Relationships and more

[TheMeInTeam]

probably best not to get too emotionally invested in someone unless/until you already are in the relationship. all the more reason to ask someone out early if you feel strong attraction, get a sense of whether there's interest in return. should get easier to gauge interest with experience too.

it's always going to suck when there isn't mutual interest (declining someone else's interest when you don't feel anything doesn't feel great either), but at least you're not running some kind of plot for months that has no payoff/chance of payoff.

 

[Farm Boy]

Young Sir, have you ever considered: not caring?

I missed the curse at God the first time around. I guess I understand the impulse. If pain and waste are a problem, consider what he might have done to you: He could have made you love each other deeply! He's set out the example of the best love already. Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?

Eh? Still haven't managed to come up with anything that's a more worthy goal or wish for you all, though.

 

[Plains-Cow]

I missed the curse at God the first time around. I guess I understand the impulse. If pain and waste are a problem, consider what he might have done to you: He could have made you love each other deeply! He's set out the example of the best love already. Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?

Eh? Still haven't managed to come up with anything that's a more worthy goal or wish for you all, though.

Lmao, what

 

[Gori the Grey]

Farm Boy's a theologian of no small stature.

 

[Farm Boy]

I don't know how to say it better, Ms. Cow. Apologies.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

the alternative is to not to believe in god, which is what i settled on. but then it doesn't work to blame god or ask god why things didn't work out the way you want.

if you do believe, it should be self-evident that whatever you believe isn't going to guarantee immediate/near-future dating success or getting other things one wants with any consistency...not for you and not for people generally! whatever god is or isn't, there's not much evidence of meddling in these kinds of things, haha.

 

[Farm Boy]

If you think any of that hinges on sharing my faith rather than being couched in the language of it, you're still not on the mark.

There is no alternative here! You can care, or you can not care.

 

[Gori the Grey]

there's not much evidence of meddling in these kinds of things

For people who are who are willing to take as evidence one scriptural tradition about God (as I am sure you are not; you needn't protest), there in fact is considerable such evidence:

He intervenes to make sure Jacob and Rachel get off to a good financial start in their life together as a married couple.
He arranges for Solomon's mother to catch the eye of his father at a time opportune for attracting his attentions.
He sends an angel to encourage Mary's betrothed to stick with her despite the scandal that might bring him.

Probably one could think of others, but I don't need to because, trumping all . . .

One time he made a woman* just because he thought it wasn't good for some dude to be alone.

*reprehensible to certain modern sensibilities, perhaps, but still counting as evidence that if your purposes are otherwise in accord with God's plans, he might well in fact "meddle in these things."

 

[TheMeInTeam]

sure, but even if you're willing to accept that as evidence, it's still not "much" compared to the number of relationships which don't have any apparent external influence that's positive. tons have apparent negative things happen that aren't due to their own choices too. as you say, i don't accept the premise, but even if one does it's not something to count on...a lesson the bible itself teaches elsewhere iirc.

 

[Gori the Grey]

it's not something to count on...a lesson the bible itself teaches elsewhere iirc

Oh, no. The Bible everywhere teaches that you should count on God.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

Oh, no. The Bible everywhere teaches that you should count on God.

i recall a phrase along lines of "god helps those who help themselves"...basically that you should not expect help at minutiae levels of daily life.

 

[Gori the Grey]

That's not in the Bible.

But that's the last I'll say on this line, since this thread isn't "Dating Advice: Christian Mingle."

 

[EvaDK]

Oh, no. The Bible everywhere teaches that you should count on God.

In the Old Testament, you can count on God being cruel, violent and judgmental towards humankind. That is, if one believes that ones actions, are a testament to ones character.

 

[Farm Boy]

It asks much more of you in the New than the Old.

If you really want to hurt somebody bad, you don't make them hate you, you make them love you.

Love anyways.

 

[Narz]

Relationships are hard. I can see why many people choose to go meditate in a cave instead

 

[Hygro]

But like, not that many.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Most folks who have been in one, keep trying even if it means starting a new one when the current one fails.

 

[EvaDK]

Most folks who have been in one, keep trying even if it means starting a new one when the current one fails.

The 'new opportunity' has a habit of suddenly appearing right in front of you, whilst you least expected - and sometimes, least wanted it to.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Yes, love takes unexpected turns and sets us on paths we might not have traveled on, all designed to make us crazy.

"Live wisely, love ferociously!"

 

[Hygro]

The 'new opportunity' has a habit of suddenly appearing right in front of you, whilst you least expected - and sometimes, least wanted it to.

Dating Advice (from Random Rants 93)

As I said above, the relationship's on the verge of collapse. This could be my chance! In that case I would revert to point 1: if you like someone then you should ask them out. And you do you, but I would probably leave the sonnet until you’ve had a couple of dates and decided you, y’know...

forums.civfanatics.com

(Sadly the preview is not the linked post)