ThERat
Deity
@Gusto, that was an absolute hilarious post 
RB30 - Open SG - Irrational Isabella
- Thread starter Kylearan
- Start date
TheArchduke
Feeling at home..
And as a clockword it happened again. The queen had a sudden change of mind. The advisors were beginning to loathe those little meetings.
"What makes the world turn round? Money! We need lots of it. And how do we get it, by trade off course. I want every single ressource that Spain doesn´t need ourselves to be traded to another nation immeaditly!"
"Your majesty, no other nation has a commodity which would interest us.", the trade advisor found the courage to intervene.
"Then we trade it for money."
"Your majesty, " the trade advisor gulped, "Even then we are not able to trade off all our surplus ressources for a profit. We have too many enemies?"
Isabella tipped with her forfinger against her chin, "How did that happen?" but then spoke up, "Well, then gift them away, do I have to do everything by myself?"
"Your majesty! But is this wise, the Germans would love to have Ivory, the Arabs our Horses and the Japanese our Iron. But given our past wars giving those military ressources away for free surely can´t be a very prudent decision....", the military advisor argued.
"I said to gift them away. Have I been unclear with my orders, general?"
"No your majesty!"
"I thought so. And construct markets in all our towns immeaditly, we need to encourage trade. And stop clearing that jungle in the north immeaditly, I want to have all our ressources connected before that."
The advisors sighed and carried out her orders..
Stop to trade with someone? Yeah right.
And after a very short reign(Damn those dies, I got not too many turns.
) Isabella fell into a sleep again.
"What makes the world turn round? Money! We need lots of it. And how do we get it, by trade off course. I want every single ressource that Spain doesn´t need ourselves to be traded to another nation immeaditly!"
"Your majesty, no other nation has a commodity which would interest us.", the trade advisor found the courage to intervene.
"Then we trade it for money."
"Your majesty, " the trade advisor gulped, "Even then we are not able to trade off all our surplus ressources for a profit. We have too many enemies?"
Isabella tipped with her forfinger against her chin, "How did that happen?" but then spoke up, "Well, then gift them away, do I have to do everything by myself?"
"Your majesty! But is this wise, the Germans would love to have Ivory, the Arabs our Horses and the Japanese our Iron. But given our past wars giving those military ressources away for free surely can´t be a very prudent decision....", the military advisor argued.
"I said to gift them away. Have I been unclear with my orders, general?"
"No your majesty!"
"I thought so. And construct markets in all our towns immeaditly, we need to encourage trade. And stop clearing that jungle in the north immeaditly, I want to have all our ressources connected before that."
The advisors sighed and carried out her orders..
Stop to trade with someone? Yeah right.
And after a very short reign(Damn those dies, I got not too many turns.
) Isabella fell into a sleep again.Attachments
TJ Eckleburg
Chieftain
Yoink. Got it
TJ Eckleburg
Chieftain
The queen awoke. "My dear advisors, you have delivered unto me so many delightful treasures. Such richness, such luxury. I'm inclined to take a little vacation."
"But my queen, Washington is here demanding corn to feed his people"
"Let my husband deal with it. I'm off to the spa. Ta!"
And so began the second reign of Ferdinand II of Aragorn.
He denied Washington the corn and watched his people work. Some came to him looking for counsel, but he offered none. Workers stood by, and troops drank quietly in their barracks.
But as all advisors know, time passes swiftly for a regent, and slowly for the rightful ruler. The delights of the spa were most intense, but a queen will be a queen, cucumber wrap or no.
"Dear, I know I shouldn't be calling the office like this, but what's to hand? Tell me great tales of my empire. What? No tales, none at all? Are you sure you don't need my gentle hand at your back? I'll just swing by after my colonic."
"My queen," simpered her advisors. "Your king is most handsome, but he seems most consumed not by the duties of state, but by an elaborate sand-table simulation several courtiers have created. He will not tend to the people, but sits rooted to the throne, late into the night muttering, 'Una mas vuelta.' He brags of the power of the código del slingshot de los leyes, but we have no such device in all of our armies. We know not what to do."
"I do. Rally to me, and sing to me of the state of my kingdom. Entertain my husband with his silly simulation while I retake my rightful place."
Isabella pored over the reports of the state of the kingdom. "Who made these trades? My husband is a madman indeed." Adivisors cast relieved glances from one to another. "Cancel any of these that make no sense. Horses to the Arabian and Iron to the hated Japanese? What madness is this? This army in the north, does anyone know what we can do with it?"
"I do, my Lady. But might I suggest we add new troops that hurl great boulders and can slaughter the enemy and batter his walls and his will?"
"That sounds most delightful. Make it so. And do let Bismark know we shall see his mustaches at the end of a pike. There's such a lovely symmetry with the spike at the top of his helmet."
"At once my lady"
And so the troops marched on Berlin again. A German raiding party was present near the borders and did some small damage, but a group of spearmen was able to attend to them. We planned to take the city, so the pillaging and looting was kept to the barest of minimums. A few farms were lost where we expected to build housing for the troops someday.
The walls of the city were high, and their people had great spirit. The Spanish troops had daring do. Reports filtered back from the front of bold charges against the well entrenched longbowmen. We needed to break their spirit.
"My queen, if I might venture. We can send horsemen to harry the German defenders. Because of the catapult attack and their defense against the horsemen who charged from the city, they are gravely wounded, but I see no other choice. They have learned flanking techniques, but still, General Alvarez gives them only a 1 in 99 chance of surviving."
"War costs, my good man. Send them to die."
"My queen! My queen! Glorious news from the front. Our horsemen refused to die, refused to retreat! They slaughtered the German longbowmen at those tremendous odds! They have opened the gates to the city, our troops pour through the walls lead by General Alvarez himself. Do we send a governor?"
"Of course. The land is good, and they have those two darling piles of stone that do so impress people."
"Simple fisherpeople along the cost report a force of German galleys with two battalions of horse archers aboard."
"Do what you can to limit the damage. Cologne is quite weak."
"Yes, my lady."
Days passed, and more reports filtered in from the front. Troops were healing in the newly captured city. The landing party hit shore, and some were killed with spearmen, but some seized workers. Generals tended to focus too much on the front, and not enough on the flanks. Ahh, the trials of a ruler. Isabella needed a break from all things martial, and bandied words with her wise men.
"Wise old seer, what do you ken?"
"My queen, we have recently learned that 'Wise men follow their own direction'"
"Have you been eating those little cookies, with the vellum bits in them, from exotic lands?"
"No, my lady. But we have learned how to reach more exotic lands. We shall need a new focus. Given the fearsome tenor of the times, might I suggest learning to store energy in cog and metal to bring it to hand when we will, not when it will?"
"Quite excellent. So be it. And do bring me one of those cookies."
.
Years passed, and the domestic advisor was pleased to announce that the empire had grown to 5 million souls
In celebration, it seems, Ciudad Isabella proclaimed love for the Queen, and worked hard to make her proud.
But all was not cookies from exotic lands. Washington's envoys appeared to demand the end to trade with the Chilly Incan. On general principles, Isabella refused, and then was flabbergasted to learn that the Chilly Incan was right behind him, suggesting a mad trade of sheep for gems. No, no my Chilly Incan, but have a fruit cup.
Peter stacked stone on stone to build a tremendous temple complex, and Angkor Wat. "What?" asked the queen.
"No my lady. Wat. It makes his priests more productive."
"So be it. By the bye, you've spoken to me before of a palace on the edge of empire that will keep the people in line. How does it proceed?"
"Well, my lady. It nears completion. You might be able to cut the ribbon this very year if you were to ribbon the backs of your slaves."
"They'll be treats at the opening," mused the mighty monarch. "So be it."
Not so long after a delightful banquet in the city of Alba where the new Forbidden Palace arose, scouts from the German front reported two additional cities, previously unknown. Forces were marshaled outside of Hamburg, and attacks on the flanks suggested trouble. "They shall fall, my lady," promised the generals.
"Alexander's emissary has arrived to cancel open borders, my lady."
"We are neither surprised, nor amused."
Troops were stacked outside the German cities, and had destroyed their horse pastures. The siege was underway. Isabella was most pleased, and enjoying a refreshing banquet when a ragged runner burst into the hall, closely pursued by her praetorians.
"The Americans! The Americans! They march upon Alba. Preserve us my queen!"
"Washington will pay for this insolence! I am sure he has marched through Saladin's lands, and he too shall feel my wrath. Generals! What have we in Alba."
"We have a lovely new Forbidden Palace, and little else. A token force of archers."
"Well then, lavish the scientists with the riches of our commerce, and let's be sure we can prepare a warm welcome for sweet George's men. Dispatch longbowmen and spearmen, and hold as best you can. I understand the force is little more than a token at this point - two divisions of swordsmen, Jumbos and horsemen?"
"Indeed, my lady"
"There will be a price. Dispatch missionaries to what were once German lands to convert their people so the priests might better organize their works."
"At once."
The years turned. Scientists proclaimed "A God from a machine". At the celebretory banquet, Isabella complained of the goat-like taste her exotic cookie had picked up from it's vellum message. Her advisors suggested that leading minds suspected that a new surface for writing could be developed, without all the skin. Isabella commanded it so.
Hamburg fell, of course. Alas, the miracle horsemen who knew flanking still better died in the assault. So pass the glories of this world. Berlin came fully under control, under stress, of course. At the banquet, Isabella perhaps overindulged in pyramid shaped stacks of jellied eels.
"My, I feel quite ill. A fierce headache coming on. Perhaps I'll have a lie down."
"But my queen, Washington is here demanding corn to feed his people"
"Let my husband deal with it. I'm off to the spa. Ta!"
And so began the second reign of Ferdinand II of Aragorn.
But as all advisors know, time passes swiftly for a regent, and slowly for the rightful ruler. The delights of the spa were most intense, but a queen will be a queen, cucumber wrap or no.
"Dear, I know I shouldn't be calling the office like this, but what's to hand? Tell me great tales of my empire. What? No tales, none at all? Are you sure you don't need my gentle hand at your back? I'll just swing by after my colonic."
"My queen," simpered her advisors. "Your king is most handsome, but he seems most consumed not by the duties of state, but by an elaborate sand-table simulation several courtiers have created. He will not tend to the people, but sits rooted to the throne, late into the night muttering, 'Una mas vuelta.' He brags of the power of the código del slingshot de los leyes, but we have no such device in all of our armies. We know not what to do."
"I do. Rally to me, and sing to me of the state of my kingdom. Entertain my husband with his silly simulation while I retake my rightful place."
Isabella pored over the reports of the state of the kingdom. "Who made these trades? My husband is a madman indeed." Adivisors cast relieved glances from one to another. "Cancel any of these that make no sense. Horses to the Arabian and Iron to the hated Japanese? What madness is this? This army in the north, does anyone know what we can do with it?"
"I do, my Lady. But might I suggest we add new troops that hurl great boulders and can slaughter the enemy and batter his walls and his will?"
"That sounds most delightful. Make it so. And do let Bismark know we shall see his mustaches at the end of a pike. There's such a lovely symmetry with the spike at the top of his helmet."
"At once my lady"
And so the troops marched on Berlin again. A German raiding party was present near the borders and did some small damage, but a group of spearmen was able to attend to them. We planned to take the city, so the pillaging and looting was kept to the barest of minimums. A few farms were lost where we expected to build housing for the troops someday.
The walls of the city were high, and their people had great spirit. The Spanish troops had daring do. Reports filtered back from the front of bold charges against the well entrenched longbowmen. We needed to break their spirit.
"My queen, if I might venture. We can send horsemen to harry the German defenders. Because of the catapult attack and their defense against the horsemen who charged from the city, they are gravely wounded, but I see no other choice. They have learned flanking techniques, but still, General Alvarez gives them only a 1 in 99 chance of surviving."
"War costs, my good man. Send them to die."
"My queen! My queen! Glorious news from the front. Our horsemen refused to die, refused to retreat! They slaughtered the German longbowmen at those tremendous odds! They have opened the gates to the city, our troops pour through the walls lead by General Alvarez himself. Do we send a governor?"
"Of course. The land is good, and they have those two darling piles of stone that do so impress people."
"Simple fisherpeople along the cost report a force of German galleys with two battalions of horse archers aboard."
"Do what you can to limit the damage. Cologne is quite weak."
"Yes, my lady."
Days passed, and more reports filtered in from the front. Troops were healing in the newly captured city. The landing party hit shore, and some were killed with spearmen, but some seized workers. Generals tended to focus too much on the front, and not enough on the flanks. Ahh, the trials of a ruler. Isabella needed a break from all things martial, and bandied words with her wise men.
"Wise old seer, what do you ken?"
"My queen, we have recently learned that 'Wise men follow their own direction'"
"Have you been eating those little cookies, with the vellum bits in them, from exotic lands?"
"No, my lady. But we have learned how to reach more exotic lands. We shall need a new focus. Given the fearsome tenor of the times, might I suggest learning to store energy in cog and metal to bring it to hand when we will, not when it will?"
"Quite excellent. So be it. And do bring me one of those cookies."
.
Years passed, and the domestic advisor was pleased to announce that the empire had grown to 5 million souls
In celebration, it seems, Ciudad Isabella proclaimed love for the Queen, and worked hard to make her proud.
But all was not cookies from exotic lands. Washington's envoys appeared to demand the end to trade with the Chilly Incan. On general principles, Isabella refused, and then was flabbergasted to learn that the Chilly Incan was right behind him, suggesting a mad trade of sheep for gems. No, no my Chilly Incan, but have a fruit cup.
Peter stacked stone on stone to build a tremendous temple complex, and Angkor Wat. "What?" asked the queen.
"No my lady. Wat. It makes his priests more productive."
"So be it. By the bye, you've spoken to me before of a palace on the edge of empire that will keep the people in line. How does it proceed?"
"Well, my lady. It nears completion. You might be able to cut the ribbon this very year if you were to ribbon the backs of your slaves."
"They'll be treats at the opening," mused the mighty monarch. "So be it."
Not so long after a delightful banquet in the city of Alba where the new Forbidden Palace arose, scouts from the German front reported two additional cities, previously unknown. Forces were marshaled outside of Hamburg, and attacks on the flanks suggested trouble. "They shall fall, my lady," promised the generals.
"Alexander's emissary has arrived to cancel open borders, my lady."
"We are neither surprised, nor amused."
Troops were stacked outside the German cities, and had destroyed their horse pastures. The siege was underway. Isabella was most pleased, and enjoying a refreshing banquet when a ragged runner burst into the hall, closely pursued by her praetorians.
"The Americans! The Americans! They march upon Alba. Preserve us my queen!"
"Washington will pay for this insolence! I am sure he has marched through Saladin's lands, and he too shall feel my wrath. Generals! What have we in Alba."
"We have a lovely new Forbidden Palace, and little else. A token force of archers."
"Well then, lavish the scientists with the riches of our commerce, and let's be sure we can prepare a warm welcome for sweet George's men. Dispatch longbowmen and spearmen, and hold as best you can. I understand the force is little more than a token at this point - two divisions of swordsmen, Jumbos and horsemen?"
"Indeed, my lady"
"There will be a price. Dispatch missionaries to what were once German lands to convert their people so the priests might better organize their works."
"At once."
The years turned. Scientists proclaimed "A God from a machine". At the celebretory banquet, Isabella complained of the goat-like taste her exotic cookie had picked up from it's vellum message. Her advisors suggested that leading minds suspected that a new surface for writing could be developed, without all the skin. Isabella commanded it so.
Hamburg fell, of course. Alas, the miracle horsemen who knew flanking still better died in the assault. So pass the glories of this world. Berlin came fully under control, under stress, of course. At the banquet, Isabella perhaps overindulged in pyramid shaped stacks of jellied eels.
"My, I feel quite ill. A fierce headache coming on. Perhaps I'll have a lie down."
Kodii
Ka ICE
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! GOT IT 
Kodii
Ka ICE
Isabella couldn't sleep. She felt as if something was incomplete. Then she realized... "MY TROOPS HAVEN'T FINISHED MOVING YET." And so she stormed off to finish the day's work without rest.
The next morning, Izzy was suffering from sleep deprivation. "Let's... uum...
fast.... things.... build...." And with that, she fell asleep.
The governors of the cities were not sure what to do, so they took their queen's words to heart and decided to build... things. And fast. And so things were built.
Posters were sent all across the nation. "ALL PEOPLE MUST WORK SOLELY ON BUILDING.... THINGS."
Production was so successful that workers discovered a new source of gold near Alba!
The people were encouraged and successfully took the German city of Essen.
Even more encouraged, they decided to build an Academy in the city named after their glorious queen.
The Incan and Arabian leaders asked the people to declare war on the other, but the people yelled back in their faces, saying, "THAT IS NOT PRODUCTIVE!" At this moment, the people realized how unproductive war was, and so they called peace with Germany. "Oh how our glorious Queen would be proud of us!"
The town of Build Things was founded near the glorious capital and things were good. The people so desperately wanted to produce things efficiently but could not convince the silly Americans to have peace.
Once again, the productiveness of the people payed off, and a new source of copper was discovered at Ciudad Isabella.
Paper was discovered and the people wanted to make even more, so they decided to look into producing a "Printing Press" to help with production!
Suddenly Isabella awoke. She recevied news of what her people had done and fainted. Doctors predict she will reawaken tomorrow morning.
Prescription
The next morning, Izzy was suffering from sleep deprivation. "Let's... uum...
fast.... things.... build...." And with that, she fell asleep.
The governors of the cities were not sure what to do, so they took their queen's words to heart and decided to build... things. And fast. And so things were built.
Posters were sent all across the nation. "ALL PEOPLE MUST WORK SOLELY ON BUILDING.... THINGS."
Production was so successful that workers discovered a new source of gold near Alba!
The people were encouraged and successfully took the German city of Essen.
Even more encouraged, they decided to build an Academy in the city named after their glorious queen.
The Incan and Arabian leaders asked the people to declare war on the other, but the people yelled back in their faces, saying, "THAT IS NOT PRODUCTIVE!" At this moment, the people realized how unproductive war was, and so they called peace with Germany. "Oh how our glorious Queen would be proud of us!"
The town of Build Things was founded near the glorious capital and things were good. The people so desperately wanted to produce things efficiently but could not convince the silly Americans to have peace.
Once again, the productiveness of the people payed off, and a new source of copper was discovered at Ciudad Isabella.
Paper was discovered and the people wanted to make even more, so they decided to look into producing a "Printing Press" to help with production!
Suddenly Isabella awoke. She recevied news of what her people had done and fainted. Doctors predict she will reawaken tomorrow morning.
Prescription
Excellent.
Claimed.
Claimed.
Slowly, Isabella opened her eyes. She was lying on the floor of the royal verandah, staring at the skies.
She could sense courtiers hovering nervously around her but her attention was transfixed by a brown bird, moving swiftly across the skies.
Standing, she turned to the nearest courtier. "You, what is that magnificent creature flying so free across the skies." she said pointing at the bird.
"Why, your majesty" stammered the terriffied courtier "it is but a hawk."
"A hawk." intoned Isabella. "Yes I see. From now on the royal crest of Spain shall be a hawk. We shall be free from all earthly shackles like the hawk you see in front of us. Oh, and better beef up the military while your at it."
......
"Does a hawk have need of Paper, Huayana. You should open your mind to the wider reality."
"Maybe this will help you alter your reality to that of the hawk."
"What should we do about the continual American incursions." General Inigo Montayo asked of Isabella.
"Do as the hawk would do General."
"I, um, see, your highness. Would this suffice?"
"Ah, Peter. You are indeed a man of much wisdom, for does not the Hawk value sight above all other senses."
[Actually beat him down to CS, as everyone else has it but forgot to take piccie]
"Now General. Do we not have the finest armies in all the known world."
"We do, majesty but, um, what shall we do with them?"
"I leave that in the hands of others General. I'm off for a bit of kip."
http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/88650/RB30_Irrational_Isabella_AD-1412.Civ4SavedGame
She could sense courtiers hovering nervously around her but her attention was transfixed by a brown bird, moving swiftly across the skies.
Standing, she turned to the nearest courtier. "You, what is that magnificent creature flying so free across the skies." she said pointing at the bird.
"Why, your majesty" stammered the terriffied courtier "it is but a hawk."
"A hawk." intoned Isabella. "Yes I see. From now on the royal crest of Spain shall be a hawk. We shall be free from all earthly shackles like the hawk you see in front of us. Oh, and better beef up the military while your at it."
......
"Does a hawk have need of Paper, Huayana. You should open your mind to the wider reality."
"Maybe this will help you alter your reality to that of the hawk."
"What should we do about the continual American incursions." General Inigo Montayo asked of Isabella.
"Do as the hawk would do General."
"I, um, see, your highness. Would this suffice?"
"Ah, Peter. You are indeed a man of much wisdom, for does not the Hawk value sight above all other senses."
[Actually beat him down to CS, as everyone else has it but forgot to take piccie]
"Now General. Do we not have the finest armies in all the known world."
"We do, majesty but, um, what shall we do with them?"
"I leave that in the hands of others General. I'm off for a bit of kip."
http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/88650/RB30_Irrational_Isabella_AD-1412.Civ4SavedGame
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
Later that night, Isabella woke from a nightmare. She remembers dreaming about 3 giant dice that rolled and rolled and finally stopped with a total of -4 showing. "How can this be?" she thought. However, she was able to roll herself over and go back to sleep.
[OOC - I could have claimed, but when I rolled my 3d6+4 turns, the result was zero. Thus I claimed, played my zero turns and released the save to the next person]
[OOC - I could have claimed, but when I rolled my 3d6+4 turns, the result was zero. Thus I claimed, played my zero turns and released the save to the next person]
ruff_hi
Live 4ever! Or die trying
where is the "well, derrrrrrrrrrrr" smilie! Of course I couldn't roll a zero with 3d6+4 but the save was there, no claim in site and it was just crying out for a silly post.
pindicator
Emperor
don't tell me this is about to go 24h without a turn report 
Kylearan
compound eye
Yay, I've get to play this a second time! Got it.
Got it.
Kylearan
compound eye
What a night! The evening before she was pondering about what to do with that big army in Alba: Send it against that stupid oaf Washington, who was at war with mighty Spain? Or just declare war on another opponent, crushing him? She had decided to sleep over that decision, but that night hat been horrible. First she had had that nightmare about giant dice rolling the impossible. Then there had been another nightmare, in which she ran around her advisors, shouting "I'll decide what to do right now! I'll tell you what to do in just a minute! Yes, I've got it! I know what to do! Really!", but never actually did something, leading to her advisors all pointing their fingers at her, laughing and taunting her...
In the morning she had another bad headache, but she was used to that by now. But something was different this time...she felt...weird. Her thoughts seemed to have...an echo of sorts, deep down in her head. And it felt as if there was somebody else present...
She shuddered. Maybe it was because of that stuff she had smoked yesterday evening, that stuff from that faraway land which had made her feel so good? Which helped her to feel happy for once, which filled her with a sense of freedom, and made her drunk with love for her people? Come to think of it, drunk with love for some of her people especially, her closest advisors to be exact...she vaguely remembered summoning them, doing...wonderful things with them...and them with her as well...she shuddered again, this time with delight.
Last night's meeting...uh, party...okay, let's be honest: orgy, had helped her to see clearly what to do with her mighty empire, though. Finally, she knew exactly what to do! Yes, oh yes, she knew exactly what to do...
She summoned her military advisor, which involved climbing over a sleeping trade advisor, gently removing a city governor's naked body from the military advisor's embrace, and having to shake the military advisor violently before he finally awoke with a groan.
"Yes, my lady...*yawn*...what can I do for..." His eyes slowly opened, and then suddenly widened as his gaze fell upon the city governor. "Why...what..." he stammered, then the realization dawned what had happened the last night, and his face reddened.
"Nothing to be ashamed of, my dear advisor.", Isabella laughed happily. "In fact, last night's, uh, meeting has finally revealed to me what this empire is missing: Love! No, not only our empire, but in fact the whole world needs love. And innovation!", she added in a high-pitched voice. She paused, frowning in confusion, but then continued in her normal voice. "I want us to make peace with our dear friend Washington at once!"
"What?", gasped the military advisor. "But...we have gathered a mighty army in Alba, ready to strike and capable of crushing even the strongest opponent with ease, my lady! I thought we had planned to declare war on..."
"Stop!", snapped Isabella. "No more of this! This war with Washington is wrong. Just plain wrong! Make peace with him now! We are all brothers and sisters, and shall not fight each other!". Her voice changed into a high-pitched tone again. "Instead, we should concentrate on researching exciting new things! Make science, not war!". She paused again, shaking her head slightly. "No, I mean we should make love, not war. Love! Now go and tell Washington of these good news. But don't forget to dress first", she added with a diabolic smile. With a red face, the military advisor disappeared.
He returned some time later. "My lady, while I disapprove of ending a war which we are about to win, at least he is willing to give us his maps and a lot of money as concessions!", he said.
"No, we cannot accept such a deal.", Isabella said. "We have brought down a lot of misery upon the poor Americans, so please tell him we are very sorry about that war, and are happy to make peace for free."
"But, but, why, I mean, we cannot...", stammered the military advisor, taken aback. "Yes, why should we do this?", Isabella said in her high-pitched voice. "We could use that money to fund our research...". She frowned, shook her head, and said, "No, what nonsense am I babbling here? Just make peace, for free! Do it now!"
Confused and giving Isabella a strange look, the military advisor cautiously said, "Yes, my lady."
"And while we are at it, I think our army is way too large! Tell our forces to return back to their homes! They should care for their loving families instead of risking their lives in senseless wars.", Isabella said. "Tell our most experience archers and longbowmen that they are relieved of their duties. May they use their expertise to hunt in the woods, to gather food for their home towns!"
"And swords to ploughshares, I say! Use these catapults to build ploughs, and let those horses drag them!"
"And these men would serve our empire better if they went to the labs instead of wielding a sword! Tell them to join our research staff, immediately!"
"But haven't you just said our forces should return to their homes, my Lady?", the military advisor asked, clearly confused.
"To the labs, I say! Do it! Now! And where's my science advisor?", Isabella screamed.
"Uh...he's lying over there", the military advisor answered. "He seems to be...quite exhausted. No wonder if you ask me, after what you did to him last night...", the military advisor added, envy in his voice, then hurried off.
After the military advisor had left, the queen of Spain silently stood still for some time. "To the labs?!? What was I thinking?", she murmured to herself. "Of course to the labs! We need to double our research efforts! We need to discover new technologies! New techs will solve all our problems, and will make the world a better place!", Isabella answered herself, again in a strange, high-pitched voice.
"No, love will! Love!", she continued, confused and slightly worried. "Love, bah! Such an emotional thing...won't help us in advancing our knowledge, not a bit! Clear and rational thinking, on the other hand, will!" "Clear and rational thinking...can't say this is one of my strengths these days..."
She woke up the science advisor, and told him in her high-pitched voice to change research immediately from Printing Press to Education. "And to speed up research, we need more money! Tell the minister of trade to sell as many spare resources and techs as possible, so that we can fund this great research project!"
Wearily, the science advisor said, "Yes, my love...er, I mean my Lady, sorry for that. Could you...by any chance...when I return, could you do again what you did to me last night?", he added hopefully.
"What? No way!", Isabella answered with a horrified expression. "The thought alone lets me want to...want to...". She fell silent, shuddered, then suddenly her voice returned to normal and a voluptuous expression appeared on her face. "Sure, why not? Just hurry, will you? I'll try to wake the city governor in the meantime, so he can join us..." With a ecstatic look, the science advisor left the room.
Isabella went over to the city governor, and suddenly shuddered again, paused, then slapped the governor straight in his face. Startled, he awoke. "Don't waste my time sleeping, man! There's a lot of work to do! Tell all our cities to emphasize science, at once!"
With that, she left the room and went into her private study, thinking about how to educate people so they could advance science all over the world.
Later, she was disturbed by her foreign advisor (all the other advisors had decided to leave her alone after all, seeing how oddly she was acting). "My Lady, Elizabeth of the English asks if we could share our knowledge of Paper with her!"
"Sure, why not? This will greatly help the international science community, if they will be able to write down their latest discoveries and share them with the rest of the world! Yes, give Paper to her."
Later, the foreign advisor came again. "My Lady, now Tokugawa of the Japanese asks for Civil Service! Shall we give it to him as well?"
"What? That oaf! Of course not, what does he think? I can't see how Civil Service will improve the world's knowledge at all! Imagine the growing bureaucracy in Japan...having to go through all the red tape for each science project surely won't help him. No, send him away!"
Then, finally, nobody distracted her any longer from her studies, and so the principle of Education was finally discovered in 1478AD. The breakthrough was made by a man called Tycho Brahe, a fellow scientist from 8th Wonder (formerly known as El Martillo), who immediately joined the city to help educate the masses in the soon-to-be-built university!
In the morning she had another bad headache, but she was used to that by now. But something was different this time...she felt...weird. Her thoughts seemed to have...an echo of sorts, deep down in her head. And it felt as if there was somebody else present...
She shuddered. Maybe it was because of that stuff she had smoked yesterday evening, that stuff from that faraway land which had made her feel so good? Which helped her to feel happy for once, which filled her with a sense of freedom, and made her drunk with love for her people? Come to think of it, drunk with love for some of her people especially, her closest advisors to be exact...she vaguely remembered summoning them, doing...wonderful things with them...and them with her as well...she shuddered again, this time with delight.
Last night's meeting...uh, party...okay, let's be honest: orgy, had helped her to see clearly what to do with her mighty empire, though. Finally, she knew exactly what to do! Yes, oh yes, she knew exactly what to do...
She summoned her military advisor, which involved climbing over a sleeping trade advisor, gently removing a city governor's naked body from the military advisor's embrace, and having to shake the military advisor violently before he finally awoke with a groan.
"Yes, my lady...*yawn*...what can I do for..." His eyes slowly opened, and then suddenly widened as his gaze fell upon the city governor. "Why...what..." he stammered, then the realization dawned what had happened the last night, and his face reddened.
"Nothing to be ashamed of, my dear advisor.", Isabella laughed happily. "In fact, last night's, uh, meeting has finally revealed to me what this empire is missing: Love! No, not only our empire, but in fact the whole world needs love. And innovation!", she added in a high-pitched voice. She paused, frowning in confusion, but then continued in her normal voice. "I want us to make peace with our dear friend Washington at once!"
"What?", gasped the military advisor. "But...we have gathered a mighty army in Alba, ready to strike and capable of crushing even the strongest opponent with ease, my lady! I thought we had planned to declare war on..."
"Stop!", snapped Isabella. "No more of this! This war with Washington is wrong. Just plain wrong! Make peace with him now! We are all brothers and sisters, and shall not fight each other!". Her voice changed into a high-pitched tone again. "Instead, we should concentrate on researching exciting new things! Make science, not war!". She paused again, shaking her head slightly. "No, I mean we should make love, not war. Love! Now go and tell Washington of these good news. But don't forget to dress first", she added with a diabolic smile. With a red face, the military advisor disappeared.
He returned some time later. "My lady, while I disapprove of ending a war which we are about to win, at least he is willing to give us his maps and a lot of money as concessions!", he said.
"No, we cannot accept such a deal.", Isabella said. "We have brought down a lot of misery upon the poor Americans, so please tell him we are very sorry about that war, and are happy to make peace for free."
"But, but, why, I mean, we cannot...", stammered the military advisor, taken aback. "Yes, why should we do this?", Isabella said in her high-pitched voice. "We could use that money to fund our research...". She frowned, shook her head, and said, "No, what nonsense am I babbling here? Just make peace, for free! Do it now!"
Confused and giving Isabella a strange look, the military advisor cautiously said, "Yes, my lady."
"And while we are at it, I think our army is way too large! Tell our forces to return back to their homes! They should care for their loving families instead of risking their lives in senseless wars.", Isabella said. "Tell our most experience archers and longbowmen that they are relieved of their duties. May they use their expertise to hunt in the woods, to gather food for their home towns!"
"And swords to ploughshares, I say! Use these catapults to build ploughs, and let those horses drag them!"
"And these men would serve our empire better if they went to the labs instead of wielding a sword! Tell them to join our research staff, immediately!"
"But haven't you just said our forces should return to their homes, my Lady?", the military advisor asked, clearly confused.
"To the labs, I say! Do it! Now! And where's my science advisor?", Isabella screamed.
"Uh...he's lying over there", the military advisor answered. "He seems to be...quite exhausted. No wonder if you ask me, after what you did to him last night...", the military advisor added, envy in his voice, then hurried off.
After the military advisor had left, the queen of Spain silently stood still for some time. "To the labs?!? What was I thinking?", she murmured to herself. "Of course to the labs! We need to double our research efforts! We need to discover new technologies! New techs will solve all our problems, and will make the world a better place!", Isabella answered herself, again in a strange, high-pitched voice.
"No, love will! Love!", she continued, confused and slightly worried. "Love, bah! Such an emotional thing...won't help us in advancing our knowledge, not a bit! Clear and rational thinking, on the other hand, will!" "Clear and rational thinking...can't say this is one of my strengths these days..."
She woke up the science advisor, and told him in her high-pitched voice to change research immediately from Printing Press to Education. "And to speed up research, we need more money! Tell the minister of trade to sell as many spare resources and techs as possible, so that we can fund this great research project!"
Wearily, the science advisor said, "Yes, my love...er, I mean my Lady, sorry for that. Could you...by any chance...when I return, could you do again what you did to me last night?", he added hopefully.
"What? No way!", Isabella answered with a horrified expression. "The thought alone lets me want to...want to...". She fell silent, shuddered, then suddenly her voice returned to normal and a voluptuous expression appeared on her face. "Sure, why not? Just hurry, will you? I'll try to wake the city governor in the meantime, so he can join us..." With a ecstatic look, the science advisor left the room.
Isabella went over to the city governor, and suddenly shuddered again, paused, then slapped the governor straight in his face. Startled, he awoke. "Don't waste my time sleeping, man! There's a lot of work to do! Tell all our cities to emphasize science, at once!"
With that, she left the room and went into her private study, thinking about how to educate people so they could advance science all over the world.
Later, she was disturbed by her foreign advisor (all the other advisors had decided to leave her alone after all, seeing how oddly she was acting). "My Lady, Elizabeth of the English asks if we could share our knowledge of Paper with her!"
"Sure, why not? This will greatly help the international science community, if they will be able to write down their latest discoveries and share them with the rest of the world! Yes, give Paper to her."
Later, the foreign advisor came again. "My Lady, now Tokugawa of the Japanese asks for Civil Service! Shall we give it to him as well?"
"What? That oaf! Of course not, what does he think? I can't see how Civil Service will improve the world's knowledge at all! Imagine the growing bureaucracy in Japan...having to go through all the red tape for each science project surely won't help him. No, send him away!"
Then, finally, nobody distracted her any longer from her studies, and so the principle of Education was finally discovered in 1478AD. The breakthrough was made by a man called Tycho Brahe, a fellow scientist from 8th Wonder (formerly known as El Martillo), who immediately joined the city to help educate the masses in the soon-to-be-built university!
Kylearan
compound eye
Oh man, talk about a strange roll of the dice...
Our main army is in Alba, but we have lots of units scattered all over the empire as well which could be used for another war easily.
I built us a lot of workers, as there are still a lot of tiles to improve. I've also concentrated on building more cottages, and built lots of science buildings in our cities, plus some longbows to relieve some attack forces from having to guard our cities.
I broke one of my rules: I should have disbanded our most experienced macemen, but I couldn't do that as he was Fernando Alvarez.
I disbanded our second most advanced mace instead...
Here's our corner of the world:
Who will take this next?
-Kylearan
Our main army is in Alba, but we have lots of units scattered all over the empire as well which could be used for another war easily.
I built us a lot of workers, as there are still a lot of tiles to improve. I've also concentrated on building more cottages, and built lots of science buildings in our cities, plus some longbows to relieve some attack forces from having to guard our cities.
I broke one of my rules: I should have disbanded our most experienced macemen, but I couldn't do that as he was Fernando Alvarez.
I disbanded our second most advanced mace instead...Here's our corner of the world:
Who will take this next?
-Kylearan
Similar threads
