Silverblade
Lord of Vikings
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
One line philosophy
- Thread starter onejayhawk
- Start date
onejayhawk
Afflicted with reason
What gets me is that it makes sense if you look at it cross eyed. He lived on a circle, past the fork, so either way works out the same.
Where ever you go, there you are.
J
allan2
Gone Fishing
I've read that somewhere before--I'll bet it was in a Heinlein novel. Sure sounds like Heinlein!
"Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and slow dancing."
"Nobody ever gets exactly what they want and that's beautiful"--They Might Be Giants
"When I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I'm the toughest motherf*cker in the valley."--forget where I heard that
"Cocaine is God's way of telling you you have too much money!"--was that Richard Prior? I forget, but it was some comedian
"I don't condone beating your wife. I CAN UNDERSTAND IT! But I don't condone it." --Sam Kinnison
And finally:
"Beer is God's way of telling us he loves us and wants us to be happy."--Benjamin Franklin
MrPresident
Anglo-Saxon Liberal
You do realise I was talking about the cutlery don't you?
Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries.
--Everett McKinley Dirksen
Life is just one damned thing after another.
--Elbert Hubbard
You are the same today that you are going to be five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.
--Charles Jones
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
--Unknown
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
--Sir Winston Churchill
You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
--Joe Lewis
Shabbaman
rebuffing the rebels
"D'oh!"
-- Homer Simpson
It tells all possible stories. All of them!
-- Homer Simpson
It tells all possible stories. All of them!
ferenginar
Grand Nagus
MrPresident
maybe you didn't make it clear, how about
If you come to a fork in the road, take it - and wonder where the Knife is.
Avoid slow horses, and fast women.
A hand in the bird...
I'm not sure if this counts as a philosphy but I like it anyway
"Every rule has ban exception, and this is the exception that proves the rule."
ferenginar 49
maybe you didn't make it clear, how about
If you come to a fork in the road, take it - and wonder where the Knife is.
Avoid slow horses, and fast women.
A hand in the bird...
I'm not sure if this counts as a philosphy but I like it anyway
"Every rule has ban exception, and this is the exception that proves the rule."
ferenginar 49
"the exception that proves the rule" - ferenginar
<pedant>The word proves in this context means 'tests' - the exception that tests the rule. Sadly, this has been taken by people with no grasp of the nuances of language, to mean 'an exception that literally proves the rule is true'.
Anyone who uses the phrase in this sense really doesn't understand the words coming out of their mouth.</pedant>
<pedant>The word proves in this context means 'tests' - the exception that tests the rule. Sadly, this has been taken by people with no grasp of the nuances of language, to mean 'an exception that literally proves the rule is true'.
Anyone who uses the phrase in this sense really doesn't understand the words coming out of their mouth.</pedant>
insurgent
Exhausted
Live and let live.
MrPresident
Anglo-Saxon Liberal
I'm sorry I'm not American. My humour is underestimated to the point where it is non-existant to the untrained ear (or in this case eye). The whole point of the saying is that it was the conventional meaning and it has the unconvential and therefore humourous other meaning.
I can't believe it has taken me this long to remember to post this,
"Always look on the bright side of life."
ferenginar
Grand Nagus
MrPresident, I'm sorry I am not american either, and I quite agree with you. Something that polymath seems to have missed.
ferenginar 47
ferenginar 47
Hitro
Feistus Raclettus
Two basic concepts of reality: 
"One man's death is a tragedy, one million's death is a statistic" - Joseph Stalin.
"Football is a game with 22 men and in the end the Germans always win" - Gary Lineker
"One man's death is a tragedy, one million's death is a statistic" - Joseph Stalin.
"Football is a game with 22 men and in the end the Germans always win" - Gary Lineker
onejayhawk
Afflicted with reason
Well actually not. The humor is tha the expected meaning is impossible and that there is no obvious "workable" meaning. Yet the sentance conveys information on a meta level. But if you have to explain it, its not really funny.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Groucho Marx
Thisone fits your criteria. Thanks for reminding me.
Humor comes in three types:
1) The unexpected juxtaposition of dissimilar architypes;
2) The paradoxical substitution of inconsistent characteristics;
3) Pie in the face.
I dont know who said this. I'm faking it.
ApocalypseKurtz
Man, myth, legend
I like "Life's a b****, then you die. F*** it, let's get high."
MrPresident
Anglo-Saxon Liberal
I disagreed. It is funny. But I had to explain it because someone was too stupid (or something less offensive) to understand the joke. That is not my fault. That is not the joke's fault. A lot of British humour needs to be explained to others (*cough Americans) but that doesn't mean it is not funny. It purely depends on your audience and not the humour as it whether you need to explain something.
I prefer, 'Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it is too dark to read'. I suppose it could be described as word play. Either way it is funny.
'Life is like a box of chocolates, it is bad for your health'.
Perfection
The Great Head.
Those who live in glass houses should go to the bathroom in the basement
Smaasnekje
Should be medicated...
Dont worry be happy, we are gonna die anyway
Ohwell
Deity
in the dark al....
J/K
J/K
Perfection
The Great Head.
If it ain't broke it doesn't have enough features
Håkan Eriksson
Commander of the Swedes.
"It was not by gold or by silver, but by labor, that all the wealth of the world was originally purchased." - Adam Smith
Anyone with a part-time job works full-time for half salary. - Denise D. Lynn
The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you find out you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." - Albert Einstein
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein
"I can't see how not wanting to blow up the world is un-American" - William Winpisinger, President of the International Association of M
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." - Mark 10:25. (The Bible)
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts without sufficient capital to form a corporation. - Howard Scott
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it. - Henry Thomas Buckle
Anyone with a part-time job works full-time for half salary. - Denise D. Lynn
The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you find out you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." - Albert Einstein
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein
"I can't see how not wanting to blow up the world is un-American" - William Winpisinger, President of the International Association of M
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." - Mark 10:25. (The Bible)
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts without sufficient capital to form a corporation. - Howard Scott
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it. - Henry Thomas Buckle
