random quotes

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Joan Collins - "The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer."

 

[Catharsis]

Do not let it be said that there are no intelligent debates in Forum Games.

I like cookies. I like american football too.

Mmmm, cookies,

American football? Are you the only american that has gotten it right? That football is football (not soccer) and that the superbowl-thing, which is not a sport, ought to be called rugby (with extra protection)

Rugby for sissies. "But I might get hurt! Where's my protective armour plating?"

Health and safety people: "SOON - WE - WILL - CONTROL - YOU - ALL. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

Practically man-on-man with a condom.

Not to forget the extensive breaks. After 10 seconds of running, they need at least a break of 15 minutes.... Watching the "endless-break-bowl" is really boring....

That just about gives them time to wash their hair and put fabric softener on their kit. Poor little mites, getting all dirty.

What is there to say else? That even "the bold an the beautiful" is filled with action and exciting, new happenings all the time compared to it

but here in amercia - especially at my school - football is considered very manly. i doubt theyve played rugby before, though

Football is played using a round ball and it is not allowed to touch the ball with your hands (except from the goalkeeper, that is). They do NOT play football in the "nothing-happens-lets-go-home-bowl"

I think we should invade America and force them to change the word. Lorgen, Jono, you in?

Can`t we just nuke `em?

{Fell free to invade us. Just be sure to put all those damn rugby fans on the front line. We can do both our continents a favor.}

sorry, sorry, i've been brainwashed into thinking of "football" as american football and actual football as soccer - ach, i just got confused wrting that

Lorgen: you sound like Dubya Bush.

Chandrasekhar: and send our finest patriots to their deaths? Not likely. The England football team, however... I'll think about it.

 

[puglover]

I always thought "sipping morning joe" meant urinating in the morning!

Sorry.

- Random Swede

 

[RubricousMidget]

From bash.org:

"<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS"


This one might be on the edge of the acceptable, but is just too good to leave out. Mods, feel free to delete or censor as you wish if this goes over the line:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something



SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I&#8217;m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r



<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.



< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.



<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell



<born1986> why the f**k isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i f*****g worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my f****n drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this s**t always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that s**t out tha window
[. . .]
<born1986> OMG i f****n did it!!!
<born1986> F**K!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass>
<born1986> F**K S**T F**K
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb
[. . .]
<born1986> s**t
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass>
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that f*****g disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now
[. . .]
<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb

 

[carmen510]

"Be aware that some ATMs will tell you to take your cash within 30 seconds, and if you're not fast enough, your cash may be sucked back into the machine... and you'll have a hassle trying to get it from the bank"

-Rick Steves' Rome 2007

 

[pboily]

"No one expects a Rangers victory! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and colorful language. Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and colorful langauge...and an almost fanatical devotion to good pizza. Our four... no... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again."

-- Zarn (on the Rangers' chances in the playoffs)

 

[Swedishguy]

Goofy: When we visit other worlds, we can't let on were where from. We've gotta protect the world border.
Donald: "Order".
Goofy: Right. Order!
Donald: *dissappointed duck noise*

 

[flaming_iles]

from bash.org (again)

<LenaWarrior> Does Australia float around or is it stuck there
<KoreaPro> Are you serious?

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

"If we're all God's children... what's so special about Jesus?" - Jimmy Carr

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

"If we're all God's children... what's so special about Jesus?" - Jimmy Carr

to a legend

"My Wife asked me if I've been having sex behind her back. Yes, I replied, who did you think it was?" - Jimmy Carr

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Urgh, can't stand Jimmy Carr

Jack Dee

~[on pre-EU British passports]You used them to shove aside officials. "Out of my way, Johnny-foreigner! Reason for visit? Imperialism!"
~Unlike the namby-pamby Continental mustards that bring out the delicate and subtle flavours of food, English mustard makes your nose bleed.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

To JD too
"I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers." - Jack Dee

 

[Swedishguy]

What Globox says when you hit him!

"Just because your on TV doesn't mean you have to show off..."

"Rayman, stop! The manual says your my best friend!"

"If I had a hammer..."

 

[Technocactus]

Jimmy Carr is one of humanity's least funny people.


What I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp. - Bill Bailey

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs. - Patrick Monahan

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

"A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done." - Jimmy Carr

Urgh, can't stand Jimmy Carr

Bah! I hereby slap you with a trout!

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Jimmy Carr: If we're all god's children, what's so special about Jesus?

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Jimmy Carr: If we're all god's children, what's so special about Jesus?

I posted that one 8 posts above

 

[Swedishguy]

"Mmmm... ***burger...."
-Homer Simpson

 

[Catharsis]

"The Ku Klux Klan environmental programme - 'Keep the Arctic White'." - Bill Bailey