poor Jake.
While I understand your frustration, I still think you need to work your way through.
I was the one suggesting going for domination first because it's the most "allrounder" way to go.
Obviously I was a bit too optimistic.
I'll try to not write too much, since it doesn't seem to be what you like most

.
However, a few further hints :
- Don't be over ambitious. Going for domination in 2049 is good enough for a start.
- The "allrounder" thing is double edged. Meaning you can't win this before you have grasped all aspects of the game.
A "basic facts of the game" quizz for you :
- what is the output of a riverside grassland farm?
- what is the cost of capturing a size 10 city, 20 tiles away from your capital when you already have 3 ? (I don't know the answer, but I know the components of the cost. Do you?)
- what can I do when my size 6 capital has 2 unhappy faces?
- what happens when my city has a unhealthy face?
- what is the cost of a library?
- what is the gain of a library, when your city is size 4, has 1 domestic trade route, and is working 1 irrigated (=riverside) wheat , 1 grassland copper mine, 1 cow pasture and 1 plains hill?
- Tokugawa doesn't want to open borders with me. What can I do?