pick up lines and a few dead baby jokes

[stellar converter]

hey, wanna go out for pizza and a little sex?

what? you dont like pizza?

lets go to my house and study math.

subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

ill get more later.

1.why did the baby fall out of the tree?
it was dead

2.why did the other baby fall out of the tree too?
it was dead

3.whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadillac?
i dont have a cadillac in my garage.

4.whats the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bowling balls?
you cant unload a truck of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

5.how many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
i dont know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

6.whats small, red, and cant walk through doors?
a dead baby with a javelin through his head.

7. whats small, red, and cant get in an elevator?
a dead baby with a javeling through his head.

there is more to come.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Lovely.
Whats more fun than spinning a baby around by its heels on a clothes line?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Whats worse than 10 babies in 1 bin?
1 baby in 10 bins.
What is red, sits in a corner, and slowly gets smaller?
A baby with a razor blade.
Whats golden brown and taps on glass?
A baby in a microwave.

Pick up lines: Only the semi clean ones.

Do you want to dance?
NO!!
Oh.. You must have misheard me, I said you look fat in those pants.

Do you want to play war? I'll lie down and play dead while you blow the horsehockey out of me.

Ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?
(Pull out both pockets) Why not give it a go!

Well f**k me if your name isn't Adam!!
(Generally guaranteed to work on women, but probably not men, particularly if their name is Adam)

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.

Why did the second koala fall out of the same tree?
Because it was hit by a fridge.

Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.

Why couldn't the cat eat its food?
Because its head was nailed to the floor.

------------------
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[xeven_god_of_helsibahr]

OK, my pick-up line:

The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word.

 

[BlueMonday]

I can't believe some of the pick up lines out there. What I want to know is: Do they actually work? I think I'll go do a little experiment using all those mentioned here and see if they work.

Wish me luck...

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/image_uploads/goodbye3.jpg" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">You move like I want to, and sing like your eyes do.</FONT c>
<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/2ar15smilie.gif" border=0>

[This message has been edited by BlueMonday (edited May 13, 2001).]

 

[FearlessLeader2]

In Memorium--
For BlueMonday, who was trampled, shot, beaten, stabbed, and clawed to death by a horde of enraged women at a bar last might...

 

[Mongol Horde]

Things in a similar vain:

Whats black and white and can't turn round in a corridor?

A nun with a spear in her back.

What's red and screams

A peeled baby in a salt bath

Pick up lines:

M: Have you ever seen a 2Tonne polar bear
W: No
M: Neither have I but I bet it's a real ice breaker.

M: *gestures for woman to come over using little finger*
M: If I can make you come with my little finger imagine what the rest of me can do.

 

[BlueMonday]

Good news guys, I found a pick up line that actually works. It's cute and subtle at the same time.

"I have this pen here...[little pause for dramamtic effect]...unfortuneatly, it only works if it's writing numbers."

But if you're looking for an icebreaker might I recommend: "You know, if it hadn't been for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." Never fails; it's such an odd statement that women can't resist figuring it out.

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/image_uploads/goodbye3.jpg" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">I don't ask why, I just fall into the meadow; I close my eyes, and I, I wait to die.
Yes I am a liar, yes I am a sinner; please forgive my broken soul.</FONT c>

[This message has been edited by BlueMonday (edited May 31, 2001).]