Siddhartha of India: The Civ 4 Buddhist challenge

[Moai_Spammer]

that was teh goal

 

[mrrandomplayer]

No, I didn't see her until now, when I checked again.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

MWHAHAHA!!! I shall traumatize you all with poneh pics!

 

[Moai_Spammer]

hey everyone, if you all are wondering when an updates happening... it's happening tomorrow
if your wondering why i have been updating, i've been at my grandma's house for like 3 days and just got back (it's a shame really, i missed out on brony-con but anyhoo...) so yeah, expact an update tomorrow

yours truly- Moai_Spammer


ps:

 

[Moai_Spammer]

welcome back all! as a promised, updates all around! and i promise i won't put in traumatizing pony pics in(ok may be just one, but it will be spoilered!) without further ado i present you... this story!

It was 1440 a.d., the army had finally finished marching and was beginning an attack, while siddhartha's scientist worked hard to develop gunpowder, siddhartha tried hard sit on his lazy assflankbonbonstusheeglutiusmaximusanuscrappercheeksbutt eating fried chicken, becuase cows were to holy to eat!
to sum it all up when his military advisor asked to attack some pikemen with elephants siddhartha said "yeah whatevs, now go away! Rainbow fat just saved obesity while buttershy was too busy crying like a baby, and raspberry pie had finished throwing her party!"(my little war elephant:weight is magic,was a very popular... clay tablet(?) back then)

siddhartha did eventually do something constructive that year however (well, as constructive as pillaging and raping goes):

siddhartha was shocked.
His little ponies had just defeated their little knights.
"WOOHOO" siddhartha said
"they would lose against my cataphracts" said a mysterious voice
"who are you"
"ITSA ME! JUSTINIAN!"
*whisper* dude, wrong story *whisper*
"Oops, sorry siddhartha"

Oh, and one of our first warriors is still kicking butt(the starting warrior is still in our capital, infact he lives their the rest of the game ^_^)

This my friends, will be a stalliongrad(god i have to stop reading fanfics)stalingrad, but will we win our lose, well, let me show you

Here's some pony vs. super-pony action(i still don't know how that horse archer is still alive after that...):

This is a different horse archer btw

again, different horse archer(oh and i drafted some musket men up in persepolis):

Here's are special pony, pillaging their gold resource

3...2...1:FIGHT!

ha! you thought i was gonna show you the whole battle of stalliongrad stalingradSusa! well, to satisfy your curiosity:

Spoiler :

Read the story

i said i would spoiler the pony picture wouldn't i ?
i have a feeling you guys are like this right now:

 

[Moai_Spammer]

update coming some time today, it'll be called "chapter 12: My Little Cuirassier: Conquest is Magic"

i'll start working on it as soon as *gets internet tomato shield*civ5 gets less laggy so that i can exit to desktop

 

[Moai_Spammer]

Chapter 12:My Little Cuirassier(part 1)
hello all! before we begin, i would like to state that the time frame we have cuirs is EPIC!
so here are some songs to listen to while you read the update

Songs for non-bronies to make the update more epic (aka epic video game music)

Spoiler :

Link to video.


Link to video.

Link to video.

Songs for bronies to make the update more epic (aka what i listened to while WRITING the update)

Spoiler :

Link to video.


Link to video.

Link to video.

let's get started!
basically i escaped with a stack of 2 ats and about 17 elephants, and made a short peace, i skipped that boring time for you, and skipped to the rise of the buddhist equestrian corps(upgraded units, oh and ones that lucky horse archer, i'll name her pinkie pie later on in the game, i know because i gave that unit a unique set of promotions). let's get started NOW!

"for some reason king siddhartha seemed obsessed with putting us on horse, he even tried to paint one PINK for crying out loud! i'm only here for the pay"
-Random troop at the 2nd battle of susa
What siddhartha wanted to make one of his cuirassier's horses look like

Spoiler :

"The cuirassier was a major military innovation, king siddhartha even made COMICS on clay tablets about them, it appeared the 'pony' cult of lumbini also wrote lots of 'fanfics' that he liked reading. The cult basically liked colorful ponies and pegasi and unicorns. Why just the other day i heard siddhartha say 'luna for best princess' whatever that means..."
Abhay the Anuj in his book The cuirassier and it's pony cult
The below image is a work of art from Siddhartha's library

Spoiler :

(last pony referencepicture, i pinkie promise!)

Here's some more epic pony action:

Spoiler :

I said no more pics ONLY didn't i
Link to video.

Here you go Mr.Mother Fing Zedong

Now time to take MOAR of persia because siddhartha is QUITE the BLOOD THIRSTY bronyTYRANT

see, i still has elephants

back to teh ponehs!

"The battle was quite easy, i felt like celestia CRUSHING those PUNY swordsmen!"
-random troop who happened to also be in the equestrian cult of lumbini

Fluttershy WINS! FATALITY (i'm sorry i but i couldn't resist the oprotunity)

insert pony related joke here!

LOL!

This time it's my elephant versus THEIR ponies. Maybe they need some*drumroll* friendship *BA DUM SCH*

so this is how the spaniards felt... i realize why cortez was so evil now

So i made peace after taking a bunch of land and got a vassal, but i'm still a VERY bloodthirsty brony, so it's time to make some *puts on shades* Mao Mother Fing Zedong cupcakes!

well, that's it, you can leave now, I SAID GET OUTTA MAH HOUSE

 

[Moai_Spammer]

how come people only comment on my OTHER story

i'm not that mad... just a bit bucked off

 

[mrrandomplayer]

how come people only comment on my OTHER story

i'm not that mad... just a bit bucked off

Maybe all of the brony spam memes have scared everyone away to your other story.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

Maybe all of the brony spam memes have scared everyone away to your other story.

fixed your sentence there , reading back on the last few updates i realize it has more pony spam than any sandwich in a school lunchroom cafeteria on mystery meat day

well, seems justinian will get his update sooner that siddhartha, mainly because imageshack got this stories pics out of order (i swear they intentionally programmed it like that) so anyhoo...

when the next update is ready, it'll be about how siddhartha trips on a snail and blames mao, because why not, and dows him. and kicks butt with pocatello and justinian who are fighting off robot hordes in a brave new worldmischief... or something like that

that seems like a good way to get some viewers back...

p.s. the wonders M.S. paint can make

 

[constantinople]

Subbed.

Edit: Wow, I had no idea you did the back in black joke too.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

Huzzah! Constantinople has returned!

 

[Moai_Spammer]

you know, you guys are pretty epic, here's an update!

I now give you
Chapter 13:Siddhartha of India:Back in Black

siddhartha slipped on a snail, he was sad cause he killed it.
do to the fact that siddhartha had recently stayed up all night drawing ponies battle plans, siddhartha decided to declare war.

Siddhartha's Mom: I may have not been mentioned or seen for multiple millenia my little siddy, but don't Dow mr. Mao(RHYME!)
Siddhartha: Mawm, don't call me that! I'm like over 4000 years old! why are still treating me like i'm a twelve year old
Siddhartha's Mom: 'cause you always act like one sweetie
Siddhartha: oh yeah...

later at mao's place...
Siddhartha:I Hereby DoW you!
Mao:INCONCIEVABLE
Siddhartha: I do not think you know what that word means

workersEpic people of the world, UNITE!
Pocatello: It's me pocatello! i have epic diplomacy screen music and am overpowered
Justinian: It's me, Justinian! i have um... cataphracts?
Siddhartha:Itsa meh, SIDDHARTHAAA! and I'm BUDDHIST!
and together we make...
some pretty pimpin tacos!

so 3 swordsmen and 3 cuirs walk into a desert tile, the cuirs had some mighty tasty dessert, the swordsmen, not so much
*badum tsh*

believe it or not that longbow was pretty OP

pfft, you attack and flank with ponies china, not hug and cuddle them inside of a city

89.9% odds, I swear to god/allah/jehovah/zarathustra that that better not happen again

Lets' put a SMILE on that face of yours swordsmen!(cue smile song literal version)

i forgot what i was gonna say...

FINALLY this loser is dead... MINIONS prepare a feast!

ELEPHANTS!!!

some cliffhanger right?

that's all for now, and remember kids siddhartha says:
"WAR MONG GER MONG WAR GER WAR MONG MONG WAR GER"

oh so wise if i must say

 

[mrrandomplayer]

I LOL'ed at the Mao Princess Bride reference.

Though he does look more like a zombie than the dude from Princess Bride...

 

[Moai_Spammer]

well, mao was a jerk the whole game, a horrible vassal, and frankly a very idiotic AI

i think he would be more a rodent of unusual size

Spoiler :

SPOILER ALERT
i demand something from industrial age mao in the very late game, and he dows me, so i get a crapload of freeland (gotta love gunships and modern armor vs. rifles and calvary)

 

[constantinople]

Hellephants! (RandomLand joke)

 

[Moai_Spammer]

the ironic thing is i'm also india

 

[Moai_Spammer]

everybody! this is my... 405th post! yay!

 

[constantinople]

 

[Moai_Spammer]

hello everone, this isn't an update but something really cool

so i started up a game of civ 4 as the incans last night, and today i was finishing it up, and when i was 2 turns away from my spaceship reaching alpha centari, i got this epic random event

i had no idea this awesome random event was in the game