Igor's less talented cousin, by the 45th degree, descended from the common Homo Stupidus Lazyius's turn.
some may count this a blessing, some count it as more than 2150 years before salvation.
preturn? whats a turn? hear rumours of a spinning magic known in the far west...
we like shiny things. we find the the bubbly to the north makes many shines, so the people go there to "work"
1- Fire Cracker Archer gets his name when a big pile of rocks decide to spit hot rock at him. he responds with a shower of arrows, securing a first victory over nature. he also sees a bunch of guys lurking nearby. they must have thrown the rocks! they must die!
the people also want clolwns, the clowns. we act smart and bring in the dancing horses circus. it will cost us a bit, but soon we hope the wanderlust the circus always bringds will make some people go away. maybe to the shiny stones in the mountains?
2- the circus is very bad. many people are disgusted with me and leave town. "good riddance" i shout after them. and then remind them of the shinies.
we see many mighty warriors and hear tales of war. we must equal them so i convince some old guy to start building a troophouse, just like the zulu have.
we find strange smelly stuff in the north.
Fire Cracker beats up those guys. i reward him 25 shiny nuggets.
3- the stupid malcontents (heard its some russin word meaning happy people) meet a russian warrior. he is standing on thier land. but they will wait for him to pass. he his big and smells of sheep.
4- the russian moves. so do we.
5- we hear of INDIANS. they must be very powerful. they are building something called an ORACLE?
the Zulu think they are smarter and copy the indians. not so smart if they copy, no?
and the spitting rock is so angry with FireCracker that it blows itself up. very nice show

Shiny Hill is built. it has a wonderful view of the lake and the shiny mountain. we start a worker there.
(see, i told you they will come back. they all come back)
6- the people of Igorpolis are very upset with the view Shiny Hill has. i think some would like to leave soon. we give that army dude a new hat, made of fur and tell him to plan a new settlement nearby.
we meet a VERY happy "man" wearing pink clothes. he said he was from china. figues. all those foriegn customs... disgusting. but he looks smart...
7- we hear rumors that some tribes are so advanced that they call themselves PRIVATEERS. truly wonderous.
8- we meet a very old monk out we we are running around. he thinks we are very funny. and then treaches us a secret.
a secret that will allow us to make pointy sticks and bighelmets made of some shiny stuff called IRON. interesting.
he discreetly suggets we study the round thing, as it is the latest fashion in Zululand and India too.
9- hearing rumours of this Iron stuff makes people run away in fear. foolish. i hope they find a new home soon.
we hire the cousin of that army guy. too many big hairy people are around.
10- Fire Cracker finds a nice bar in the snow. he gets in only to find his old buddys there. he beats them up again, and takes 25 nuggets back home.
we act stupid. again. walk some more in search of the shiny iron. we see that the indians have some.
we see two such stones, far far away to the NE.
no iron for us, dudes