Secret to long life!!!

[CornMaster]

This just in.......

We have discovered the secret to long life!!! And it was under our noses the whole time!! But before we get to the secret...let me add some background info.

As we all know...as the body ages, it becomes more fragile and less tolerant of disease, and injury. Some diseases are airborne in nature and therefore inhaled. The little hairs in your nose acts as a type of "filter" to filter out larger particles, of dust and germs, therefore keeping our lungs cleaner.

Now as the body ages...our nose hair grows as well. Coincidence?? I think not. Since the body is more vulnerable to disease, it grows our best defense mechanism at the same rate to protect us. We (not knowing better) are cutting away this layer of defense...thus shorting our life span by many years. If we were not to cut our nose hair then we would live much longer lives!!!

Conclusion???

Don't cut your nose hair!! It's virtually suicide if you do!!! <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/eek.gif" border=0>

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CivFanatics Moderator and Tech Support
CornEmpire Owner/Operator

[This message has been edited by CornMaster (edited August 11, 2001).]

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

The basic principle to long life is not dying. There a many sub-variants to this, such as do not stand in front of large moving objects.

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Gee, that's a new one. How about scrubbing away toe-jam? Is that too a life saver

 

[TrailblazingScot]

Don´t join Hamas...suicide bombing shortens your life IMHO.

 

[thedirk]

Corn's right. My uncle trimmed his nose hair, and within a week he was dead.

Another way to prevent death is to travel at the speed of light. That way "time" stand still and you will not age. This leads to things like immortality.

 

[MrSparkle]

Sleeping upside down, like a bat, will add ten years to your life. I learnt it from Keith Richards when i toured with the Stones. Thats probably why Keith can not be killed by conveintinal weapons.

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I am disrespectful to Dirt! Can you not see that I am serious?

[This message has been edited by MrSparkle (edited August 11, 2001).]

 

[BlueMonday]

Perhaps we should learn to live better lives instead of longer ones.

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<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/image_uploads/goodbye3.jpg" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">I take every day one beer at a time; every beer one sip at a time.</FONT c>

 

[WarandPeace]

LOL! nice post corn

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[SunTzu]

I find that drinking 12 bud lights and at least 6 smirnoff ice a day will let you live long long time.

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[Simon Darkshade]

Well, where does one start.
Sun, you are sadly mistaken. Light beer is the work of Satan, and vodka mixers will just lead to your horrible death at the hands of an outraged Russian who disapproves of mixing vodka.

Don't eat ice cream. All those guys on death row eat ice cream and are dead within 24 hours!!!! FREAKY!!!!!

On the issue of Keith Richards, don't stand near his cremtion pyre, or you will surely die of the fumes. Keith says kids don't do drugs. They can't, as he has already taken them all. We will have to wait until his demise, and then freebase his remains with Richard Prior.

My suggestion is simple. Use dog years. So if you live to 30, you're really doin' well.



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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Archbob]

Originally posted by Lefty Scaevola:
The basic principle to long life is not dying. There a many sub-variants to this, such as do not stand in front of large moving objects.

It seems that least one of you has got the secret right. The secret of long life is indeed not die. Really is it that hard to figure out?

And there is a second part of long live and it is "stay alive". There is no how to do this, you just must do it if you want long life.


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Join me in World Conquest

<FONT COLOR="blue"><FONT face="lucida handwriting">
Would ya shoot someone? What if he also had a gun pointing at you?

</FONT c></FONT f>
Check out Arcade Portal and

[This message has been edited by Fallen Angel Lord (edited August 12, 2001).]

 

[MrSparkle]

I dont beleive in death so therefore i will live for ever

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I am disrespectful to Dirt! Can you not see that I am serious?

 

[duke o' york]

SunTzu, your recipe for a long life may well work, but it's only to be considered if you happen to want a life whereby you are puking up disgusting teenage drinks for most of your waking hours. Drinking proper booze will not in fact lengthen your life, but you will notice it passing by much less so I suppose this could qualify.

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in vino veritas

 

[Vrylakas]

Actually, if I were suicidal and wanted to jump in front of a train, I am fairly certain that at the moment before impact someone from my student loan agency would jump out of the bushes and push me out of harm's way. Moral: Debt is the secret to long life.

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"...über den Bergen sind auch Leute..."

[This message has been edited by Vrylakas (edited August 14, 2001).]

 

[Alcibiaties of Athenae]

Corn, you have it wrong, that's the secret to NEVER getting a woman!

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<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/blast.gif" border=0><FONT size="4"><FONT COLOR="blue">All knowledge begins with the Phrase:</FONT c><FONT COLOR="red"> I don't know</FONT c></FONT s><IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/ninja1.gif" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">Tuatha De Danann Tribe</FONT c>

 

[Flatlander Fox]

Actually the secret to long life is never keeping the same woman for too long!!!

And not smoking <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/smokin.gif" border=0>

*Cringes as Mrs. Fox reads this*

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I'm so tired of being tired... Sure as night will follow day... Most things I worry about, never happen anyway...

[This message has been edited by Flatlander Fox (edited August 14, 2001).]

 

[Juize]

Really funny stuff CM! Keep it up! And SunTzu... don't make jokes things like that,
some kids may take you seriosly!

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-I'm a communist pig and proud of it.
-Sweden - the number #1 country in the world!
-97% of finns don't trust politics; 38%
of 'em don't vote 'cause of this.

 

[Az]

Corn!

SunTzu you naughty boy...

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[goodbye_mr_bond]

Originally posted by Vrylakas:
Moral: Debt is the secret to long life.

If you're right, Vrylakas, then I'm an immortal!

...

oh,

 

[kundor]

No, the secret to long life is boredom...As seen in Catch-22! By doing the most boring possible thing, constantly, you may not live longer, but it will sure seem like it!
So no more playing Civ2! (Or maybe only SS endgame...the same one...over and over.)

Ah, the wisdom of Heller.

[This message has been edited by kundor (edited August 16, 2001).]