Wofle!
A short list of odds:
Cambodia: 1 in 367 (something like that)
Odds of being born in Cote d'Lvoires 1 in 189. I've never heard of that country.
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0 years old
I was born a boy in the city of Ferkessedougou in Cote d'Ivoire.
My parents have named me Mawulikplimi. My surname is Ouedraogo. My mother, Dipuonyane, is 17 and my father, Yawo, is 21. I have no brothers or sisters.
From my parents I have been gifted with the potential for extraordinary intelligence, extraordinary artistic ability, extraordinary musical ability, extraordinary athletic ability, extraordinary physical strength, extraordinary physical endurance and extraordinary good looks.
My mother has graduated from secondary school.
My mother has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My father has had malaria.
1 year old
Suffering from severe malnutrition.
I have had malaria.
I have schistosomiasis.
Peace.
2 years old
3 years old
Sister Marsika born.
4 years old
5 years old
Sister Zuwena born.
My sister Marsika has had measles.
6 years old
Began school.
7 years old
8 years old
My sister Marsika began school.
9 years old
My father has been assaulted but fortunately suffered no permanent injuries.
10 years old
My mother has become an alcoholic.
My sister Zuwena began school.
11 years old
My sister Zuwena has schistosomiasis.
12 years old
Decided to vandalize some property.
13 years old
My father has hookworm.
My father has been cured of schistosomiasis.
My sister Zuwena has been cured of schistosomiasis.
14 years old
I have been cured of schistosomiasis.
My mother has given up drinking.
My father has been cured of ancylostomiasis.
My father has schistosomiasis.
15 years old
Met a new girl I like very much, named Kehinde Loua.
We've begun seeing each other.
My parents don't approve of Kehinde Loua.
Kicked out of the house.
Moved away from home.
Began work as a soldier.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Sade Ngum.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Ended relationship with Sade Ngum.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Akosiwa Bawuah.
We've begun seeing each other.
My father has been cured of schistosomiasis.
16 years old
Skipped a year in school.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Olabisi Adumensa.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Abla Dadjo.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Akua Amponsah.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Sade Boateng.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Ayofemi Ankrah.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Mgboli Douhou.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Nsia Mamami.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Daughter Nkruma born.
17 years old
Graduated from secondary school.
Began college.
Nsia Mamami broke off our relationship.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Titilayo Nkrumah.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Jumoke Nsiah.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new girl I like very much, named Olabisi Barro-Diene.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
My parents don't approve of my proposed engagement to Olabisi Barro-Diene.
Written out of parents will.
Olabisi and I are now engaged!.
Invested 80000 CFA francs in a bank account.
My sister's boyfriend Omari has graduated from secondary school.
My sister's boyfriend Omari has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
Daughter Ngozi born.
18 years old
Told the truth at the risk of offending a friend..
Olabisi Barro-Diene and I got married this year.
Wife pregnant.
Daughter Mosemotsane born.
My daughter Mosemotsane has died of asphyxia in childbirth.
19 years old
Arrested by security forces for anti-government activities.
Released by security police.
Left my marriage.
Girlfriend pregnant.
My mother has been cured of pelvic inflammatory disease.
My sister's boyfriend Omari has tuberculosis.
My daughter Ngozi has schistosomiasis.
20 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
Avoided donating to a disaster relief charity.
Met a new woman I like very much, named Waseme Awere.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
Met a new woman I like very much, named Baduwa Hamidou.
We've begun seeing each other.
Girlfriend pregnant.
My mother has been cured of syphilis.
My sister Marsika has graduated from secondary school.
My sister Marsika has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My sister's boyfriend Kwesi has had malaria.
My girlfriend Baduwa has had malaria.
Son Okechukwu born.
21 years old
Brother Masilo born.
My mother has died giving birth to my brother Masilo.
Arrested by security forces for anti-government activities.
Released by security police.
Graduated from college with a degree in Government.
Began graduate school.
Baduwa and I are now engaged..
Girlfriend pregnant.
Son Akintunde born.
22 years old
Girlfriend pregnant.
Invested 500000 CFA francs in jewelry.
Invested 150000 CFA francs in a bank account.
My sister Zuwena has graduated from secondary school.
My sister Zuwena has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My daughter Nkruma began school.
My son Akintunde has died from dehydration.
Son Ntainyane born.
23 years old
Baduwa Hamidou and I got married this year.
Wife pregnant.
Daughter Nombeko born.
Began work as a soldier.
Invested 3000000 CFA francs in a bank account.
Invested 750000 CFA francs in jewelry.
My brother Masilo has schistosomiasis.
My daughter Ngozi began school.
My son Okechukwu has had malaria.
Son Mawuli born.
24 years old
Wife pregnant.
My daughter Nombeko began school.
Son Afi born.
25 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
Graduated from graduate school with an advanced degree in Government.
Received a 7% pay raise.
Left the military.
Began work as a community leader.
Invested 500000 CFA francs in a bank account.
Invested 230000 CFA francs in jewelry.
My son Mawuli has had measles.
26 years old
My brother Masilo has been cured of schistosomiasis.
My brother Masilo began school.
My daughter Ngozi has been cured of schistosomiasis.
My son Okechukwu began school.
My son Afi has had measles.
My wife Baduwa has been cured of schistosomiasis.
27 years old
I have been cured of schistosomiasis.
Arrested by security forces for anti-government activities.
Released by security police.
Wife pregnant.
My father has had another malaria flare-up.
My sister's boyfriend Kwesi has hookworm.
My sister's boyfriend Zuberi has been cured of onchocerciasis.
Daughter Sattar born.
28 years old
Received a 5% pay raise.
Invested 1000000 CFA francs in land.
Invested 55000 CFA francs in jewelry.
My sister's boyfriend Kwesi has been cured of ancylostomiasis.
Zuberi Moyoyo and my sister Zuwena have married.
Kwadwo born to Zuwena Moyoyo
My Kwadwo has ophthalmia caused by gonorrhea.
My Kwadwo has been cured of gonorrhea.
My son Ntainyane began school.
29 years old
Received a 9% pay raise.
My father has been cured of schistosomiasis.
Kwesi Salek and my sister Marsika have married.
Baduwa born to Marsika Salek
Jumoke born to Zuwena Moyoyo
My Jumoke has ophthalmia caused by gonorrhea.
My Jumoke has been cured of gonorrhea.
My son Ntainyane has been caught in a fire and suffered minor burns over 10% of the body. Luckily there was no permanent injury.
My son Mawuli has had malaria.
My son Mawuli began school.
30 years old
Received a 4% pay raise.
My sister Marsika has moved out on her own.
My sister Marsika's husband Kwesi has been injured in a mishap and suffered some nerve damage..
My sister Marsika's husband Kwesi has been hurt in an accident.
My son Afi began school.
31 years old
Lost my job due to my political activities.
Invested 1164000 CFA francs in land.
Shadan born to Marsika Salek
My sister Zuwena has been cured of schistosomiasis.
Yawo born to Zuwena Moyoyo
My Yawo has ophthalmia caused by gonorrhea.
My Yawo has been cured of gonorrhea.
My wife Baduwa has hepatitis.
32 years old
Began work as a senior government official.
Kesi born to Zuwena Moyoyo
My Kesi has ophthalmia caused by gonorrhea.
My Kesi has been cured of gonorrhea.
My wife Baduwa has Cured of hepatitis.
33 years old
Received a 5% pay raise.
Invested 4465866 CFA francs in a bank account.
My father has had another malaria flare-up.
My sister Marsika's husband Kwesi has had another malaria flare-up.
My sister Zuwena has moved out on her own.
Mgboli born to Zuwena Moyoyo
My Mgboli has ophthalmia caused by gonorrhea.
My Mgboli has been cured of gonorrhea.
My daughter Nkruma has hookworm.
My daughter's boyfriend Ambe has graduated from secondary school.
My daughter's boyfriend Ambe has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My daughter Sattar began school.
34 years old
Lost my job due to my political activities.
Not accepted in vocational school.
Not accepted in vocational school.
Began work as a senior government official.
Invested 2000000 CFA francs in a bank account.
Akosiwa born to Marsika Salek
My daughter Nkruma has been cured of ancylostomiasis.
My daughter Nkruma has graduated from secondary school.
My daughter Nkruma has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My daughter's boyfriend Chioke has graduated from secondary school.
My daughter's boyfriend Chioke has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
35 years old
Decided not to give money to charity.
My father has been cured of schistosomiasis.
Kanika born to Zuwena Moyoyo
My Kanika has ophthalmia caused by gonorrhea.
My Kanika has been cured of gonorrhea.
My daughter Ngozi has graduated from secondary school.
My daughter Ngozi has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My daughter's boyfriend Baako has had malaria.
36 years old
Received a 9% pay raise.
My daughter Nombeko has had malaria.
My daughter Nombeko has graduated from secondary school.
My daughter Nombeko has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My daughter's boyfriend Chioke has asthma.
37 years old
Invested 7276952 CFA francs in jewelry.
My brother's girlfriend Subira has graduated from secondary school.
My brother's girlfriend Subira has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
My daughter Ngozi has hookworm.
My daughter's boyfriend Baako has had another malaria flare-up.
My son's girlfriend Ayofemi has graduated from secondary school.
My son's girlfriend Ayofemi has failed the tests for entrance into vocational school.
38 years old
Been murdered at age 38.
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Dang murderors.