Power corrupts; Absolute power corrupts absolutely; God is all-powerful. Draw your own conclusions.
Never go around with a mans wife, unless you can go a round with her husband.
Silence is not always golden, sometimes its guilt
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip
Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
If you lend someone £10 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Heaven for climate, Hell for society.
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
The nice thing about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being proven right or pleasantly surprised
Tell them i've been too . .. .. .. .ing busy — or vice versa.
The rose may kiss the butterfly
a man may kiss his girl goodbye
the wine may kiss the crystal glass,
but you my friend, may kiss my ass!
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
I first realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat
The only time i don't want head is when i'm pouring a beer.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left