random quotes
- Thread starter kristopherb
- Start date
ParadigmShifter
Random Nonsense Generator
"Tsk. He's rolling around as if he's dead!" - Alan Green, Radio 5 Live
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
Murrey Walker (former F1 commentator)
~"There's nothing wrong with that car except that it's on fire"
~"This car is absolutely uniqueexcept for the one following it, which is identical."
~"The interesting thing about this circuit is that it has inclines; not just up, but down as well."
~"There's nothing wrong with that car except that it's on fire"
~"This car is absolutely uniqueexcept for the one following it, which is identical."
~"The interesting thing about this circuit is that it has inclines; not just up, but down as well."
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
I posted that one 8 posts above
Apologies, I knew I'd heard it somewhere 
Comedian at the Edinbrugh Festival: It's fair to say that Braveheart has a number of historical inaccuracies. In one scene the English and Scots are on opposite ends of the battlefield and Mel Gibson has to convince them to fight. He should have thrown a football inbetween them.
Swedishguy
Deity
"Smart Arab --> Bara Trams"
-Random Persian
This has been said by a Random Persian.
-Random Persian
This has been said by a Random Persian.
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
Isn't there another thread for 'Random Persian' quotes?
Swedishguy
Deity
Aw, phooey. That thread is for un-true Random Persian Quotes, this is a true Random Persian Quote. Got it?
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
With only you to advice us of the difference?
thetrooper
Misanthrope
- Joined
- May 24, 2004
- Messages
- 9,088
I understand Swedish quite well. That however doesn't mean that everyone around here does. Maybe you should translate the bolded part for our extremely hip audience?
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
If the 'Persian' hadn't actually said the words, it wouldn't be a 'quote'. Got it?
The Godfather:
Don Corleone: We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you ever came to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.
Bonasera: I didn't want to get into trouble.
Don Corleone: I understand. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend like me. But uh, now you come to me and you say - 'Don Corleone, give me justice.' But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you, uh, ask me to do murder for money.
Don Corleone: Bonasera, Bonasera. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
"Just dump 'em in the fire, Dad."
"Yes... The madness ends here."
"Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that..."
"So it's true what they say about pigs eating the flesh of their own."
"Death solves all problems - no man, no problem."
"The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward."
"Yes... The madness ends here."
"Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that..."
Bart, Lisa and Homer Simpson
"So it's true what they say about pigs eating the flesh of their own."
Adolf Hitler, on Hermann Göring and the Sturm Abteilung
"Death solves all problems - no man, no problem."
Josef Stalin
"The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward."
John Maynard Keynes
That quote pretty much sums up World War II.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Doctor: I figured, "How far could I coast on charm?" Well, pretty far actually.
Kids in the Hall
Kids in the Hall
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
From Grand Theft Auto:
Father: Jimmy, tidy your room and go to bed.
Jimmy: I'm so sick of this. I keep telling you I'm not what I seem, I look 12, but I'm a 42 year old Investment Banker. I wanna go out and get laid.
Father: Yeah, and I'm Santa Claus, now tidy your room.
Jimmy: A******.
==========
Ammu-Nation Announcer: Come by Amnu-Nation to register to win an anti-aircraft gun, actually used when we whooped Australia's ass!
Father: Jimmy, tidy your room and go to bed.
Jimmy: I'm so sick of this. I keep telling you I'm not what I seem, I look 12, but I'm a 42 year old Investment Banker. I wanna go out and get laid.
Father: Yeah, and I'm Santa Claus, now tidy your room.
Jimmy: A******.
==========
Ammu-Nation Announcer: Come by Amnu-Nation to register to win an anti-aircraft gun, actually used when we whooped Australia's ass!
Swedishguy
Deity
"The beauties of Women Lib are easily counted."
-Ijon Tichy
-Ijon Tichy
"Have you ever been in love Horrible isn't it It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."
o The character "Rose Walker" in The Sandman #65
o The character "Rose Walker" in The Sandman #65
Swedishguy
Deity
"I've been to Stånhäng."
-Swedishguy's dad commenting his visit to Stonehenge
-Swedishguy's dad commenting his visit to Stonehenge
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
Here are some of my favourite 'In Soviet Russia' lines:
"In Soviet Russia, T.V. watches YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, nuts crack YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, dog walks YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, plant waters YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, piano plays YOU!"
"In Soviet Canada, igloos are made of coconuts!"
"In Soviet Russia, T.V. watches YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, nuts crack YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, dog walks YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, plant waters YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds YOU!"
"In Soviet Russia, piano plays YOU!"
"In Soviet Canada, igloos are made of coconuts!"
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