Steve Winer
Shock the monkey...
Hear about the new tickle me elmo? It gets 2 test tickles before it leaves the factory.
jokes - keep them clean this time!!!!!
- Thread starter andyo
- Start date
GenghisK
...
Ok, want a clean one?
What's the difference between men and oysters? (ask a woman)
No difference, you gotta s**k a lot of them before finding a pearl... Ahem. Sorry
What's the difference between men and oysters? (ask a woman)
No difference, you gotta s**k a lot of them before finding a pearl... Ahem. Sorry
GenghisK
...
A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He does't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator:
"O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?"
The operator, trying to calm him says:
"Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's dead." There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!
The redneck comes back on the line and says:
"OK, now what?"
The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator:
"O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?"
The operator, trying to calm him says:
"Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's dead." There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!
The redneck comes back on the line and says:
"OK, now what?"
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
Two cowboy dudes were drinking in a bar & talking about sex.
The 1st cowboy says he likes to do it rodeo style.
The 2nd cowboy asks how do you do it rodeo style?
The 1st cowboy explains, "Get her in bed on all fours, doggie style & whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes it this way too." Then try to hold on for 8 seconds."
The 1st cowboy says he likes to do it rodeo style.
The 2nd cowboy asks how do you do it rodeo style?
The 1st cowboy explains, "Get her in bed on all fours, doggie style & whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes it this way too." Then try to hold on for 8 seconds."
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
This guy walks into a bar and orders a double. After the bartender hands him the drink, he pours it down and orders another. The bartender says, Hey, pal... what are we celebrating!?
The blowjob guys says, My FIRST!
Alright! says the bartender, Have one on the house!
The guys says, Keep'em coming. I´ve just GOT to get this taste out of my mouth!!!"
The blowjob guys says, My FIRST!
Alright! says the bartender, Have one on the house!
The guys says, Keep'em coming. I´ve just GOT to get this taste out of my mouth!!!"
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
its american i think used as a nickname for gays pffffft stupid aint it
gr8ful wes
Deity
an Indian(native american) goes into a bar. Points at the bar and says"ug, big black bug on bar"
Bartender says " squash it"
and the indian replies "No, Big Black Bug"
Bartender says " squash it"
and the indian replies "No, Big Black Bug"
duke o' york
It don't mean a thing....
Er, no. A flamer is someone who posts inflammatory remarks on forums like this one. Basically they post whatever they think will get a rise from other people. It's not an enviable status to be honest, and AoA has a very effective extinguisher.
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
Frank was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have sex." Frank decided to with the latter.
Several months later, still outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find another giant bear standing there. The bear said, "Admit it, Frank. You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Several months later, still outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find another giant bear standing there. The bear said, "Admit it, Frank. You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
If a woman is uncomfortable watching you wank, do you think,
A) You need more time together
B) She's a ****ing prude
OR
C) She should have sat elsewhere on the bus!
A) You need more time together
B) She's a ****ing prude
OR
C) She should have sat elsewhere on the bus!
Panda
Metal head
>>A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the
>>other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He
>>notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not
>>from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the abbot to
question
>>this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first
>>copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be
>>continued in all of the subsequent copies. The Abbot says, "We have been
>>copying
>>from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son".
>>
>>So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the
>>original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened
>>for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
>>
>>Eventually the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for
>>him. He sees him banging his head against the wall. His forehead is all
>>bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks
>>the old
>>abbot, "What's wrong, father?" In a choking voice, the old abbot replies,
>>"The
>>word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"
>>other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He
>>notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not
>>from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the abbot to
question
>>this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first
>>copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be
>>continued in all of the subsequent copies. The Abbot says, "We have been
>>copying
>>from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son".
>>
>>So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the
>>original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened
>>for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
>>
>>Eventually the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for
>>him. He sees him banging his head against the wall. His forehead is all
>>bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks
>>the old
>>abbot, "What's wrong, father?" In a choking voice, the old abbot replies,
>>"The
>>word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"
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