All of us here are equally human (people) but we do have different values that make us distinct in perspective and way of life. At least, speaking for myself and probably most of you there, I’ll be frankly honest. In Western, individual-centered societies, where self-priority is placed at the top, it might be hard to imagine the perks of getting married. But for me and my values, marriage offers huge benefits without it, my life would feel incomplete.
You may have your parents, sisters, or best friends, but with marriage, you gain a partner who knows you better than your own parents. You're together through ups and downs, observing, enjoying, and knowing each other on a daily basis. You form an incredible bond—it’s no longer just about love or romance. It becomes something much deeper: partnership, mercy, support, comradeship. She's basically my other half, almost literally.
A conflict between best friends especially when honor and dignity are involved can dissolve the relationship, I've seen a lot of that. But in marriage, there’s mercy, tolerance, and understanding. You’re willing to overlook things that, if they happened with others, you wouldn’t even blink before loosening or even cutting the bond. And that’s just one aspect of marriage: the partner. I haven’t even talked about the children that come from it, the brothers you gain, new parents, cousins, uncles from her father’s or mother’s side. It opens up a whole new world and horizon. In essence, it’s not just a bond between two people, it creates a bond between two previously estranged communities, who now become relatives. It blows my mind.
Of course, our marriage process is also different. As practicing Muslims, we don’t go through marriage by flirting or “hitting on” someone. After I declared my intent, we focused mostly on our vision for family, education, worldview, and so on. We’re hardly similar in character if anything, we’re almost opposites. My wife is much more reserved and cold, while I’m more impulsive. But when I realized we shared the same values, I found I also shared similar values with her family in general, fruits will not fell far away from its tree. Her mom has an anger issue, but that’s a different problem, I still love her anyway.
These bonds offer huge benefits in many other areas too for instance, business. Most of my business after I quit my job came through my brother-in-law’s friends, who needed things I could provide. And if you live in a place where the government is dysfunctional or insanely corrupt, family bonds become not just a great perk, but a necessity. I can’t imagine how an individualized society would manage societal chaos. But if that ever happened in my place, I’d stick with my family and brothers.
