If You Were A Dictator, What Would Be The Secret Of Your Sucess?

[CurtSibling]

It’s a new year and it’s high time for a new Dictator poll!

ENEMY ACE ™ has a new conundrum for you…

IF YOU WERE A DICTATOR, WHAT WOULD BE THE SECRET OF YOUR SUCESS?

Now, this may seem easy to answer, but some cunning ploys are needed
To survive as a dictator these days! Let’s hear them!

As always, ENEMY ACE ™ will give you some poll choices,
But if they don’t suit you, tell us what you do to win the hearts
of your witless subjects!

Get surviving!

 

[Sixchan]

I'd be the top Guiarist in the land, while also being the hero in the revolution!

When the real hero tries to talk about rebellion, they'll think of me and love me more!

 

[Mikoyan]

I have an assortment of troops to bully my foes:
Soldiers

I give my soldiers the simple jobs.

Cavaliers

For stomping down large crowds!

Elite Soldiers

For the harder jobs

Barghest Knight

These shock troops are only put in when it is absolutely necessary!

Fist Assassin/Sniper

For when I want someone out of the way quickly, efficiently and stealthy!

 

[dannyevilcat]

I would issue a secretly wiretapped tabby cat to every household. Not only would I be able to monitor everyone, but I would also be able to point out that although much of the human population is disappearing, more cats are finding good homes.

And kids love them. As someone really evil (I'll let you guess who) once said: "Your children belong to us already".

By the way, if anyone wants to adopt a tabby cat, just ask.

 

[Blackadder]

I often find subliminal messages to order people to go work works for me. However, dictators can not lag in technology. Scientists all over my realm are often ordered to find more ways (through subliminal messages, of course) to control all the populace (Henceforth known as drones). The invention of the neural subliminal message repeater helps increase the drones work efficentcy and make them happy, placid workers, but the buffons need 'sleep'. This will soon be rectified!

 

[The Balrog]

Originally posted by Mikoyan
I have an assortment of troops to bully my foes:
Soldiers

I give my soldiers the simple jobs.

Cavaliers

For stomping down large crowds!

Elite Soldiers

For the harder jobs

Barghest Knight

These shock troops are only put in when it is absolutely necessary!

Fist Assassin/Sniper

For when I want someone out of the way quickly, efficiently and stealthy!

Ha, do you call that a assassin!
This is all i can show, as my assassins are highly classified.

 

[CurtSibling]

Wow!

Balrog I seen that pic in the Jimx Gallery!
It's awesome! Is it your work?

I love that art-style!

 

[Ohwell]

My pure heart of evil doesn't need a plan!

Well, actually, my fine inter-species guard would do just fine at keeping the populace on their toes, if I hadn't eliminated them with my magic pellets! Yes, magic pellets. But then again, my Stalin mustache isn't half bad!

Actually, I am such a horrible dictator I let the citizens kill themselves to end their suffering! Now that is evil...
The remaining people would like me enough not to, so, I have a purely evil empire!

 

[CurtSibling]

Mikoyan, Or anyone,

How do you paste multiple images into the text?
without using the attachment?

 

[Ohwell]

You use the IMG button, I think. I could be wrong...

 

[The Balrog]

Originally posted by CurtSibling
Wow!

Balrog I seen that pic in the Jimx Gallery!
It's awesome! Is it your work?

I love that art-style!

i wish it was

 

[CurtSibling]

There's some really bizarre but cool anime style stuff on
The Jimx page, some rather saucy furry cat women too,

Weird but cool!

:crazyeyes

 

[The Balrog]

I quite understand.

 

[CurtSibling]

Behold my loyal foot soldiers, rushing out to do my bidding!

 

[The Balrog]

Originally posted by CurtSibling
Behold my loyal foot soldiers, rushing out to do my bidding!

I enve/y you.

 

[CurtSibling]

And always looking to win the hearts of my terrified subjects...

I have issued this friendly propaganda poster of myself,
pictured at work with my pet dog, max.

These posters will be displayed from the parapets of my
Bavarian palace and placed in the salt mines and factories
of the Enemy Ace Empire to boost loyalty and fealty!

 

[amadeus]

Mostly leading the revolution and a bit of despotic rule.

 

[Apollo]

I put drugs in the water supply, and then after all my subjects were thoroughly addicted, I stopped giving it to them in the water. Now the only way they can get their fix is to obey my command! <-----Demonic laughter

Of course some of the other methods might work. W Bush tried that "Sublimidable Message" thing, and look where it got him! An approval rating of over 100%

 

[Mikoyan]

Bane Priest

For Brainwashing and casting various nasty spells and curses on my poor foes.

Mercenaries

They do intelligence gathering and do some dirty work too.
(Actually I always send these guys into battle first, so i can watch them get slaughtered )

Warlocks

These guys are mean... Fireball, Chain Lightning, Re-Load

P.S! Curt, are those footsoldiers of yours for hire?

 

[FearlessLeader2]

Originally posted by CurtSibling
Behold my loyal foot soldiers, rushing out to do my bidding!

Ah, my Brute Squad! You will return them when you're done, yes? And not too roughed up I hope, I have another little job for them when they get back...

FYI- That was the cover of an April edition of Dragon Magazine or Dungeon Adventures, but I don't remember the year. TSR often uses an April issue to release comedic features acquired during the past year, and the stuff is usually hilarious. I think that may have been on a Dungeon Adventures mag that had an adventure in it where the heroes of the story were some member of an orc tribe that had fallen out of grace with the chieftan, and had been sent on a quest to steal a magic drinking horn from a giant. But I could be wrong. Still, it was a funny story.