Only Child Syndrome?

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Let us not be bogged down with whether or not 'Only Children' are obnoxious or not. The issue is why do so many people consider that parents must have more than one child?

 

[azzaman333]

Well, I assume its because (a) they expect the child to be spoilt (b) so the child has a friend without leaving the house (c) to make them more likely to share, less obnoxious, etc, (d) I forgot what i was going to say here...

 

[Masquerouge]

As some of you may or may not be aware I have one child, my Son. Almost since the moment of his birth people have asked when we plan to have another child. Any slight suggestion I have given that we didn't plan to have another child has been met with fierce resistance. Not just from family, but also friends and, to be frank, complete bloody strangers.

The universal statement seems to be "you can't have an only child".

Why is this? I presume it's some kind of cultural influence which I haven't been made aware of previously.

In addition to this I remember from past experience people refering to 'Only Child Syndrome'. The implication being that 'Only Children' are often selfish and rather obnoxious. I very much doubt this is the case and if it is, I don't think it can be attributed to the person having no siblings.

Is this a British thing or have other people heard of similar sentiments?

It has always amazed me that people are allowed to make constant comments about how you should have a kid/more kids.

It's none of their freakin'business.

So far as the "only child" syndrom is concerned, it's only a matter of spoiling. If you spoil your child he will have that "only child" syndrom, if you don't he/she will be just like all other unspoiled kids.

My wife is an only child but you could never tell it if you were looking for the "only child" syndrom.

 

[Rossiya]

As a modern Catholic in England, I see 3 or 4 children as correct for me.

 

[GinandTonic]

Two half brothers twelve years younger than me. Wish I could be selfish, since I am my mothers only living relative I dont have that luxury. Could be nice to spend a few years overseas - but if you are the only family how many houres away can you be? Another child would take some of the pressure of the one you have.

 

[Dionysius]

<purged.>

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

It is not anyone's business how many children you have even if your kids are better off with siblings.

My mom was an only child and spent 20 years trying to compensate. Thus there are 8 of us and for all the aggravation, I am very glad to have had so many siblings. But I don't recommend it for everyone.

 

[.Shane.]

Is this a British thing or have other people heard of similar sentiments?

No, not at all.

I have some recent experiences and observations about 1 kid vs. 2+ families.

When we had our first child, my wife got involved w/ some mother groups for socializing, peer support, etc... and has now, 6 years later, some wonderful friends. Ditto for our kids.

But, w/in this group, we've seen some of the families move on and have additional kids (we have 3) while some are single kid families.

What I've noticed is that the only children families are much more... "into" their only kid. Maybe that's just anectodotal coincidence. But, I do think that with 1 versus 2 or more there is no competition from other kids for parental attentions. I think that parents in turn find it easier, etc...

I know that with us, having 3 kids, the kids have to get used to a lot more disappointment, since they often compete for the same toy, attention, etc... But, they also have siblings to interact with, etc...

So, I'm not sure I'd call it a "syndrome", unless there is a unique behavior that can be clinically diagnosed.

 

[Perfection]

I'm an only child and I turned out okay!

 

[Irish Caesar]

Let us not be bogged down with whether or not 'Only Children' are obnoxious or not. The issue is why do so many people consider that parents must have more than one child?

Probably because so many either (a) had siblings or (b) had more than one kid or (c) plan on having more than one kid.

 

[Mongoloid Cow]

That is such a rubbish statement, I can only assume you are actually stupid. How sad for you. I'm sure you're ugly too.

What, too harsh you say? Why, you are telling me I used to get what I wanted when I wanted it, "basically, hence [ I ] never developed non-selfishness."

When I was 12, I finally got a sister. My mum felt bad for years that my sister got so much more than I ever did. Because when I was I kid she didn't have as much money. That's right, monkey-brain. It's the parents' means and personality that decides what and how much their kids get.

I didn't have to cooperate? What, you think only-children sit in their rooms by themselves till they hit 18?

So clearly, if you are able to make such astute observations from afar about me, I should be able to do the same about you. And gawd, from what I see, you are ugly, leaking spinal-fluid and all, lolling your head, going "ghaaa, ghaaa" while soiling your pants. Poor boy. Maybe someone'll do the decent thing and put you down soon.

(Oh, and "non-selfishness" isn't a word. Here are some to choose from in the future: unselfish, selfless, generous, caring, kind, altruistic. Empathetic.)

Regards.

EDIT: I just noticed your nick. Hm. Fitting. Mongolid Cow indeed.

Good to see your language skills are good enough to know what the word "generally" means. And of course non-selfishness isn't a word. The hyphen pretty much made that clear.

 

[Willowmound]

Good to see your language skills are good enough to know what the word "generally" means. And of course non-selfishness isn't a word. The hyphen pretty much made that clear.

It's not 'generally' true either, hyphen-head.

 

[Oerdin]

Only children tend to be self centered and maladjusted. This isn't always true but the odds are higher then with children with siblings. I do wonder why you don't want any more children and I am inclined to suspect that your relationship with your significant other isn't all you hoped it would be. Shrug, I honestly don't care enough to bother writing more.

 

[Atlas14]

It's not 'generally' true either, hyphen-head.

Sure it is.

 

[Turner]

Moderator Action: Mongoloid cow - warned, trolling.
Willowmound, warned again, trolling. Didn't we have a conversation on how to handle these kinds of posts?
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

I'm an only child and I turned out okay!

Prove it

Only children tend to be self centered and maladjusted. This isn't always true but the odds are higher then with children with siblings. I do wonder why you don't want any more children and I am inclined to suspect that your relationship with your significant other isn't all you hoped it would be.

That's rather presumptuous, on a number of accounts.

Shrug, I honestly don't care enough to bother writing more.

Well thank Heavens for small mercies.

 

[Rambuchan]

Having read the OP, I think it's fair to say that your child will grow up to be a modern day Stalin or Mao and that you are powerless to stop his fiercesome ascent to such selfish, arrogant and oppressive rule of others (save for making more babies).

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Having read the OP, I think it's fair to say that your child will grow up to be a modern day Stalin or Mao and that you are powerless to stop his fiercesome ascent to such selfish, arrogant and oppressive rule of others (save for making more babies).

That's some achievement. I hope he looks after his old Papy

 

[Mise]

I hate that stereotype. It's a pet hate of mine actually.

 

[Steph]

I have two kids, and seeing them interact is very nice.

However, I'm not sure about a third.

According to statistics, for every 3 children born in the world, 1 is a chinese.
I don't want my third children to be a chinese, so I'll probably stop at 2