Methods of Capital Punishment

[Perfection]

Hanging, a dollar of rope, and a sturdy tree and you can have hundreds of executions

 

[nixon]

Crikey, so much to choose from! Not fair, Simon!

Shooting is fair and swift, so I'll opt for that one.

 

[Perfection]

And waste money on bullets?

 

[h4ppy]

Hang them from the highest limb.

 

[Wyrmshadow]

As George Carlin once said, Pay-Per-View Prime Time Cruxifiction.

 

[bobgote]

It depends what you're trying to do. Quick and merciful - shot to back of head. quick and not-so-merciful - fed to piranhas
As an example to others - hanging or impaling.

Or my personal favourite, the one where they wrap barbed wire around an impaling spike, shove it into the intended victim, then remove the spike, take hold of the barbed wire and slowly withdraw it. Ever so nasty.

Originally posted by Dumb pothead
Steamrollers a good one. I read somewhere that Uday Hussein used to have people lowered slowly into woodchippers. Technology must have revolutionized the slow painful death industry.

oooh that's a good one.

Originally posted by allhailIndia
How about being made to watch Adam Sandler movies, esp Billy Madison and of course, Dud, Where's my Car? over and over and over again? If he does'nt die from brain haemorrhaging, he will probably choke himself with his own hands.

Seriously, from a purely economic point of view, a hanging is cheapest and most cost efficient, plus it is re-usable.

too cruel. far too cruel. you are a cruel, cruel person.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

All the imaginative options are most interesting, but in terms of cost, efficiency and effect, the rope wins out. It also has a certain class to it that the bullet to the back of the head doesn't quite approach.
And if we are really after cruelty, ye can't go past Leif.

 

[Knowze Gungk]

I'd just like to point out that death from a bullet through the head, usually takes longer than most people assume.

Anyway, I reckon an execution should be as random as an accident. The victim gets to spin the "Wheel of Misfortune", which contains no less than Two Hundred segments, each stating a different method of execution. Some'll be quick & messless and others more...entertaining.

 

[bobgote]

Originally posted by Knowze Gungk
Anyway, I reckon an execution should be as random as an accident. The victim gets to spin the "Wheel of Misfortune", which contains no less than Two Hundred segments, each stating a different method of execution. Some'll be quick & messless and others more...entertaining.

*votes for this one*

 

[allhailIndia]

Force feed him Naga Jolokia(the world's hottest chillies) chillies till his eyes pop out and his innards come coursing through his head.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Whilst feeding the condemned oriental food is a cruel punishment, it simply does not compare to the class of :
"That you be drawn on a hurdle to the place of execution where you shall be hanged by the neck and being alive cut down, your privy members shall be cut off and your bowels taken out and burned before you, your head severed from your body and your body divided into four quarters to be disposed of at the King’s pleasure.”

Quite ironic that hanging can be the least cruel and, with slight modifications, the most cruel method. A good noose, a measured rope, a sturdy gallows - what more fun could a man ask for?

A bullet to the back of the head which destroys the medulla and top of the spinal cord, as well as cavitating most of the cranium is fairly effective and swift. Certainly it does not take 11 minutes, nor half an hour to prepare.

 

[floppa21]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
All the imaginative options are most interesting, but in terms of cost, efficiency and effect, the rope wins out. It also has a certain class to it that the bullet to the back of the head doesn't quite approach.
And if we are really after cruelty, ye can't go past Leif.

The Stabbing Chair. Cost efficient and quite effective.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

No, that requires oiling, cleaning, and additional erection costs. Not to mention being both too easy and at the same time too messy. Alas, being the only one taking one's topic seriously is a burden one must bear.

 

[Aphex_Twin]

How about being forced to quit Civ? You will kill yourself from withdrawal. Case settled.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Well...except for the fact that not all, or even many of the condemned would be playing it in the first place... Could we keep the replies at least semi-serious?

 

[allhailIndia]

How about the Hitler Anti-Traitor version of hanging.... from a meat hook with Piano Wire!!!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Nice for propaganda and as an example, but for everyday humdrum occasions, it simply is overkill. Plus it takes too long.

 

[floppa21]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
No, that requires oiling, cleaning, and additional erection costs. Not to mention being both too easy and at the same time too messy. Alas, being the only one taking one's topic seriously is a burden one must bear.

Oiling? I think you misunderstand... A simple wooden chair. Heck, an old office chair. Victim/Criminal/Anti-Darky is strapped to chair with leather straps or rope, matters not which. Someone walks up and stabs them. Number of times is discretional, but will continue until Victim/Criminal/Anti-Darky is deceased. No cleaning is necessary for obvious reasons. Cheap, effective, cost efficient. Hell, you could strap someone in the chair and have them wait all day until the cleaning crew/executioners arrive for the night.

 

[CurtSibling]

I say SARS-infected sharks, with vinegar-squirting teeth and sandpaper skin are still the most entertaining method!

(so far!)

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Too amateurish, and prone to stuff ups. It has no system to it and is variable. Further, stabbing is not as efficient compared to other means.
Keeping them in a chair all day is a waste of resources, and hanging takes less time than the strapping and stabbing.
And, the general gist of the latter part of the reply was that this was intended as an examination of the topic that was generally serious, with appropriate dark humour in smaller sections.

As a side note, would any of those who voted for injection care to discuss/justify their position?