Psychological decompensation

[Hygro]

Occurs when your resources are frayed (tired, hungry, anxious, acutely sick etc) and your personality starts to disintegrate. Who's aware of this and who has good stories of it taking over or of overcoming it?

 

[Senethro]

This sounds like one of those "ensure this situation does not come to pass" type of things.

 

[Synobun]

I've been going through this for a couple years now.

Wouldn't know what to tell you about overcoming it. It's mostly been a slow burn towards consistent dissociation.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure how long this thread will last on CFC since it strays dangerously close to the mental health line. Hopefully it gets some good mileage before it reaches that point.

 

[Narz]

I've been going through this for a couple years now.

Wouldn't know what to tell you about overcoming it. It's mostly been a slow burn towards consistent dissociation.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure how long this thread will last on CFC since it strays dangerously close to the mental health line. Hopefully it gets some good mileage before it reaches that point.

Yeah God forbid a person try to help another person on this forum. "Personal thread : locked"

 

[Synobun]

Yeah God forbid a person try to help another person on this forum. "Personal thread : locked"

Eh, it makes sense. I came to OT at the tail-end of when more personal threads were allowed and it happened far more frequently that people would gang up on someone who's vulnerable than offer any actual support. I had a fair share of childish tantrums because of it.

I have a gut reaction to want it permissible but the very limited experience I have with it on CFC suggested that it's not a great thing to allow. Maybe it'd be fine now. I'm not really sure. I do know that it'd need a very, very convincing argument to change the status quo.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Occurs when your resources are frayed (tired, hungry, anxious, acutely sick etc) and your personality starts to disintegrate. Who's aware of this and who has good stories of it taking over or of overcoming it?

Here's something to be aware of: When I get really cranky, at least part of it is due to depression being worse than usual. I just don't have as much patience when that happens, and sometimes the patience is basically at zero.

As for overcoming it... I have no answers to offer. There are good days and bad days, and what I've noticed that helps is the discipline necessary to do NaNoWriMo competitions. It means focusing on writing that has the goal of becoming a story. The times I was successful were the times when I didn't let myself be distracted by things I didn't have control over. I did have control over those 500 words/day in the Camp events and those 1700 words/day in the main November event.

 

[Gori the Grey]

I've been working not to be so irritable, particularly when I'm tired or hungry or stressed.

Mindfulness of the usual triggers. Deep breathing when I notice one. That's all I got, but it's made a little positive difference, I think. And the mindfulness is like anything you practice. The more times you catch a trigger before it triggers you, the better you get at catching triggers before they trigger you.

 

[stinkubus]

I worked in a state mental institution (US) for close to a decade, but the stories aren't really all that interesting. Dealing with what we described as "institutional behavior" was much more challenging than a symptomatic patient. You can justify sedating someone who is raving like a lunatic, or acting out violently, but you can't really do much about someone who steals from their peers, starts fights, etc.

If your condition is dire enough that a mental health professional would actually use the term "decompensating" to describe it (again, speaking for the US here) then your prognosis is incredibly poor and you probably aren't overcoming anything as it's likely you are now so disconnected from reality that therapy would be pointless and medication is complete crap shoot that often comes along with intolerable, and in some cases potentially lethal, side effects.

 

[Hygro]

I have a good friend with health issues who is really fun in the beginning of a hangout but as he gets tired he starts saying nonsensical things, making abrupt demands, turns the conversation to be all about him, gets whiny, etc. Gets a bit paranoid, gets inappropriately moralistic. Basically goes from cool to uncool.

It happens when his fatigue sets in and he loses the direction of his person other than "shut down/defend/take refuge". It's got me thinking about the whole thing.

 

[Synobun]

I have a good friend with health issues who is really fun in the beginning of a hangout but as he gets tired he starts saying nonsensical things, making abrupt demands, turns the conversation to be all about him, gets whiny, etc. Gets a bit paranoid, gets inappropriately moralistic. Basically goes from cool to uncool.

It happens when his fatigue sets in and he loses the direction of his person other than "shut down/defend/take refuge". It's got me thinking about the whole thing.

I definitely get this after I've just exerted myself beyond my comfort level. It usually takes the form of poor memory recall and irritation. My tolerance for frustrating situations drops significantly and things that are memorized, like phone numbers or addresses, go flying out the window.

Is there something that helps him settle down? My go-to in these scenarios is to retreat and allow time to do the hard work of getting me back to a functioning state, but maybe there is something that gets him grounded enough to at least be less reactionary.

 

[Hygro]

I'm not sure. In his case I happen to have been through a lot of the same so I've been able to help socialize him over time His proclivity to dis(-)integrate (the word I came up with before discovering decompensate) has been stark, instead of shrinking he starts spilling. It undermines him immensely, unless the goal is keeping a homeostasis of being that involves people not wanting him around so he has more time to himself.

I feel like a better strategy for that though is to chill, as it fixes things from all sides of the equation including burning through the energy in the first place and being credible in saying no later without having to explain oneself.

 

[Narz]

Eh, it makes sense. I came to OT at the tail-end of when more personal threads were allowed and it happened far more frequently that people would gang up on someone who's vulnerable than offer any actual support. I had a fair share of childish tantrums because of it.

I have a gut reaction to want it permissible but the very limited experience I have with it on CFC suggested that it's not a great thing to allow. Maybe it'd be fine now. I'm not really sure. I do know that it'd need a very, very convincing argument to change the status quo.

So what your saying is a more open society (of civfanatics) makes the moderators job more difficult so rather than step up to the challenge it's easier to just make the forum more restrictive

 

[Synobun]

If there is someone with mental health concerns trying to post about it in a community that previously had a trend of ganging up on people with mental health concerns, I think it's prudent to restrict that activity. In one scenario the potential risk is loss of life. In the other scenario, it annoys a few people. I know which one I'd prefer.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

If there is someone with mental health concerns trying to post about it in a community that previously had a trend of ganging up on people with mental health concerns, I think it's prudent to restrict that activity.

This is why we had a support group prior to the XenForo migration and why we set another one up off-board.

That said, weren't there a couple of the "Ask a(n)... " threads that dealt with mental health or psychological matters?

 

[Synobun]

Iiiiii... am actually not sure.

Thinking back on it, I'm remembering one that was specific to a person's condition, and I remember posts in that thread/other threads that allude to, ehm, 'problems' getting curtailed quickly.

It's a thin line to toe. I've considered requesting permission to make a thread about my health, but to be honest my answers to a lot of questions would very likely cross that thin line. There's also the matter that a lot of people on CFC really like to poke holes in everything, person behind the keyboard be damned, and so that's something I also wouldn't want to feed into.

On that note, today is Bell Let's Talk! It's a Canadian telecom initiative that is intended to expand awareness about mental illness. I personally am not a huge fan of the program but I do support its underlying premise. A couple of their donation schemes are Bell-only. I believe there's a few that anyone can do anywhere in the world. Details here. They donate 5 cents per tweet with a certain hashtag, as well as per video view, to mental health initiatives. They end up donating a few million dollars each year. I believe they donated upwards of six million last year.

 

[Narz]

If there is someone with mental health concerns trying to post about it in a community that previously had a trend of ganging up on people with mental health concerns, I think it's prudent to restrict that activity. In one scenario the potential risk is loss of life. In the other scenario, it annoys a few people. I know which one I'd prefer.

Most people with mental illness have plenty of experience dealing with the insensitive. To find one supportive ally you often have to wade thru a swamp of people who misunderstand you. It's worth it. The assumption that those who suffer are so fragile that they'll off themselves over a jerk or two online offends me. It's a non-zero possiblity but if it's taboo to discuss then any possibility of help is lost. Saying any possibility of mutual support is outweighed by the risk of bullying is a sad statement about the forumgoers here.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Iiiiii... am actually not sure.

Thinking back on it, I'm remembering one that was specific to a person's condition, and I remember posts in that thread/other threads that allude to, ehm, 'problems' getting curtailed quickly.

It's a thin line to toe. I've considered requesting permission to make a thread about my health, but to be honest my answers to a lot of questions would very likely cross that thin line. There's also the matter that a lot of people on CFC really like to poke holes in everything, person behind the keyboard be damned, and so that's something I also wouldn't want to feed into.

There was one about Aspergers, and I think there's one that's more recent (something about schizo-affective?).

Back in my time on staff people had to get a moderator's permission to start an "Ask" thread. I think that was rescinded eventually, but my suggestion would be to run your idea past one of the supermods or admins. Make it Red Diamond so any trolling or snide stuff can be dealt with.

Or... there's that other place. Not as populated, but you know it's safe.

 

[stinkubus]

It's pretty common on forums like these. I assume most of the users believe they are being trolled when reading posts coming from someone who claims to be mentally ill.

 

[Synobun]

Most people with mental illness have plenty of experience dealing with the insensitive. To find one supportive ally you often have to wade thru a swamp of people who misunderstand you. It's worth it. The assumption that those who suffer are so fragile that they'll off themselves over a jerk or two online offends me. It's a non-zero possiblity but if it's taboo to discuss then any possibility of help is lost. Saying any possibility of mutual support is outweighed by the risk of bullying is a sad statement about the forumgoers here.

Finding an ally is still possible on CFC. The last time this came up it was suggested that members request someone contact them privately since they're going through a tough time.

You'll note that I didn't say that people will off themselves if someone is a jerk to them. It's important to recognize that common or majority response heavily impacts a person's mental health even if they are what you would consider stable/healthy. People poking holes in your vulnerability and taking it to an unusually aggressive and personal degree is harmful to most people, but especially those who are vulnerable.

Hell, even a regular venting post in Random Rants is often subject to at least a handful of people telling you it's your fault. I've seen people express something about their personal health only to have someone reply with "Good" or some quip about how their situation is merely a fabrication of their own design. CFC isn't a bastion of unerring compassion. A moderator can swing by and infract/delete those posts but the damage will have already been done. I say what I say because I've seen it happen personally on this very website over the years.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Finding an ally is still possible on CFC. The last time this came up it was suggested that members request someone contact them privately since they're going through a tough time.

You'll note that I didn't say that people will off themselves if someone is a jerk to them. It's important to recognize that common or majority response heavily impacts a person's mental health even if they are what you would consider stable/healthy. People poking holes in your vulnerability and taking it to an unusually aggressive and personal degree is harmful to most people, but especially those who are vulnerable.

Hell, even a regular venting post in Random Rants is often subject to at least a handful of people telling you it's your fault. I've seen people express something about their personal health only to have someone reply with "Good" or some quip about how their situation is merely a fabrication of their own design. CFC isn't a bastion of unerring compassion. A moderator can swing by and infract/delete those posts but the damage will have already been done. I say what I say because I've seen it happen personally on this very website over the years.

Yep. There's a reason why there's a rule against "kill yourself" posts. Nobody can know what might be the last straw, and it's an incredibly cruel thing to post.

A few years ago a young guy on my Doctor Who forum never came back... people got curious, and when his obituary turned up in his city's online newspaper, we found out that he had killed himself. None of us knew him in person, but even in an online community there's a feeling of unease and sadness and the nagging wonder that maybe if we'd known, someone could have reached out and helped him.

We'll never know.