Stupid proverbs

[Sharwood]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a duck from it.

Woman who sits on judge's lap receives honourable discharge.

I've got more, but the mod's won't like them.

 

[eastsidebagel]

@Bigfoot: Thanks for the vid, man!
Another stupid proverb: Money is not everything in the world. But without money, everything sucks.

 

[Rusted Armor]

Do not jump at every oppurtunity for a better life. Hitler had an oppurtunity to take all of Europe... then . .. .. .. . happened.

 

[Shrek3]

If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep!

When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

 

[Sharwood]

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the previous administration.

 

[eastsidebagel]

A mind is a terrible thing to lose. Dan Quayle

 

[Abaddon]

Divide by zero

 

[eastsidebagel]

Money can't buy you everything. Well, actually, it can.

 

[Sharwood]

Who said money can't buy you love? Oh yeah, Lennon and McCartney. Like they'd know.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day; Teach a man to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Wife who puts husband in doghouse soon will find him in cathouse.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

 

[eastsidebagel]

Don't hate people, just because they're different from you. Just hate them if they're becoming too similiar to you.

Hell? Yeah, like there's any alternative to it!

All your need is your very own fantasy to lead an exciting and rich life. Oh, and yeah, you're gonna need a brain too.

 

[carmen510]

"When God gives you lemons, then YOU FIND A NEW GOD"

 

[eastsidebagel]

"When God gives you lemons, then YOU FIND A NEW GOD"
from the Powerthirst commercial, right?

Scratch your ass and call it a day.

I'm neither pro-life nor pro-choice, I'm pro-shut-the-hell-up!

Having homosexual incest in church is a constitutional right? I don't think so, m'am.

 

[mechaerik]

I saw this in someone's signature:
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for a lifetime.

First time i read that i laughed so hard the teacher came over. Control-H!!

 

[dwaxe]

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If aimed right.

 

[eastsidebagel]

You are going to lick my shiny, salty nuts. Wanna raisins with them?

When life gives you lemons, trade them for crack.

Every man is equal. Except Puerto Ricians of course.

 

[carmen510]

The pen is mightier than the sword, except in nearly any normal circumstance.

 

[eastsidebagel]

Besides your ugliness and your retardedness, you seem like a nice woman.

Not all what glitters is THC crystals.

The police is your servant and your protector...if they like you.

When life gives you lemons, DON'T SCREW IT UP!

 

[KaiserElectric]

The pen is mightier than the sword, except in nearly any normal circumstance.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

(I have that one on my Steam profile )

 

[eastsidebagel]

Don't ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do to stop asking inconvenient questions.