Rant: I hate cold.
I must be a bad Canadian.
Nah. I was told by an immigration officer that hating the cold was a marker for proper assimilation.
Rant: eff insomnia.
I took an ambien at 10pm and went to bed. I held my cat as he fell asleep, I listened as my wife's breathing changed indicating she'd fallen asleep. Clock said just past midnight and all that was on my mind was geography. I tried going through the alphabet by country: Afghanistan, Brazil, Colombia, etc... but that was too easy, so I decided I'd do it by countries by lowest population instead.
Fast forward to 4am and I've done the same thing by largest population, smallest area, largest area... I take another ambien.
My therapist and I have been working on helping me accept my ASD diagnosis and look for the positives of how my mind works. It's kinda cool and all how accurate I was from memory, but I don't think anyone is looking to hire a human wikipedia page.
Clock says 5 am. Ambien isn't even registering. My wife's cuddling me but like... I need to fart. I can't fart against her, but I also don't wanna wake her up by moving. Do I slip a pillow between us? Create a fart pillow? Our pillows are expensive though and I don't wanna sully one. I manage to roll over, remaining cuddled without waking her. Crisis averted.
Clock says 6 am. Toothless wants to be fed.When I get back in bed I just give up and get on my phone. I split the next 4 hours on reddit and playing sudoku.
10 am, wife wakes up, asks how I slept. I almost start crying. I take another ambien, and follow the advice on the bottle "do not mix with alcohol" by drinking half a bottle of wine.
11 am, I finally fall asleep
2 pm aaaaaaand I'm awake again.
This will all happen again tonight. Depression is so fun sometimes.