the ant and the grasshoper

[ybbor]

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is
warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the
shivering
grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant
should
be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS,
NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next
to a video of the ant in
his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned
by
the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this
poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on
Oprah
with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not
Easy
Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's
house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall
overcome."
Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's
sake. Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter
Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call
for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share." Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The
ant
is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by
the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper
in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a
panel
of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare
recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the
grasshopper
finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house
he
is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around
him
because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of
spiders
who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican.

 

[Fundamentality]

That was a good one

 

[Strider]

Great!!! Second one was much better

 

[LLXerxes]

that joke sucked.
Even if the names were switched to conservatives, it would still suck

 

[shadowdude]

that joke sucked.
Even if the names were switched to conservatives, it would still suck

Lighten up for heavens sake, its a joke!

That was hilarious

I've gotta tell my friend this one.

 

[The Person]

Sad, but true. If you're smart, this is the way to go. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad and true.

 

[Elgalad]

Ybbor, that is just priceless!

Did you find that somewhere or write it yourself?

Either way, it's a scathing (and humorous) indictment of the drawbacks of socialism.


-Elgalad

 

[LLXerxes]

Ybbor, that is just priceless!

Did you find that somewhere or write it yourself?

Either way, it's a scathing (and humorous) indictment of the drawbacks of socialism.

The breaks in the lines show that it was c&p's

 

[ybbor]

that joke sucked.
Even if the names were switched to conservatives, it would still suck

wheter or not the names are rep or dem, is more or less irrelevant, this is more criticisng the democrat's philosophy (equal distribution of wealth) Vs. the republicans (keep what you earn). as the story is written to show some of the mo9re, ummm, not good points of the democratic idea, you as a die-hard un-comprimising democrate, dissagree with the messgae and thus don't get the joke. however, this is CFC, i laugh at anti-bush jokes, and as you can see, some of your fellow lefties like the joke too. leave the political statements at OT, don't bring the prejudces to H&J

 

[Paradigne]

I LOVE that story, have heard it a few times and never get tired of it... Thanks for the post

 

[Joeb WK]

That was quite good but did you really have to bring the U.S election up in it im so sick of hearing about it.

 

[ybbor]

That was quite good but did you really have to bring the U.S election up in it im so sick of hearing about it.

ummmmm, A) it never actually bring s the US election it mentions the republuicans but...

B)the joke was a satire of democrat belifies, remove democrate's ideas and there is no joke

C)you expect to wal into the H&J forum and not hear a political joke?

 

[Joeb WK]

A)It says vote republican so it cant be to do with anything else but the U.S election.
B)The joke could be about society in general not just democrate ideas.
C)I dont mind hearing the odd political joke in H and J but all I hear nearly all over CFC is U.S election this and U.S election that.

 

[Ballazic]

Very funny. Hahahahahaha

 

[useless]

lol vote repuplican lol

 

[Fizzi]

That was a really good one I think

 

[{|}$~\]

CORRECTION:
The "new version" posted above is incorrect.
The ant owns all the foraging grounds. He sits on his abdomen while the grasshopper gathers the food and gives 99.8% of it to the ant, while the remainder is barely enough to keep the grasshopper from starving. The ant promises 0.2% of his stored food to the grasshopper come winter. In the middle of November, the ant "downsizes" the grasshopper and leaves him to starve despite having worked his abdomen off all summer. One of the grasshopper's neighbors tries to get an interview with the ant and makes a movie about it. The ant's supporters claim he hates America.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Quite the bump...

Funny story, though I don't think the political bit at the end was quite necessary.

Nonetheless very funny.

 

[Botbot]

I know there's a political message in this somewhere - BUT WHERE?!?!?!

All seriousness and borderline racism aside, I didn't enjoy that one bit.
So the ant died because...the........

What?

I'm so confused. Are you trying to say that the lazy, drug-addicted black folk are taking the hard-working white folks land?

I seem to have been reading my history upside-down and back-to-front.

Are you putting foward the idea that white people have it tough when compared to black?

Is this some bizzaro attempt at ironic humour?

WHAT'S THE JOKE??!??!?!?!?

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

Being Swedish this is truely hilarious