RBD5 Succession - French Musketeer Artillery Variant

[Charis]

1888 AD (0) - Review of the status shows we're looking to continue or finish
the smackdown of Persia. Bactra and Samaria should go down next turn, and a
set of 4 is within range of Pepe's killer squadrons after that.
There is a build up of troops outside Rome. Treaties end with Rome in 8,
conventiently right about when Persia should be no more. NO treaties with
Greece, nor should we start any new ones! SETI due very soon.

1890 AD (1) - Persia begs for peace (when they really should be groveling)

Less shelling than normal at Bactra, and it costs us a tank. But we take
out about four inf and a rifle, and the city. Similar at Samaria, light
shelling, tanks cruise in, one becomes elite, city falls.

Jeepers!! Pepe has REALLY amassed quite a squadron of doom! Took forever
to rebase to Pasagardae

Five immortals raid Madagascar

1892 AD (2) - First thing to drop this round is the barracks at Perseopolis!

Three up, three down at Sardis!

Ack! I thought a stack of seven tanks was enough at the Gordium know.
Eight ancient defenders. Too bad no cavs left... hmmm... there *ARE* some.
Can Gordium stand?? Neigh! And next to the cav a sleeping TANK ARMY??
Sheesh, gross display of power there. Well, they can't climb aboard a
helicopter, so they go back to sleep til Rome.

1894 AD (3) - Would I like to hold elections at the U.N.??? Sorry, no,
I'm trying to wipe out one of the voting members. Talk to the hand!

Time for Gordium to go down. Somehow more inf appear. Send an elite or
vet? Good think I picked elite, it went down to 1hp. And... in the
victory, a great leader Richelieu was borne!!
(Kind of expected one with the huge number of elite victories goin' on)

Finally, the Gordium Knot slips.

Hmmm, we can make mech infantry now? What does Pepe think?? Not on MY
shift he says!! "What good is infantry that runs ahead faster than our
glorious artillery?!" Others in the government disagree, and say we have
to modernize our military. Pepe spits gum at them!

1895 AD (4) - The gum emblazened general did not take kindly to Pepe!
He *immediately* invited Richilieu over for a discussion of modernization
of the army, and in fact Richy formed a new army brigade... of *MECH* inf!
When Pepe heard the news he just about went ballistic! As Field Commander of
the Persian forces, he *ordered* the Army not to leave his sight, he would
be all over it like foul odor on a bull! Pepe also ordered the rush
production of a personal transport for himself, this army, and glorious
artillery, to get them all off Persia and into the next conflict when
the time arose. This transport is with a battleship outside Samaria.
In fact an entire Carrier group is put under Pepe's command!!
His personal helicopter is shifted over to Samaria as well.

Susa is captured, and then... Perseopolis! (The airport mysteriously
disappeared.) Next cities have a bit of a gap, and we request a settler.
That leaves only *THREE* Persian cities left.

Darn... miniturization is a wicked expensive tech. We'll not make radar,
methinks.

1896 AD (5) - Lots of quelling, resistances ending.
1898 AD (6) - Global warming at Milday d'Winter. That's ironic!
We found "Kouming Phour Ewe" to get a few extra steps towards Arbela.
Shelling takes out the Arbela airport (figures). And 13 of 14 citizens.
It's captured this round as well

Ghulaman is the last city of Persia left. It is SO toast. This next turn.

Pepe is not far from there, on a hill with a mini-SOD (stack of Doom).
He's about ready to head to Samaria and lead the way to Rome.

Be fair about the treaties, consolidate, get in position all set,
outside his territory, then let him have it. We still remember the
early days!!

Charis
Jaffa <<< up
Sirian <<< on deck
Cy

Good luck,
Charis

 

[Sirian]

"His Personal Helicopter"

"Talk to the Hand!"

Mini-SOD


:shotgun:

 

[Jaffa Tamarin]

0) 1898AD Let's see. Miniaturization in 17 turns (!) Offshore Platforms, eh -- now there's something I've never built.

What happened in Athos? Production slipped down below 100 shields? Did somebody irrigate somewhere -- no, one of the Porthos citizens sneaked in and stole a mine! If Pepe wasn't so busy in Persia, there would be serious trouble.

1) 1900AD Okay, X-man, you're going down! Pepe, give the word!

Two infantry, and a longbowman, and the Persians are history And who's this, clambering out of the rubble? Why, De Gaulle, a pleasure to meet you. Again Have some tanks, go make an army or something.

Okay, we need to get our troops out of Persia. Pepe orders the completion of the airport at Pasargadae, which gives us four airports on the island, and catches the first flight out to Pisae, to supervise preparations for the conquest of Rome.

Pepe's second-in-command, Lieutenant Fifi, organises a transport for the mech infantry army and the precious artillery.

Round up some of our sleeping settlers, and build some, err, "holiday camps" along the Greek borders. Oooh, I'm sorry, Alexander. Did those squares use to be in your territory?

Two turns of MPP with Rome remaining...

Rome calls to cancel our RoP agreement. Is the AI actually taking notice of our troop buildup on his borders?

2) 1902AD Our mega-artillery-stack-of-DOOM moves to the Roman border to be commanded personally by Pepe himself.

We complete the SETI program. Whooo! Alien musketeers!

Rome comes calling to complain about a couple of workers we still have in his territory. Whatever. We'll just move them away behind this *huge* pile of tanks that we happen to have here. Will that be okay, Ceasar?

3) 1904AD We cancel our expired MPP with Rome. Ceasar is annoyed. Such ingratitude! We declare war!

Target one, Jerusalem. Brief artillery bombardment by a mere half-dozen units reduces both defenders to 1hp, and our tanks roll over the town (auto-razed).

Target two, Viroconium. Bombers out of Pisae take the town down to size 6. Our two cavalry units kill two defending riflemen, and then we run out of cavalry units. Drat.

Target three, Antium. Bombing runs out of Pisae (again), and captured by tanks.

Pepe leads our artillery stack onwards towards Rome!

4) 1906AD Our glorious tanks capture the Roman capital! Three times! (Rome razed, capital moves to Cumae, we capture Cumae, capital moves to Veii, we capture Veii ).

Another Great Leader is inspired to join the glorious French cause!

5) 1908AD A tank finds a barbarian camp in the north Persia mountains. We win 25g! Ooooh

Our glorious tanks and artillery and etc continue to advance through Rome. We capture Neapolis this turn.

 

[Jaffa Tamarin]

Rome -- a light snack between meals.

 

[Charis]

OMG I bust a gut reading that!

M'eers... in... space.... (liftoff!)

Not goin' there but if we did... WHO ON EARTH but our glorious wunderkinder, the Musketeers, could POSSIBLY figure out how to construct and fly a spaceship?? I mean, sheeeeesh, these other clowns can't even stuff a 20 pound projectile in a howitzer. (Is it a union thing?!)

Fifi's Garden spot


Charis

 

[Zed-F]

Hmm, Domination is enabled, right? Should be fairly close then (ya, well last time I thought that...) Make sure you don't neglect those temples.

EDIT -- oops, my bad then. As Sirian pointed out, Domination's not enabled, so feel free to ignore this post.

 

[Sirian]

No, it's not. Domination and Space disabled. My turn here, but not sure when I will play it. Cy's got other matters occupying his attention, too, so... Charis, if you're on Famine, feel free to jump in. Otherwise I'll get to it as I can.

- Sirian

 

[Sirian]

I'm still up in this game. If anybody else is sitting around begging for something to do, feel free to jump in and grab a turn. I expect to play by the end of the holiday weekend, probably, but may fit in the two 5cc games first, plus lots of other stuff, etc etc. If I do get around to this one, I'll post a "got it" before I start playing so there's no conflicts with anybody jumping in. Hope those of you celebrating have a productive weekend.

- Sirian

 

[Sirian]

I see that everyone else was as busy as me.

OK, I'm playing my turn now. :shotgun:

 

[Sirian]

Fighting Soldiers... from the sky.

Fearless M'eers... who jump and die.

Enemy Forces... shake with fear.

At barest glimpse... of the Para'M'eer.

 

[Sirian]

On the left... the before picture. On the right... AFTER Pepe shoots his guns. :shotgun:

 

[Arathorn]

How do you have the patience???? Oy vey! Glorious, may be, but tedious, in this poor bourgeios's opinion.

Arathorn

 

[Sirian]

Fifi: "Pepe le Pew, what ARE we going to do with all these Greek horses once you are done annhilating them?"

Pepe: "The horses? We'll give them a decent burial of course. Now the Greek soldiers, that's another matter."

Fifi: "Pepe!"

Pepe: "Oh for goodness sake, Fifi. I'm only kidding. We'll let Zsa Zsa open a leather factory, I suppose. And don't youre little poodles need something to eat? Yet... so many brave Greeks hopelessly charging into our artillery range. You almost have to admire their complete stupidity, Fifi. I suppose I'll just have to open a glue factory. My my, there really ARE a lot of them out there. Somebody fetch my Ceremonial Matches, please. It is time to Fire the Guns."


After Pepe demonstrated the infallibility of M'eer Mortal aiming... the tanks rolled to mop up.

 

[Sirian]

Pepe le Pew awoke to his right hand, Fifi, vigorously shaking him at the Palace in Athos, in the middle of the night.

"Pepe! Pepe! I have had a vision! Oh, it is most glorious! You must awaken!"

Pepe rolled out of bed, reached for the mini-howitzer by his bedside, fired it at the gas lamp, which ignited to illuminate the royal bedroom. "Fifi?"

"I have come up with a plan to defeat the evil Greeks!"

Pepe rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Oui. I am listening."

Fifi excitedly paced the floor. "The Greeks believe they can stand against us, but we know they cannot. What we must do is SHOW THEM the hopelessness of their situation, Pepe. We must convince them once and for all that they cannot match our glorious artillery."

As Pepe nodded, he yawned hugely. "Uh huh."

Fifi clapped with pleasure. "I knew you would like it!"

Pepe blinked, wondered what it was he had liked, then rolled back into bed as Fifi ran out of the room. Zzzzzzzz...


Two months later, Fifi's Fabulous Frigate was constructed at the shipyards in Cannes. Fifi set sail on this wooden vessel, sailing right up to a Greek City under siege, unconcerned about their naval forces, coastal defenses, or fortified positions.

Using a bullhorn as the frigate sailed past the Greek barracks, Fifi announced, "This is Fifi, and I have come to deliver the decisive blow to your puny forces. Surrender now, or face my guns."

The Greeks did not surrender, and so Fifi, aboard Fifi's Fabulous Frigate, did display such expertise and aim as to fire saltpeter cannon from the side of a swaying wooden ship on a choppy sea... and LAND EVERY SINGLE SHOT UPON THE ENEMY INFANTRY, killing fully one third of them in less than an hour.

So it happened, so the Greeks came to despair, and knew they would be defeated, for No One can possibly cope with the Glorious French Musketeer Artillery.


FIFI's FABULOUS FRIGATE DELIVERS THE KNOCKOUT PUNCH:

 

[Sirian]

1000 units! No wonder Zed vanished from this game a while ago.

 

[Sirian]

IT 1908AD: I moved a few troops across Greek rails, then cancelled the Right of Passage and all other deals. I drafted a couple dozen mechs, mostly from Japan.

1910AD: Alex demands we move our troops out of his territory. I stare at him in perplexity, as I already did this. He whines and moans about "coastal waters" and I realize I overlooked a ship or two. Good grief, what an @$$. (Ah yes, the convenient excuse I need to declare war on Greece, how perfect!).

The dominoes set up in Rome by Jaffa are knocked down. I disband a conscript inf in one newly captured Roman city and rush an airport on the same turn. Our glorious Para'M'eers are brought in in droves for the final assault.

Nibbled off the southernmost Greek cities, then battoned the hatches, as he has 83 cavalry.

1912AD: Alex spends 12 of his cavalry attacking our cities. He has 71 left. Most of them move in a major SOD toward Pepe's location on the Greek border. (DID THEY SENSE THE THREAT? They threw everything they had RIGHT AT PEPE!)

1914AD: Greece has 10 cavs left.

Oh yeah: conquered Rome. Our glorious Paratroops dropped in on his last three cities and overran their incompetent defenses.

1918AD: Fifi's Fabulous Frigate delivers the DECISIVE BLOW to Greek morale at Phocaea. Their fate is now sealed. (And yes, it actually was a strategically important hit, softening up an infantry for our most forward-advancing tanks to take the city!) Sometimes it's better to be Glorious and Skilled like Fifi than it is to be lucky.

1920AD: Pepe marvels at what his Glorious M'eer pilots can do at the helm of a bomber. With Pepe's coordination, French planes are flying over countless cities: the harbingers of doom.

Oh yeah, Pepe burned Athens to the ground. :shotgun: In its place were founded the cities of New Athos, New Porthos, New Aramis, and D'Artagnon. Pepe asked our great general Charlemagne to oversee the construction of the NEW French Palace in D'Artagnon.

1922AD: Greece conquered. Game over.


I played seven turns. Well... six and a half. I did the minimum on the final turn to complete the conquest, and everything else is standing around untouched. Tinker or observe as you please. If you do nothing but hit end of turn, the score is 6311.

There were a couple of moments in my first turns when I had the ground forces to press on, but no bombardment in place, so I had to stop and wait. I was not having that problem any more by the end. Enjoy the replay.


Our Glorious M'eers, etc etc - 1922AD

 

[Jaffa Tamarin]

Hah! Conquest it is! None of these namby-pamby cultural victories for Pepe and Fifi

 

[Charis]

Glorious, I tell you, Glorious!!

[dance]

- TEN wonders in Athos
- An *amazing* stack of artillery that could punish such an immense cavalry stack (also showing the utility of denying rubber)
- Milady d'Winter coming in as city #4, with each M'eer city also hitting the top five
- A viciously fast end to it all, I had to re-read the final post twice to fully get it - game over
- 6311 - High score #3 for me, above rbd2 and behind rbd3 and LOTR

- Seeing Pepe fall in love with some one cut from the same mold, darling Fifi! :love2:

That one was well above expectations, both in terms of what I learned about artillery and in making something useful and fun out of the musketeers, but also learning about warmongering governments, paratroopers, helicopters, airlifting, and invading someone's homeland when they own the seas

Thanks to all who participated, well done!


Charis

PS/EDIT - I've changed my Avatar to be...
Pepe L'Meer!!

 

[Zed-F]

eep! 1000 units!?! I had enough to do in Infantry, thank you very much!

I SURE AM glad I bowed out some time ago! Not that I haven't been keeping track of our progress... good show folks!

 

[Cyrene]

Allons enfants de la Patrie
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!

Outstanding!

I downloaded the save file just to gawk at the Most Glorious Empire of France, as well as the most over-the-top Army I have ever seen. I think we have enough troops “lost” and forgotten in the global backwaters to take out a normal civ by themselves.

It certainly has been a long time since India was a serious threat and Rome decided we were weak enough to pull a surprise attack in Burma 8-0.

Thanks to Charis for the concept and running the game, to all the fine folks who took part, and to all the people who thought it worth their time just to follow along.

Vive Les Mousquetaires glorieuse!

Vive l’artillerie Francaise!

Vive Pepe!

Vive Fifi!

Fini!

--Cy