The Byzantastic Adventure!
- Thread starter constantinople
- Start date
I think ol' Rico and gang are upset that you've abandoned them.
constantinople
not Istanbul
Maybe he's upset he died in the end. 
Emperor Bosco I
Guiding the flock
Which difficulty are you on? I never ran into Sassanids, but then I only played on Viceroy. Also, BURN GAZI TO THE GROUND!!!!! 
After building a navy, obviously. And dealing with the Egyptian revolt. And the Seljuk revolt. And the Turkmens. And the Mongols. And the Ottoman revolt. And the Timurids. And the next three plagues. And the Venetians. And, God forbid, the Muscovites.
Note: I am aware that you already played to the end, but still...
EDIT: And the Serbs.
After building a navy, obviously. And dealing with the Egyptian revolt. And the Seljuk revolt. And the Turkmens. And the Mongols. And the Ottoman revolt. And the Timurids. And the next three plagues. And the Venetians. And, God forbid, the Muscovites.Note: I am aware that you already played to the end, but still...
EDIT: And the Serbs.
constantinople
not Istanbul
This is just regular RFCE, maybe that's why.
constantinople
not Istanbul
Viceroy 
RFCE was equally unstable. Soon it will be...collapsing!
RFCE was equally unstable. Soon it will be...collapsing!
trexeric
Deity
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2011
- Messages
- 2,618
RFCE was equally unstable. Soon it will be...collapsing!
I see what you did there.
Emperor Bosco I
Guiding the flock
Venice was RFCE++ though, right? Because Lombardy was there?
constantinople
not Istanbul
Nope. Venice was one of the original civs, Lombardy was RFCE++.
Emperor Bosco I
Guiding the flock
^[That's what I meant, thanks trexeric]
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter VI: Arabs </3 Byzantines
George: So the Venetians continued to the Mediterranean, whether there were troops there was beyond the Byzantines. Maybe the Venetians just wanted to colonize land. Or maybe Enrico had gone crazy already.
Spoiler :
George: That same year, Enrico was randomly willing to make peace, for whatever reason. Oh well.
Spoiler :
George: The Venetian-Byzantine war was pretty useless but the two nations would never get along and conflicts would spark again and again (spoiler alert!). So the Byzzies could focus on the marauding horsemen of the east again.
Spoiler :
George: Now, the Byzantines were preparing for war against the Arabs who threatened Byzantine expansion. Constantine VII demanded a full out assault on Egypt and Syria. He hoped to conquer back the Holy Land too.
Spoiler :
George: Quickly, the Byzantines besieged Damascus. The Arabs were caught completely off guard and doubted they could hold the city. The Byzantines also plundered Arab land in vengeance for all of the Byzantine peasants massacred decades earlier.
Spoiler :
George: In 954, the Byzantines launched a complete assault on Domyat. The city was defended by the Nile so the battle was very bloody. The Byzantines cut off the city from reinforcements. Only minor boats could reach Domyat because the Arab navy was stationed in Cyprus, which Constantine VII hoped to conquer.
Spoiler :
George: Domyat fell just as Arabs were sending reinforcements, who were killed by Byzantine lancers.
Spoiler :
George: To the north, the same year Domyat fell, the Byzantines attacked Damascus. Now, the-
Jane: Erm, George, it's noon.
Theodore: So?
George: So?! We have to lunch! It's not 12:01, it's not 11:59, we need to stop for lunch. Let's go to that generic diner. Wow, I didn't think they made those anymore but we've already bumped into two...
Waitress: Welcam ta the Genahic Dineah. Can I take yah ahdah?
Theodore: Wow, this place even has waitresses with Bostonian accents. I feel right at home.
Jane: I'll have the spinach salad and tea.
George: I'd like the gorgonzola soup.
Theodore: I'll have the cheeseburger and the coke.
Waitress: Sa yah hahving the spinach sahlahd and tay, the gahgahzahla and a cheesebahgah and cahk?
Theodore: What was that last thing you said?
Waitress: I'll be 'ight bahck.
Theodore: ...Okay then... Continue the story!
George: Fine. So the Byzantines attacked Damascus, blah, blah, blah. It was a massacre for the Byzantines.
Spoiler :
George: They lost a large amount of soldiers and were hoping to go to the Holy Land but this may not be a possibility.
Spoiler :
George: The Emperor was going to send in troops but Caesaraea still had to fend off against barbarians.
Spoiler :
George: Luckily, they had a new invention, the guisarme. It was highly effective against mounted warriors such as the evil Muslim horse archers.
Spoiler :
George: In 966, a famous theologian, whose name I cannot remember, was born in Constantinople.
Theodore: He must have not been too famous.
George: Hush, child. He helped the piety of Constantinople and brought the Emperor more gold!
Spoiler :
George: In 696, the Byzantine Army decided to re-conquer Tyre, which became a very polluted, restless city that was sour, so that's what the Byzantines referred to it as.
Spoiler :
George: That same year, the Byzantine navy dropped off troops in Cyprus to reinforce Byzantine claims on the island. They demanded the surrender of the city. It refused.
Spoiler :
George: Three years later, the Byzantines attacked the Arab garrison and won the city.
Spoiler :
George: Things were looking good, the Empire had good stability and was regaining lost territory. All that was left was the second most city land, after Constantinople: Jerusalem. Oh, and Rome. Don't forget about Rome, kids.
Emperor Bosco I
Guiding the flock
Wow, Jerusalem is the second most city land? I thought the second most city land was Geneva, after Constantinople (which is Istanbul, not Constantinople, but that's nobody's business but the Turks.)
constantinople
not Istanbul
Constantinople is way more city than Geneva.
trexeric
Deity
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2011
- Messages
- 2,618
(which is Istanbul, not Constantinople, but that's nobody's business but the Turks.)
Oh, come on, now this is just begging to be put on here:
[YOUTUBE-OLD]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg[/YOUTUBE-OLD]
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter VII: Basil the Arab Slayer
George: So the horse archers continued to maul Byzantine lands. And it seemed the guisarme was less effective than first thought.
Spoiler :
George: The Battle of Sour was a humiliating failure for the Byzantines, only the horseman prevailed.
Spoiler :
George: So the Byzantines were forced to sign a treaty with the Arabs. Many Byzantines were bitterly disappointed that the Arab government didn't collapse. But I guess you can blame civ's crappy combat simula-, I mean low morale.
Spoiler :
George: The one benefit: the Byzantine Empire grew in size. They also gained more influence in the Middle East: Islamic civilizations were baffled the holy city of Damascus fell. The Arabs also lost the chance to expand into Africa.
Spoiler :
George: Still, that didn't stop them from sending more nomads to piss off the Byzzies. But, there were still more to come, and it was nearing the 1000s...
Theodore: So?
George: The Seljerks...
Theodore: The wha?
George: You'll find out later.
Spoiler :
George: But you know who was a big fat jerk? The Arabs! Just look at what Abby had the nerve to do!
Spoiler :
George: Raids...blah, blah, blah.
Spoiler :
George: Meanwhile, the Arabs were just begging for a culture war.
Spoiler :
George: So Basil II the Arab Slayer prepared to invade Arabia with a large army. He would do anything to get the Holy City back. Jerusalem was the second city place in the world.
Spoiler :
George: An Arab city was founded and Basil defied the world in 1026 by not dying a year earlier.
Spoiler :
George: There was too much to do so he declared war on the Arabs and sent an army to capture Tyre. He said, "I'm Tyred of running. My thirst for Arab blood needs to be Qudenched."
Spoiler :
George: But the had other problems, the hordes of barbs in the north.
Spoiler :
George: So the Arabs suicided themselves unto Byzantine cavalry, it was futile.
Spoiler :
George: The horse archers did the same near Sinope and won somehow. Cheaters...
Spoiler :
George: So the Byzantines brought in Cataphracts to kill the horseys. Basil responded by saying, "Cataphrak you, barbarians."
Spoiler :
George: Basil then launched the invasion of whatever the heck that annoying Arab city was. His brother, Constantine VIII, led the assault and personally beat seventeen Arab soldiers to death with a blade of really, really pointy grass. The city was named after Laranda, the child Basil never had.
Spoiler :
George: In 1032, the last of the evil horse archers were killed. Basil demanded that all of their wallets be taken.
Spoiler :
George: Basil realized that Al Quds would be hard to take back. So he had to wait outside the city. Just looking at his anger and epicness made the Arabs jizz themselves.
Spoiler :
George: In 1035 and 1038, the Byzantines laid siege to the city of Sour.
Spoiler :
George: The city fell in 1038 and so did Basil. He is remembered for his epicness and niceness, just not to the Arabs. An exotic herb reminded his cousin Michael IV the Paphlagonian of the blade of grass that killed 17 Arabs Constantine gave to Basil, so that herb is forever known as basil.
Similar threads
