What generation are you from? It doesn't mean anything explicit.flamer = someone who insults and argues in the forums.
Now, there was an 80's term 'flame' (or a 'hot flame'), which meant a guy a girl really liked (or vice versa).
jokes - keep them clean this time!!!!!
- Thread starter andyo
- Start date
What generation are you from? It doesn't mean anything explicit.flamer = someone who insults and argues in the forums.
Now, there was an 80's term 'flame' (or a 'hot flame'), which meant a guy a girl really liked (or vice versa).
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
i am 102
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
i am 15 n its american slang by the way young people teenagers
De Lorimier
North American Scum
Back on topic...you know...jokes:
> 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
> 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
> 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
> 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
> 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
> 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.
>
> AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the
>smaller your balls become.
> 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
> 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
> 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
> 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
> 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
> 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.
>
> AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the
>smaller your balls become.
GenghisK
...
A lady walks into a bridal store and starts browsing through the racks of gowns. The clerk sees her, walks over, and says, "Good Afternoon, Ma'am. Is it you that is getting married?"
The lady smiles and replies, "Hello, and yes, it is me!"
The clerk says, "Congratulations! I will be happy to assist you in making your day special and memorable. A lady's first wedding is such a special event."
The lady answers, "Thank you, but this is my fourth wedding."
The clerk, looking concerned, states, "Ma'am, I don't wish to be rude, but you have been looking at the white bridal gowns. These are traditionally used only for first weddings, to symbolize the purity and chasteness of the virginal bride. Perhaps...."
The lady interrupts her and says, "I know all that. And despite this being my fourth marriage, I am still a virgin, and entitled to one of these lovely gowns."
The clerk looks at the lady with a disbelieving stare, and says, "Ma'am, do you expect me to believe that you have been married three times already, and you are still a virgin?"
The customer smiles and states, "Yes, and it really is quite simple. My first husband was a psychologist, and he just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist, and he just wanted to look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector....GOD, I MISS HIM!"
The lady smiles and replies, "Hello, and yes, it is me!"
The clerk says, "Congratulations! I will be happy to assist you in making your day special and memorable. A lady's first wedding is such a special event."
The lady answers, "Thank you, but this is my fourth wedding."
The clerk, looking concerned, states, "Ma'am, I don't wish to be rude, but you have been looking at the white bridal gowns. These are traditionally used only for first weddings, to symbolize the purity and chasteness of the virginal bride. Perhaps...."
The lady interrupts her and says, "I know all that. And despite this being my fourth marriage, I am still a virgin, and entitled to one of these lovely gowns."
The clerk looks at the lady with a disbelieving stare, and says, "Ma'am, do you expect me to believe that you have been married three times already, and you are still a virgin?"
The customer smiles and states, "Yes, and it really is quite simple. My first husband was a psychologist, and he just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist, and he just wanted to look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector....GOD, I MISS HIM!"
Wolfe Tone
Which Way Did He Go?
In a similar vein:
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself.
The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.
And the third was in Tech Support, and kept saying "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now...."
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
Little Tommy came in from school and walked straight past his mum and went upstairs. His mum thought it strange so when Tommys dad came home she asked him to go up stairs and have a man-to-man chat with Tommy. So his dad wanted to know why he was a bit off and Tommy hesitated but eventually blurted out he was in love with his teacher. Of course dad admitted he once had a crush on his teacher when he was at school, so it wasnt something to be embarrassed about. So then Tommy admitted that it had got to the point that they had made love that afternoon, his dad was taken aback but felt proud in a 'Thats my boy' sort of way. Dad said 'wow, you did better than I did boy, why are you so upset'?
Tommy replied ' because I couldn't ride my bike home'!!!!!
Tommy replied ' because I couldn't ride my bike home'!!!!!
Daaraa
King
Reading the above jokes reminded me of my brother's favorite joke:
What do you call a bar bouncer at a gay bar?
A Flame Thrower.
What do you call a bar bouncer at a gay bar?
A Flame Thrower.
Lt. 'Killer' M.
Deity
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Messages
- 7,475
my third husband was a 'alternative mental therapist' - all he wanted to do was meditate about it.
but now I am marrying a lawyer - so I *KNOW* I'll get screwed!
During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat. He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down.
Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her. "Could I please sit in that seat?" he asked.
The lady was insulted. "You bloody Americans are so rude", she said, "can't you see my dog is sitting there"?
He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat. He found himself back at the same place.
"Lady I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down", he said.
The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude you are arrogant".
He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said, "Lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time. Could I please sit there and hold your dog?"
The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious."
With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down.The lady was speechless. An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. "Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong ***** out of the window."
Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her. "Could I please sit in that seat?" he asked.
The lady was insulted. "You bloody Americans are so rude", she said, "can't you see my dog is sitting there"?
He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat. He found himself back at the same place.
"Lady I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down", he said.
The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude you are arrogant".
He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said, "Lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time. Could I please sit there and hold your dog?"
The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious."
With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down.The lady was speechless. An older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. "Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady's description of you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong ***** out of the window."
GenghisK
...
Absolutely true for the wrong b*** 
Unfortunately, there're so many people anywhere. Some are really nice and deserve all their due respects but some others are just stupid childish grandpa/mas...
Unfortunately, there're so many people anywhere. Some are really nice and deserve all their due respects but some others are just stupid childish grandpa/mas...
Dominix
Warlord
Two Japanese business men and a Canadian are sitting in a sauna. The Canadian looks up when he hears a cell phone ringing. He looks around for the source of the sound but cant find it. One of the Japanese men begins talking into his wrist. The man finishes talking and explains to the Canadian "I have a cell phone implanted in my wrist." This amazes the Canadian....
He then hears another beeping... the Canadian looks around for the source and sees the other Japanese looking at a small LCD panel in his arm... The Japanese explains "I had a pager implanted in my arm." This is too much for the Canadian. He gets up and goes to the bathroom. He comes back a few minutes later with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ass. The Japanese politely points this out to him. The Canadian looks down and says "Oh! I'm getting a fax!"
He then hears another beeping... the Canadian looks around for the source and sees the other Japanese looking at a small LCD panel in his arm... The Japanese explains "I had a pager implanted in my arm." This is too much for the Canadian. He gets up and goes to the bathroom. He comes back a few minutes later with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ass. The Japanese politely points this out to him. The Canadian looks down and says "Oh! I'm getting a fax!"
Eliahu the prophet stands in the street and starts shouting.
First he shouts "Now a red car will pass", and a few seconds later, a red car passes.
After that he shouts "Now a biker will pass", and a few seconds later, a biker passes.
After that he shouts "Now 6 pigeons will pass", and a few seconds later, 6 pigeons actually do pass.
A man comes to him and tells him "You must tell me how to become a prophet like you!".
Eliahu tells him: "Ok, you'll have to come to my house so I can teach you".
The two people go to the house, and Eliahu tells the man "First, before you can become a prophet, we must oil you".
So the man says, okay, takes his clothes off and Eliahu starts oiling him.
while being oiled, the man notices that Eliahu starts focusing on his @ss.
The man then asks him: "What are you going to do, **** me?!?!"
Eliahu answers: "You see, you are becoming a prophet already"
First he shouts "Now a red car will pass", and a few seconds later, a red car passes.
After that he shouts "Now a biker will pass", and a few seconds later, a biker passes.
After that he shouts "Now 6 pigeons will pass", and a few seconds later, 6 pigeons actually do pass.
A man comes to him and tells him "You must tell me how to become a prophet like you!".
Eliahu tells him: "Ok, you'll have to come to my house so I can teach you".
The two people go to the house, and Eliahu tells the man "First, before you can become a prophet, we must oil you".
So the man says, okay, takes his clothes off and Eliahu starts oiling him.
while being oiled, the man notices that Eliahu starts focusing on his @ss.
The man then asks him: "What are you going to do, **** me?!?!"
Eliahu answers: "You see, you are becoming a prophet already"
JoeM
Imperator
A Portuguese guy is in a motel room with his secretary, breaking his vows. His mobile phone rings, and when he answers it's his wife on the line.
"How did you find me?!" He exclaims...
* * *
Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman and a Welshman are flying on a plane.
No.1 engine blows out.
No.2 & 3 blow out.
And finally number 4 goes up in flames.
They get together to discuss the perilous situation and finally the Englishman stands up "Gentlemen, we have only three parachutes" he says hauling the three packs in front of them.
"As the English created the largest Empire the world has seen, responsible for Newtons's Laws, etc. I think I deserve one!" He grabs a pack and leaps from the aircraft.
Then there were three.
The Scotsman stands up "As the great Engineers of the Empire, we are responsible for the great bridges and railways that the Empire was founded on, and so, I deserve one". He grabs a pack and leaps from the doomed flight.
Then there were two.
Taff looks at Paddy. "Well, your a nice enough man, so it's only fair that you should take the last one, Paddy. I've made my peace with God and I'm ready to meet my maker."
Paddy replies "Don't be worrying yourself Taff. The Englishman there jumped out with me lunchbox."
* * *
Did you here about the Irish shoplifter?
Found dead under Tesco's.
"How did you find me?!" He exclaims...
* * *
Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman and a Welshman are flying on a plane.
No.1 engine blows out.
No.2 & 3 blow out.
And finally number 4 goes up in flames.
They get together to discuss the perilous situation and finally the Englishman stands up "Gentlemen, we have only three parachutes" he says hauling the three packs in front of them.
"As the English created the largest Empire the world has seen, responsible for Newtons's Laws, etc. I think I deserve one!" He grabs a pack and leaps from the aircraft.
Then there were three.
The Scotsman stands up "As the great Engineers of the Empire, we are responsible for the great bridges and railways that the Empire was founded on, and so, I deserve one". He grabs a pack and leaps from the doomed flight.
Then there were two.
Taff looks at Paddy. "Well, your a nice enough man, so it's only fair that you should take the last one, Paddy. I've made my peace with God and I'm ready to meet my maker."
Paddy replies "Don't be worrying yourself Taff. The Englishman there jumped out with me lunchbox."
* * *
Did you here about the Irish shoplifter?
Found dead under Tesco's.
JoeM
Imperator
Oh, oh;
Impression of a dog on a bonfire:
Woof!
Impression of a dog on a bonfire:
Woof!
Zcylen
Moonlight Rambler
I was wondering why this thread stopped
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumblebee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation.
The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said, "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed.
The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud.
The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said, "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed.
The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud.
The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters all saying the same thing.
"You can have mine."
The next day he received a hundred letters all saying the same thing.
"You can have mine."
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
A brunette and blonde where on an elevator, a man came in the elevator and stood in front of them for a few floors, they noticed he had a bad case of dandruff. When he got off the elevator and left the brunette turned to the blonde and said I guess we should have gave him some Head and Shoulders, the blonde looked at the brunette and said what is shoulders?
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