hell. Completely different guy now.

Remember, when you're drinking, only you are thinking you're smooth. To the unintoxicated or less so, well...
Don't let it beat you by the desire being stronger than you are.

Luck to you.

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It's In The Way That You Use It
Tuatha De Danann Tribe
ICQ 51553293

 

[Johan511]

Hey man, look on the bright side, atleast you didn't decide to get addicted to Herion

WISDOM, my friend search for it when you feel like you need to get drunk.
and TRY with a passion not to change your mood with the alchy. These things will help, but it's a long road ahead.
Love Ya's

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<IMG SRC="http://www.overgrow.com/edge/images/smilies/alien.gif" border=0>

 

[andycapp]

Simon, it took guts and intelligence to admit what you did

. I used to binge drink (when I was about your age) it consisted of meeting my mates down at the local pub on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights drinking lots of beer and mixed drinks, and then depending on the night - Thursdays -> go on to another pub, Fridays -> go to a night club or see a live band and Saturdays -> parties (usually nurses

) - of course all this meant more drinking!

The thing to consider about changing your habits is that much of what you do is probably very much part of your lifestyle (stating the obvious I know), particularly the people you mix with, whether they be friends, family, fellow students or workers are going to influence your drinking habits in a big way. Put simply, all your good intentions will be useless if your social life revolves around meeting friends in pubs, clubs or anywhere else where drinking is expected.

What this means is you will need to consider the situations in which you are likely to drink and if it is possible to limit your alcohol intake, of course it may not be possible and then you are faced with the choice of making major lifestyle changes. If you really want to do something about it you may need to make these sort of decisions - it's not easy and this is where you may need help, whether it be AA or someone you can rely on and trust - it will depend on the extent of your problem.

You have made a big step just admitting you've got a problem, if you are really intent on dealing with it I would suggest some professional advice. We all mean well with our advice, but this sort of problem requires someone who knows what they're talking about.

Btw if I can help in anyway let me know and goodluck!

andycapp

 

[dreadhead7]

Simon, I admire your courage, and wish you the best. You'll make it!

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"Shake the world beneath your feet up"
--Johnny Clegg

 

[gjts00]

About 4 or 5 years ago I was entrenched in a pretty bad alcohol kick (I'm Polish, I come from a long line of drunks). The funny thing is that I never once thought that it was a problem until I had the click that you mentioned. It's good that you noticed it for what it was. What got to me was that I got sick & tired of being sick & tired (to use a cliche). Luckily I beat it on my own, by changing all of my outside influences (just like the sage-like advice that Drake offered). And trust me on this one point...When you realize that you've beaten it, you're gonna feel like a new man. You may not need to quit drinking completely, that is if you can find the strength to achieve moderation...And I'll grant that that's a hell of a lot easier said than done. Good luck, this is going to require a high degree of strength of character.

One last thought Simon...Appreciate (but don't enjoy) this hard time in your life, because without the hard times, you wouldn't know a good one if it bit you on the ass!

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Listen, strange women lying around in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system government.

 

[goodbye_mr_bond]

...Well, now I feel a bit embarrassed for having posted at your 'favourite drinks' thread.

You're on the right track when you cite fear of interaction and self-dishonesty as the roots of your problem. I've known a few recovered alcoholics who have explained it to me like that.

Know this: Since you've joined these forums, I've without exception been impressed by your sense of humour, intelligence, and kindness. I'm sure others have too. These things cannot be faked, and aren't produced by alcohol (despite what one may think when drunk). So insecurity at least you can scratch off your reasons for drinking. Hate to break it to you like this, but you're a really really great guy. And I'm not just saying that.

Dude, you need to be completely honest with yourself before you can begin *healing* yourself. You feel like you're a compulsive liar, but lying in itself isn't the problem. Why do you lie?

Anyway, being honest doesn't mean just coming to terms the more reprehensible aspects of your personality. It also means realizing that you--you in particular, Simon Darkshade's alterego--are an exceptional person.

I suggest eastern-style meditation. Just you and your head. Scary, confusing, but in the end, absolutely exhilirating.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Thank you all for your kind words of support and advice. I am resolved to see this through, even more so now that it is day. I will keep you posted on how it go's, but I have a cunning plan which even now I am implementing.
I probably used the wrong words when I said compulsive liar. Rather, I was refering to the habitual spinning of bullfeathers that you do when drunk, that makes you cringe afterwards at its utter outrageousness. I can handle that as well.
I am going to go it cold turkey for now. I am not sure whether to aim for complete abstinence, or for the ability to partake in moderation, but I will think on the matter.
I have the three crucial factors of guerrilla warfare on my side- Time, Space and Will. Thus, I will win, not on my own, but with the help of others.
I don't really have that any drinking buddies, but rather mates who also drink. They understood before when I quit drinking, and they will again.
The things that really helped me see the problem was the fact I was spending large amounts of money while out, and smoking a pack also while out. Not drinking will also help me save money and stop smoking, which is good.
I am going to spend some time thinking, rather than drinking.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[BlueMonday]

I'd love to help you out, but unfortuneatly I've contracted this thing that prevents me from dishing out good advice lately...It's called...um...what the name of it again...uh...oh that's it...I'm an *******.

But in all seriousness, therapy is probably the best way to deal with this problem. AA is a good thing to try out, but it doesn't work for everybody. Professional counseling is available too, but that could cost you some serious schazole. Sheer willpower can do it, but that depends on you.

Part of it also is the seriousness of your problem. Using alcohol as social Astro-glide isn't necessarily acholism, but it does lend itself to being a problem. If social acceptance is the only use for alcohol you have in your life then I'd recommend therapy by a psychiatrist since your problem might not be alcoholism but rather social anxiety, low self image, or a host of other psychological problems for which a physician could cure.

Of course, if you are a serious alcoholic (being that you cannot function at all without your blessed booze) then AA does wonders. Alcholism is a disease which has only one cure; absolute sobriety. Alcoholism should be dealt with by professionals and support groups (both in tandem have very good rates of success).

I think that the first step you should take is to go out and talk to a doctor or a leader you trust and find out what exactly you have to do. Most of us on this forum have not dealt with a problem of this magnitude and in all honesty you should not take any advice that is mere text and voices in your head as solid advice. You need to talk to someone who knows about this stuff and you need to do it ASAP.

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<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/image_uploads/goodbye3.jpg" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">I take every day one beer at a time; every beer one sip at a time.</FONT c>

 

[KnightOfNi]

Simon,

Firstly, congratulations for admitting to having a problem. I have several friends who are like you "social alcoholics" -or do you drink at home too ?- and don't admit to their problem.
But when you admit to it, it's the first step to recovery. I used to drink and smoke in excess and even took other stuff...
Now I have a healthy life style although I indulge from time to time, life still can be fun without the drugs. Alcohol is a hard drug,it can do a lot of damage.
Can you stop socializing with these drinking mates ? Stop and think, are they worth seeing if all you do is meet to drink and smoke in excess ? It helped me not to be confronted to the temptation.
You need support from someone during your recovery, talk to your doctor your wife, your family.
You need a radical change in your lifestyle.I agree with andycapp
Where there is will there is a way
You can email me anytime.

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Ni !