Pick Up Artists

[RedRalph]

I only know the phrase hammer party from the Big Black album of the same name.

somoene stole my idea (probably a decade or two before I even had it)

 

[Abaddon]

I enjoy picking up women/girls. Its a fun way to pass the time.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

The Hammer Party: Released 1986.

Their next album was better but I can't write the name of it here

 

[Abaddon]

I prefer the term "born".

I was born in 1986...

 

[GenMarshall]

Having looked up what this is, I think its a load of bollix and very very creepy. Want to get women?

Look your best
Compliment them
Act confident, even if you arent
Make them laugh
Listen to them

Its as simple as that

Unless one has fear of rejection and the fear to apporoach a woman. That process is highly impossible.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Well what have you got to lose (except virginity, of course ).

 

[Abaddon]

Get drunk, that helps.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Abaddon is wise.

 

[Abaddon]

An sober

CG, you ever going to take our advice?

 

[ParadigmShifter]

We'll never know, once he becomes a studmonkey he'll stop posting and be drawn into a seedy world of sex and drugs.

 

[I'm Cleo!]

Several people here have mentioned a concern about the objectification of women. However, what is really wrong with going after hot girls or for that matter wanting casual sex? If a man gain's esteem and self worth from dating and bedding hot girls, what is really wrong with him seeking out those girls? To go further, if he found out a way to be more successful at doing that, what exactly is wrong with that?

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex. If that's what two (or more?) people want to do, go for it. Nor is there anything wrong with wanting to be better at that. But it's the way that PUAs tell people to do it that, and the view of women that underlies the PUA approach (but is not shared by all people who use it), that I think is bad.

BTW, aren't all social interactions really manufactured and fake and to some extent based on people's past experiences and patterns learned over time? Aren't we really creatures of habit for the most part?

Yeah, sure.

And for the women who are laying down the objectification card, what are your thoughts on women who wear push up bras or high heels? Do you find this behavior equally manipulative? Do you feel women should be able to dress in a way that shows off their figure?

Well, I'm a man laying down the objectification card, but I'll answer. The answer is this: that's not really "objectification." It's not just appreciating someone physically, it's a way of conceiving of someone else not as another person, but as an object. I can look at pictures of Angelina Jolie and think she's a beautiful woman without objectifying her (I should note that I think the term has been misused for a long time -- cf. "fascism" -- which has drained it of a lot of its meaning). For example, I wear nice shoes and clothes that fit me and suit my physique; when we go out, my wife does the same, and we appreciate each other's appearance (I hope! I know that I do hers) -- it doesn't mean that we're objectifying each other. We understand that the other is a person, not just an object. The PUA approach has underlying it genuine objectification, which I think is bad.

Well, it seems a little unfair to approach things from a woman's point of view and then claim that men are doing it wrong. I think it's pretty despicable that mainstream women's magazines are packed with hints and tips about snagging a good man, seducing him, keeping him interested (including manipulative rubbish about not giving him too much, or being too nice) and that there's even a whole book about fooling men into relationships.
That a few men whose attitudes are barely known outside the USA are approaching encounters between the sexes from their own angle, rather than women's angle, seems to me entirely fair.

I think those magazines and books are despicable, too! But that doesn't mean the male analogue is acceptable.

The overall goal is fine. That men have cast off the shackles of female oppression and are creating their own sexual goals is not a bad thing.
Manipulating women into helping them achieve their goals might be a bad thing, but I find it outrageous that anyone can condemn the goals themselves.

"Shackles of female oppression?" Really?

Cleo

 

[Elrohir]

The overall goal is fine. That men have cast off the shackles of female oppression and are creating their own sexual goals is not a bad thing.
Manipulating women into helping them achieve their goals might be a bad thing, but I find it outrageous that anyone can condemn the goals themselves.

Not everyone wants a long-lasting, monogamous relationship. Women and men tend to, but many men don't.
Women manipulate men in many ways and share these secrets privately, publicly and in popular writing. Even advertisements show weak-minded and pathetic men being pwned by sassy women.
And yet when a few men discover that women too can be manipulated for a goal that they might not want (without being manipulated into wanting it), and refuse to bow before the overwhelming social pressure that forbids chasing any goal but that which is stereotypically women's, everyone says how terrible it is.

I detect a slight whiff of hypocrisy.

I condemn the goals, because I happen to think that it's really shallow (And also, sad, and unfulfilling) to spend your life having sex with lots of girls who don't think much of themselves, and never actually building a connection with them - never seeing them as anything other than pieces in a game.

If you think that sounds fun, then sure, go for it, I guess. It's a free country, and shouldn't be illegal, as long as the women consent. But while you have the right to act in this manner, you don't have the right to my respect - which you won't get, while you act in a manner I find despicable.

Several people here have mentioned a concern about the objectification of women. However, what is really wrong with going after hot girls or for that matter wanting casual sex? If a man gain's esteem and self worth from dating and bedding hot girls, what is really wrong with him seeking out those girls? To go further, if he found out a way to be more successful at doing that, what exactly is wrong with that?

Well, I happen to be of the opinion that your self esteem should come from who you are, and what good, constructive things you have done. As I don't consider insulting women in bars until they have sex with you a constructive activity, I don't it's an appropriate means of build self esteem. You are, of course, entitled to disagree.

BTW, aren't all social interactions really manufactured and fake and to some extent based on people's past experiences and patterns learned over time? Aren't we really creatures of habit for the most part?

I'm genuine with most people, most of the time. So no, I don't think "all social interactions" are fake.

And for the women who are laying down the objectification card, what are your thoughts on women who wear push up bras or high heels? Do you find this behavior equally manipulative? Do you feel women should be able to dress in a way that shows off their figure?

I think women should be able to dress however they want, within what is allowed by local law. But, I think women who dress in a manner that will be seen as provocative in that area and society and time, and do so knowingly, don't really get to complain if they receive a lot of attention for it - specifically, only attention from guys who want to have sex with them, rather than build a life with them. (So I have no sympathy for women who dress scantily, and then complain that men are only interested in having sex. No....the only men who are interested in you are interested in sex, and that's because all you're advertising is sex.)

So yes, I do think it's rather manipulative. But I think it's more manipulation out of ignorance, than anything; I suspect that most of these women would rather be in love with a man who respects them and makes them happy, than in spending their nights in bars and clubs. (Although I'm sure there are always women who genuinely just like partying) Of course, they're going about accomplishing their goal in a terrible manner - but I do think that remains the long term goal for many of them. The PUA people, on the other hand, don't seem to have a goal besides banging as many chicks as possible.

 

[Truronian]

Pick up art for pick up art's sake is an empty phrase...

 

[Abaddon]

Pick up art for pick up art's sake is an empty phrase...

Not sure.. it is nice to flirt, get a positive responce, but take it no further..?

 

[Abaddon]

We'll never know, once he becomes a studmonkey he'll stop posting and be drawn into a seedy world of sex and drugs.

They get boring after a while and you come back

 

[Truronian]

They get boring after a while and you come back

The only thing you like more than women is a bunch of men from the internet, eh?

 

[Abaddon]

This and chocolate...

 

[Kyriakos]

Pick-up artists? As a schizoid, that is a superior human being, i have no need of those

 

[Luckymoose]

Picking up women is surprisingly easy. It took me alot of over the top effort as a mid-teen to figure this out. If you are generally funny, nice and flirty they fall over you. It is so simple that you can literally get women in a matter of hours.