Salesmen/missionaries that knock on your door: Is this offensive?

[Silent Spectre]

I find it very annoying, especially when they drop in around supper time.

 

[EdwardTking]

My life has become much less troubled after I disconnected the doorbell and began refusing to answer when people knock.

I spend 40 hours at work getting interrupted by people
who think that what they want is all that is important.

So when I am at home, I want to unwind.

When they deregulated and privatised electricity and gas
here in the UK it resulted in a plethora of bottom end sales
men coming round and telling me they can save me money.

So I let the battery stay flat in my doorbell, and don't answer.
If they keep banging, I may look see out of an upstairs window.

 

[Taliesin]

Sometimes I get calls inviting me to take part in a consumer survey for some company or political party. How kind of them, I think to myself. But wait, they want me to do it... suddenly it's a sellers' market! So, I ask them, okay, what's my cut? They usually splutter for a stunned moment or two, and then recover. The good ones get the hint and stop. The foolish ones take the bait, and either offer me "the benefits of having improved the company's consumer-targeting of its products", or ask me what I mean. Well, says I, you're getting paid, are you not? And they say yes, and I say, well, we're spending the same amount of time here, doing the same thing, and we're both essential in the production of this good which is of value to your employer, yes? I... guess so... Well then, say I, we surely deserve equal payment for this, don't we? If they make it this far, I proceed to laugh at them and hang up.

I also enjoy stringing people selling anything involving print media along with questions, indicating interest in purchasing, and then as a final afterthought ask offhandedly if they offer their product in Braille.

Other kinds of calls I treat as the situation demands. The amusement I derive from these things improved greatly when I realised that the telemarketers 1) do not desert their script, and so have to take everything you say as a serious response, and 2) are often human and laugh along with the joke. Thus I cheerfully tell people that I'm afraid I don't have any windows or doors in the house, thank you, nor walls, neither.

If nothing obvious presents itself, I tell them to hold while I transfer to the head of household, and then come back on affecting the hilarious verbal peculiarity that my whim dictates.

Witnesses I just leave facing a closed front door.

 

[punkbass2000]

King among men, T. King among men.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Incidentally, I got all kinds of responses in my days as a door-to-door missionary. I don't think that saying that you are a Satanist will get rid of Mormons. First of all, they have knocked hundreds or thousands of doors in their mission, so they know what to expect - and they will figure that you are lying. Second of all, if you really do worship Satan, well I found that fascinating and I would have wanted to talk more to the person, not less. In fact, if I knocked on the door of a person who belonged to a religion with which I wasn't familiar, and they were willing to talk (they often were), I would ask them about their religion - not to find a way to attack it, but to learn more about it. Most of what I know about Buddhism, and a lot of what I know about Islam, I learned from people willing to discuss it. But if they didn't, I would move on.

 

[kingjoshi]

I wonder if anyone has gone door-to-door to do a survey to see what people think about people that go door-to-door. Even though I think it's wrong, a part of me would like to see the response...

EDIT: if people responded to the survey said they didn't like it, obviously you would follow with the question of why they decided to participate in the survey. If they didn't mind, maybe you could meet some interesting people (girls ).

 

[Sahkuhnder]

@ Eran -

All I hope is that you can learn from this and rethink your statement from the OP link "We are not offending people at all."

Once you realize you are offending people the next step would be to either cease doing so or to accept responsibility for your actions and stop blaming the people you offend for being offended.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

@ Eran -

All I hope is that you can learn from this and rethink your statement from the OP link "We are not offending people at all."

Once you realize you are offending people the next step would be to either cease doing so or to accept responsibility for your actions and stop blaming the people you offend for being offended.

As it happens, I am not a missionary at the moment. I served 2 years, from 2002 to 2004, as is the practice. The church as a whole is not likely to give up the practice either, as it produces results. And I still say that if anyone is offended, then they overreacted. If they are annoyed, that is fine, and it's not like missionaries are going to blame them to their faces or anything. I would also note that this doesn't seem to be an accurate sampling of how most people react on the whole, but whatever.

 

[punkbass2000]

I wonder if anyone has gone door-to-door to do a survey to see what people think about people that go door-to-door. Even though I think it's wrong, a part of me would like to see the response...

EDIT: if people responded to the survey said they didn't like it, obviously you would follow with the question of why they decided to participate in the survey. If they didn't mind, maybe you could meet some interesting people (girls ).

I may have to do this

 

[punkbass2000]

@ Eran -

All I hope is that you can learn from this and rethink your statement from the OP link "We are not offending people at all."

Once you realize you are offending people the next step would be to either cease doing so or to accept responsibility for your actions and stop blaming the people you offend for being offended.

Good try, sahk, but I think the "blame-the-victim" mentality is clearly established. As long as the problem remains with "them" it not solvable.

 

[Sahkuhnder]

As it happens, I am not a missionary at the moment. I served 2 years, from 2002 to 2004, as is the practice. The church as a whole is not likely to give up the practice either, as it produces results. And I still say that if anyone is offended, then they overreacted. If they are annoyed, that is fine, and it's not like missionaries are going to blame them to their faces or anything. I would also note that this doesn't seem to be an accurate sampling of how most people react on the whole, but whatever.

Bold by me.


Yes, and those results are both new members and some ill feelings toward your organization due solely to the offensive methods you choose to use.

Are you still in denial that your methods are offensive? You seem to be a reasonable sort of guy and this is so obvious it doesn't do you justice to pretend you don't offend people. It is then up to them to decide the appropriate level of reaction to the offense you have caused.

What exactly would you accept as evidence? How is this poll "inaccurate" as you claim? Should you or I start another one with different terms? The people here are a random enough sample for this general topic. The numbers are overwhelming, not within a statistical margin of error.

Many of the people you offend the most won't even open the door, and so you would never even know. Your personal sample of how offended people are should be adjusted to reflect this as well.

I really don't mean to bash on you, and I must admit you've been a good sport throughout this discussion. Someday perhaps you will be a church elder yourself, and the decision to weight the cost/benefit of this type of activity may be yours to make.


EDIT - corrected typo.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I think I have been misunderstood. I don't mean to say that I blamed anyone for being annoyed at our presence. I felt that they could have got rid of us a little easier if, instead of venting their anger at us, they just asked us politely to leave. But whatever, I knew that many people would react with annoyance (which I could understand) or outright hostility (which I thought was a bad idea on their part - not because I was bothered by it, but because I think it is a bad idea to lose one's temper, even to strangers.) I knew that it was just part of the deal. I always acted with as much politeness as possible - I knew that knocking on someone's door was an intrusion on their life, however minor I though it may be, and I tried to make the process as painless as possible. Probably 99% of Mormon missionaries will act this way, and if they don't, then tell them that they are being 'less effective'.

I also think that almost all of the people who are really annoyed by our presence would not be likely to listen to us in most forms, so from a 'cost-benefit' ratio it is not a problem for the church. In fact, there are many people who won't listen to the missionaries when they come to the door but who will listen to our message in other forms, which is why knocking on doors is so low-yield. And I can honestly say that a surprising number of those who answered their doors (though still a minority) were willing to talk to us, if not hear our message. I would like to know (and this is a serious question, by the way, I am not trying to troll or anything) - how annoyed is one justified in being if someone they don't want to talk to rings their doorbell, and they don't answer?

 

[Masquerouge]

Knocking on my door or calling me on the phone when I have not invited you, and for monetary purposes, will always get me angry and thus not in the best of disposition to buy the crap you're selling.

 

[Bluemofia]

If they came at my door, I would first ask them why they are selling this. Yes, even to a missionary.

If I don't like the answer, I shut the door on their face. If I do, I would listen for 5-10 more seconds, then shut the door.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

And can I just make a comment? No matter how rude you think the person at your door is, it is not worth it to try to out-rude them. It will just end up making you angry. If you approach the situation with the though that you will politely dismiss them, you will be much better off. I don't say this for the sake of the people at your door - if they can't handle it, they are in the wrong business - but for the sake of the person answering.

 

[Sahkuhnder]

...I also think that almost all of the people who are really annoyed by our presence would not be likely to listen to us in most forms, so from a 'cost-benefit' ratio it is not a problem for the church...

I would like to point out that the only factor in a cost-benefit analysis is not just if you gain a new convert. I agree that the people who respond by acting offended are least likely to join (benefit), but those are also the very people who see your actions as most offensive and may now rightfully harbor you ill-feelings (cost). Cost is not just cost to you in the form of your efforts, it is the cost to the community in tensions you cause and to your organization in bad feeling you generate toward it.

You may just disregard these people, but you may have also just created a life-long atheist by annoying and offending someone. "I would never believe in god! Did you know how annoying those people are?" Is your real goal to just gain members, or to spread a message to everyone, potential convert or not, of peace, love, tolerance and understanding of others?

You shouldn't be the cause of the beginning of a rudeness contest. Treat everyone with respect, especially those least likely to join your church. The test of character is not how you treat people you like, but if you have no respect for and disregard those you don't. God loves us all equally right?

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

If soemone claims to stop believing in God just because of missionaries who came to their door, that is not their real concern. They are just using it as an excuse. And I have found that this poll notwithstanding, there is not a lot of bad feeling toward us as a result. I have heard a lot of people say, "I won't listen to you, but I don't mind that you knocked my door - at least you are polite and go away when asked, not like some." Also, sometimes (I have seen this happen) they don't listen to us then, but it raises their interest and they listen to us later.

And also, I always treated everyone with respect, whether they listened to us, politely dismissed us, or got angry. I was always as polite and friendly as possible - not only because being in a good mood is more pleasant than being in a bad mood, but because it generally will help them to be in a slightly better mood.

 

[The 777 Hoax]

I find it very annoying, especially when they drop in around supper time.

I hate that! Don't bug me when I'm eating...

 

[bhsup]

Are you still in denial that your methods are offensive?

They're not offensive to me, and to a lot of people I know. Maybe they are to you, but that doesn't mean you should use a broad, blanket statement like "your methods are offensive", implying that they are offensive to all people.

 

[Sahkuhnder]

They're not offensive to me, and to a lot of people I know. Maybe they are to you, but that doesn't mean you should use a broad, blanket statement like "your methods are offensive", implying that they are offensive to all people.

Eran's statement (link on the OP post):

"We are not offending people at all."


Look at the poll numbers.


I stand by my statement that "your methods are offensive". If the vast majority of people are offended by an action, it is fair to consider that method as being offensive.

You of course have a right to your own minority opinion.