RB30 - Open SG - Irrational Isabella

The sun was high, past noon. Izzy stirred. The headache was gone. Had she finally vanquished the little voices inside her head? Alas, a stray sunbeam chose that moment to fall past her eyes. Agonizing, searing pain. Her kingdom/republic/depotism (whatever it was today) for a beer. "Who hath left the drapes exposed, she wondered. I shall have his head. Zounds, I have the cottonmouth again. The royal tooth has not been polished. We/I/me are most displeased."

Izzy, she paused to consider that name and decided that it was too unregal. Henceforth she shall be 'Bella. Anyway, she shuffled to the basin and drew a flask of water. She drained the flask upon her silky black hair and declared herself refreshed and ready to face the day. She shuffled off to the work area of the royal apartment, shucking undergarments in a trail of tribulation. She preferred to work au natural.

"K. Let us see what we hath done." Bella glanced at the first folder in the "in" box. Stunned she lurched backwards into the royal naugahide chair. "WHAT IDIOT HATH LET THE PEOPLE VOTE?"

Slightly panicked, she glanced at the next folder from the Department of Fissonable Slime. "WHAT IDIOT HAS LET THE PEOPLE SPEAK AS THEY WILL?"

Bordering on shock, she picked up a third folder. "WHERE ARE MY SPECIALISTS?"

Hyperventilating, she moved on to the fourth folder. "WE HAVE NO FOREIGN TRADE!"

Almost catatonic, quaking with fear, she lifted the final folder. "OUR RELIGION IS ORGANIZED!"

She paused. "om. om. om." It did not help.

She tried the mantra. "I AM SAM. SAM I AM. I DO NOT LIKE " It did not help.

She erupted. "LACKEYS GET YOUR TIGHT BUTTS IN HERE!"

A fat strange man appeared, asking, "Madame requires doughnuts? Umm.'

"WHERE ARE MY LACKEYS, DAMMIT?"

Homer replied, "madame?'

"YOU INSUFFERABLE TOAD. BELLA HAS HAD ENOUGH!. WE ARE REVOLTING!"

Bella bolted for the basement and released the Director of Police Services. "All is now well my patriot friend"

The new government examined itself (get your mind out of the gutter). It sorely lacked offensive capability. Asoka, the ass, smugly waved his technological prowess at our imperial goodness.

A most learned prol brought a new report, entitled, "Quantity, Benefits over Quality". Taking the new report to heart, we began the construction of the People's Mounted Guys with Carbines.

The incompetant foreign minister broought incoherent report of Vistus being captured, Anjar being razed and some such.

Some little man babbled something about an Oxford University beng built in our lands. Bah, more cavs.

A drunken greek wandered into the People's Leadership Chamber to demand our nation convert to some heathen religion. In a most gracious act, the envoy was spared, but only after he went home and fetched some 260g.

Suddenly, blackness clouded Bella's eyes. Her last vision was of a large...

Spoiler :
8 turns. 3*5 = revolutionary


http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/11866/RB30_Irrational_Isabella_AD-1706.Civ4SavedGame
 
‘Dearest Lord Mendoza, is Spain not the most fecund land on this sceptered isle?’

‘Why of course, ma’am, and she glisters all the more brightly with your Majesty seated on her bejewelled throne’.

‘Flattery will get you everywhere, Mendoza, including a trip to the gallows. Now tell me, with a land so bountiful, Spain should surely have a populous of 50 million souls. How many citizens does our land hold today, Lord Chancellor?’

‘Aah, well, you see, the census had to be delayed for errm technical reasons relating to the implementation of the aah conversion of the Operations and Administration Department to the Department of Adminstrative Oper-‘

‘Enough of your filibustering, Mendoza! Send out word to the local governors that Spain shall achieve the level of 50 Million citizens – strong, proud, and true - within the next 50 years.’

‘But, Majesty, that’s simply-‘

‘An order, Mendoza! Now go forth and multiply!’

And with that the Lord Chancellor took his leave and hastened to the Royal Academy of Sciences.

‘I’m sunk this time, friend Isaac. She’s gone quite mad: 50 million citizens within 50 years? Impossible! My family will be disinherited and my grandchildren ruined.’
‘Nonsense. You’ve dealt with worse in the past. Pull yourself together. And I have something that might just help you out. By applying some Scientific Method and taking on board the ‘New Alchemy’, that I like to call Chemistry (from the Greek, you know)’

‘Spare me the etymology.’

‘We could enhance the output of our farms and thus increasing our populace.’

‘What do you call this art of science?’

‘Biology. From the-‘

‘Greek. Very well. Come with to the mad-, her Majesty, immediately.’

‘Wonderful’, smiled Isabella. ‘But how will you fund such advances. The Royal purse is sorely strained.’

‘The bounty of war has sustained us in the past, dear Majesty,’ interjected Mendoza.

‘And send our menfolk to the slaughter? Never. Our people yearn to work the land. Find another way.’

‘As you wish, your Highness.’

Memo: Lord Chancellor to the Head of the Board of Trade.

Sell everything: techs, goods, trinkets, anything you can. Don’t worry about who’s buying. Just don’t sell any military techs. Her Majesty forbids it.

Memo: Lord Chancellor to all City Governors.

We need growth. And places for the people to trade the fruits of their labours. No troops unless we’re at war.

All was peaceful in the land for some years until some Incan envoys arrived

Civ4ScreenShot0109.jpg


‘Send them away with these words: Mighty Inca, we are your dearest friend and ally, but our people are but peaceful farmers and will take no part in this bloodletting.’

‘Majesty, the population has grown impressively in these last years. But the state coffers run down faster than we can replace them. We must trade with the Aztec!’

‘Mendoza, you have offered many a wise council. But I fear you have taken leave of your senses!’

‘Far from it, my Queen. I will trade Liberalism to Montezuma.’

‘Perfect. That raging maniac won’t have a clue how to use such knowledge. Make it so.’
‘Sorry to disturb your Majesty at such a late hour, but Asoka, Lord Master of the Indian Peoples, requests a personal audience.’

‘Very well.’

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‘Dear Asoka, Spain has the wherewithal to decide her own destiny. Good night to you, my Lord.’

‘Mendoza! Get in here now!

‘Majesty?’

‘Free all our citizens from the yoke and let it be know that all may cast ballots from this moment forth!’

‘But Majesty, did you not just a moment ago decline the earnest entreaty from the King of India to do exactly this?’

‘Indeed. But not out of blindness: I will not give that self-important swine the satisfaction of directing Spain’s government by proxy.’

‘It shall be done. And we have news that Capac has made peace with Arabia and Azteca.’

Some years passed and wizened the Lord Chancellor and his Queen. The Greco-Russian war deeply troubled the monarch, who latterly spent as much time tending her lands as attending to affairs of state.

‘Majesty! Majesty! Wonderful news!’

‘Good Lord! Why such frenzy? Are we a grandmother?’

‘Even better news than a Royal birth has reach our offices, if I may be so bold as to make such a claim.’

‘Tell me all, Mendoza.’

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‘Wonderful news indeed, my faithful Chancellor. My mission as monarch is fulfilled: I shall retire to my palace on the coast to see out my dotage.’

‘But, Majesty. What shall we…how shall we…you must remain in power! Who could possibly govern this lands as wisely as your Majesty?

‘Not my sons, that is certain’, sighed Isabella, ‘but there is one person fit for the task.’

‘Your daughter?’

‘Indeed. Isabella was born to rule.’

http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/96651/RB30_Irrational_Isabella_AD-1752.Civ4SavedGame

Spoiler :
Roll(1d6)+0:
4,+0
Total:4

Roll(1d6)+0:
6,+0
Total:6

Roll(1d6)+0:
4,+0
Total:4

Roll(1d6)+0:
5,+0
Total:5

Roll(1d6)+0:
6,+0
Total:6

NOTES
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This field records your latest roll at its top.
 
King Ferdinand woke with a start, Isabella had hit him in her sleep. As he turned to her he heard her muttering "Mas.". A cold shiver entered the King body "No ultra vez." he thought as she tossed and turned. As he tried to creep away to summon the Royal Physician Isabella sat up in the bed yelling "Necesitamos más soldados".

"Oh, good my dear Ferdinand, your are awake. Please summon my advisers, I have had the most wonderful vision, my love." Isabella said to Ferdinand as she dressed in her military attire. Fearing of putting Isabella into a foul mood he left the Royal Chambers quickly. "It appeared that someone was in for a bad few years" thought the King.

Isabella prepared herself as best as she could with her head throbbing. "The answer to all of Spain's problems laid with the Military. We only need more troops to bring the glory that mighty Spain deserves." she muttered to herself. "It is good we have such large population now we can build a truly fearsome army."

Isabella made her way to the Royal Court. Once there she saw that the King had not only summoned her advisers, her Generals were present as well. "My loyal subjects I have had the most wonderful vision." she started.

The King heard unmistakable groans from the Generals.

"Spain's glory lies with the destruction of all those who do not bow before me. Advisers tell all the city governors to only train Military personal from now on.

"But your Majesty we have not finished creating all the works required for the continued growth of our might empire." said the Lord Chancellor

Isabella turned slowly to the Lord Chancellor "My dear friend you have served me well over the many years. As such I truly regret that I will not be able to attend your retirement party to tonight."

"But my..."

"Enough!! Leave my sight while you still can." Isabella screamed then more calmly she turned to her Generals "I have looked at the our might empire and have noticed that we have cites that could be easily isolated. Who is responsible for this folly!"

A young general stepped up to his queen and said, "Forgive me my Majesty, but you are mistaken." The entire court held it breath. Ferdinand was sure that the general had sealed his fate.

Isabella smiled sweetly at the general, "General ..."

"Francisco Franco, my Majesty"

"Please enlighten me of my error, General Franco" said Isabella ever so coldly.

"It is true that we have cities deep into foreign territory, but they divide the Indian Empire. We have the bulk of our troops sitting at our North East all we need to is to assembly another great army at the furtherest extent of our lands on the other side of the Indian territory. With these two great armies assembled we can further divide Asoka into three pieces. With the capture of his horses to the north and some pillaging of his in the old American territory will cripple Asoka armies." Franco said in a strong voice.

King Ferdinand was in total disbelief, not even he dare to be so bold with the Queen. Isabella's sweet smile has grown as the General finished. She turned to other generals. "Well." She demanded.

General Alvarez was the first to speak. "My Majesty General Franco meant no disrespect. He is young but a skillful solider, I will see to his punishment so as to allow you to concentrates on important matters"

"My dear Alvarez, it is General Franco who will see to your punishment." Isabella said coldly. "General Francisco Franco will from now be known as Generalissimo. Franco the troops are at your disposal, bring Spain her glory."

As the Generals left, Isabella asked "Science adviser remind me of what great discovery will next be Spain's."

"Our scholars believe that they have almost developed a new form of governing, they are calling it Communism, my Majesty."

"Good, will it help with building our army and waring?"

"They tell me that it will, my Majesty."

"Excellent!, Ferdinand darling, could you please see to the create of Izzy's retreat for when Franco returns with his glorious news."

The King was dumbfounded he as being asked to do something. "Of course darling.", and off he went.

"Good one less fool to bother me while I wait for the glory of Spain to come." thought the Queen.

"My Majesty" interrupted a
messenger "Saladin would like a word with you."

"Send the fool in" replied Isabella

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:nono:

Saladin I am too busy to listen to you. Can you not see what I am admiring, look there."

Civ4ScreenShot0001.jpg


A Merchant by the name of Pytheas came to the court to ask his Queen "My Majesty I wish to travel to Cuzco to conduct a trade mission for the glory of Spain."

"Of course you may, such funds created would be useful" replied Isabelle

The Science adviser came running in "My Majesty we have created Communism." he exclaimed as he approached the Queen.

"Good,
Generalissimo Franco has been complaining that it is taking far to too long repair damaged equipment. See to it that the next discovery will rectify this issue, perhaps the use of Replaceable Parts" replied the Queen

"Yes, my Majesty", as the Science adviser scurried away, Peter the Great came in.

Civ4ScreenShot0006.jpg


(Missed the picture of him asking.):hammer2:

As Peter asked Isabella to join Russia in their war against the evil Greeks.
Generalissimo Franco whispered to Isabella that this would be a golden opportunity to train the troops for the upcome war with Asoka. Thus Isabella responded "Of course Spain would be help to help our Russian friends. Oh, wait a moment Peter could you spare some gold to help in this just cause?"

Peter was not impressed by gave the funds over to Isabella. "Do you worry Peter the gold will help see the end of the Greek empire." Replied Isabella as Peter left. "and to your own downfall" continued the Queen once Peter had left the Spanish court.

Another messenger entered courtroom to bring this news.

Civ4ScreenShot0007.jpg


"Good.", replied the Queen, "Please inform the Scholars that I want a faster way to send our troops to Greek territory." So the began to play with boiling water.

As short while later
Generalissimo Franco send news of the capture of New York. And asking that the Spanish Scholars somehow learn to create larger guns to replace the catapults. So when the Science Adviser came with news of Steam Power. Isabella demanded that he see to Franco's request.

Upon King Ferdinand's return to Isabella, he was excited about the new retreat he was allowed to build for his ever so beautiful Queen. He talked for hours of the beauty of the retreat and that they should both take a vacation there soon. As Ferdinand continued his ramblings Isabella felt the throbbing starting again.

Spoiler the world :
Civ4ScreenShot0013.jpg


I apologize for the some what incomplete story but my children and wife are yelling at me to something else other than sit in front of the computer.


Roll the dice.
 
Big armies, and an insane Isabella on the loose, why isn't anyone picking this up? :(

Kylerean maybe pick it up to keep it moving? I'll pick it up tomorrow if no-ones taken it on.
 
C'mon people, what's up? This game is about to lose steam... :sad:

Is it because you are afraid of managing large empires? Hey, no problem - you don't have to play your best game here, and in our situation you can't do much wrong! :)

Do big armies scare you off? No need for that! Again, if you lose more than needed, no problem! We have enough units and more than enough cities producing replacements, so you can have some easy fun! :hammer:

Or is it because you think this is a foregone conclusion and we've won this game anyway? Yes, maybe...but we still don't know how exactly we will win, what madness will happen until then, and what happens with Fernando Alvarez, General Franco, our poor advisors and the rest of our empire! Don't you want to find out? :king:

I know I do, but I won't be able to play before Friday...so I hope there will be more twists added to our story until then! ;)

-Kylearan
 
I may take it when I get home, in about three hours. Slim chance. Right now I'm playing Adventure 18, though.
 
:aargh: The game has remained free all day and I'm stuck at work! Got a scout meeting tonight so I can't play even when I get home.
 
Izzy is definately sleeping longer than expected... I hope somebody finds the time to get this thing moving again...
 
Got it. ....
 
Spoiler :
Oaf


"No, no, no, I won't!"

That was her answer to all her advisor's questions that morning. She had been asleep for almost a week, and she felt peevish and stubborn. No! She shouted at Peter when he asked for her world map. Then they left her her alone.

The war went well, except that those conniving Russians got to Thermopylae before her mighty armies.

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Captured Delphi, Athens, and Sparta.

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We have an absolutely monstrous army around Sparta, probably big enough to take out a couple of weaker civs without support.
 
Umm....what personality did you roll? I have no idea based on your report
 
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