Dateline AD 215, Boaring Wallow
Incoming President declares State of Emergency!
Today, President DaveShack addressed the nation, or at least those within earshot of the Presidential Stump, saying that a state of emergency has been declared due to general apathy and depression among the citizens at large. This statement was no surprise to many citizens, who could not help noticing the dearth of candidates for the recent election, poor participation at town hall meetings to direct our national policy on public works and science, and even a general lack of interest in the ongoing war with Mongolia despite very good reports from the front lines. It was unclear what exactly, if anything, would result from this state of emergency, but the President promised to use executive powers to their fullest in an attempt to recover our sense of national pride, starting with the ordinary citizens. He also vowed to work tirelessly to improve "the system" to ensure the efforts of the many people who would fight apathy by making life fun again are not neutralized by a small but very powerful group of political insiders obsessed with processes, dotted i's and crossed t's, and those who worship the dictionary and thesaurus.
When asked how he would know what the citizens needed to heal their civic attachment disorder, he replied in typical political fashion "of course we'll have a poll for that." He then smiled, waved to the crowd, and exclaimed "The office door is open (after you check your weapons with the guards) and any idea is welcome!"
Incoming President declares State of Emergency!
Today, President DaveShack addressed the nation, or at least those within earshot of the Presidential Stump, saying that a state of emergency has been declared due to general apathy and depression among the citizens at large. This statement was no surprise to many citizens, who could not help noticing the dearth of candidates for the recent election, poor participation at town hall meetings to direct our national policy on public works and science, and even a general lack of interest in the ongoing war with Mongolia despite very good reports from the front lines. It was unclear what exactly, if anything, would result from this state of emergency, but the President promised to use executive powers to their fullest in an attempt to recover our sense of national pride, starting with the ordinary citizens. He also vowed to work tirelessly to improve "the system" to ensure the efforts of the many people who would fight apathy by making life fun again are not neutralized by a small but very powerful group of political insiders obsessed with processes, dotted i's and crossed t's, and those who worship the dictionary and thesaurus.
When asked how he would know what the citizens needed to heal their civic attachment disorder, he replied in typical political fashion "of course we'll have a poll for that." He then smiled, waved to the crowd, and exclaimed "The office door is open (after you check your weapons with the guards) and any idea is welcome!"


