The HEhe HAha Joke Thread 2.0

[Mirc]

It's way funnier when you replace those police departments with state police of different countries, and the last one is the USSR.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag.

One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children, and the other is a grocery bag.

 

[PhroX]

A group of animals are arguing about who's the most fearsome:

The bear says "Im the most fearsome. When I growl, everyone in the forest trembles with fear"

The tiger says "Im the most fearsome. When I roar, everyone in the jungle cowers in terror"

The pig says "That nothing. When I cough, the world craps itself".

 

[Zack]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a priest?

Spoiler :

They way they say amen.

Spoiler :

A priest says, "amen," while Michael Jackson says...

Spoiler :

"Ah, men."

 

[Huayna Capac357]

I heard it as:

What's the difference between a minister, Episcopal priest, and a Catholic priest?

Spoiler :

The minister says Amen.

Spoiler :

The Episcopal priest says Ah...men...

Spoiler :

The Catholic priest says Ah...boys...

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler :

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! The chicken needed change! CHANGE!

JOE BIDEN: This is the first mainstream chicken that is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking pullet.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Because, praise Jesus, I was gonna shoot his sorry liberal ass off for blocking my view of Russia!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -right from Day One!- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'this' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'other' side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die, in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the 'other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Wait -- did I miss one?

 

[Onionsoilder]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler :

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! The chicken needed change! CHANGE!

JOE BIDEN: This is the first mainstream chicken that is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking pullet.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Because, praise Jesus, I was gonna shoot his sorry liberal ass off for blocking my view of Russia!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -right from Day One!- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'this' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'other' side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die, in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the 'other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Wait -- did I miss one?

 

[Zack]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler :

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! The chicken needed change! CHANGE!

JOE BIDEN: This is the first mainstream chicken that is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking pullet.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Because, praise Jesus, I was gonna shoot his sorry liberal ass off for blocking my view of Russia!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -right from Day One!- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'this' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'other' side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die, in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the 'other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Wait -- did I miss one?

 

[Omni314]

NASA sent a woman and 2 chimps into space. Radio messages were as follows:
NASA to Chimp 1: Optimise life support systems and recalibrate radiation monitoring equipment.
NASA to Chimp 2: Check trajecktor and compensate if required using formula (m2-3n)(5-m)
NASA to Woman: Hoover capsule, feed chimp, touch nothing.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler :

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! The chicken needed change! CHANGE!

JOE BIDEN: This is the first mainstream chicken that is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking pullet.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: Because, praise Jesus, I was gonna shoot his sorry liberal ass off for blocking my view of Russia!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -right from Day One!- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'this' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'other' side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die, in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the 'other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Wait -- did I miss one?

Now that was beautiful.

 

[rhawn]

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die, in the rain, alone.

This one made me chuckle. The others....

 

[rhawn]

Anger Management:

Spoiler :

When I have the occasional bad day and need to take it out on someone, I don't take it out on my loved ones anymore...

I got the idea one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.

I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an A-hole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'A-hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or

had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an A-hole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'A-hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're

interested in the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an A-hole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first A-hole, (I had his number on speed dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW A-hole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an A-hole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two A-holes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called A-hole #1.

"Hello." "You're an A-hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"A-hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, A-hole."

Then I called A-hole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, A-hole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, A-hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 2 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two A-holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better.

This anger management really works!

 

[Gooblah]

The above one wasn't very funny IMO, but whatever.

Anywho...

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

Spoiler :

You would too if you name was "ouaouaaahhhh!"

 

[Zack]

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

Spoiler :

You would too if you name was "ouaouaaahhhh!"

Heard that one a million times.

Spoiler :

Get it?

But I seriously have heard that one a lot.

 

[Matthew5117]

Anger Management:

Spoiler :

When I have the occasional bad day and need to take it out on someone, I don't take it out on my loved ones anymore...

I got the idea one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.

I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an A-hole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'A-hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or

had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an A-hole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'A-hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're

interested in the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an A-hole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first A-hole, (I had his number on speed dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW A-hole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an A-hole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two A-holes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called A-hole #1.

"Hello." "You're an A-hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"A-hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, A-hole."

Then I called A-hole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, A-hole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, A-hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 2 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two A-holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better.

This anger management really works!

The above one wasn't very funny IMO, but whatever.

Anywho...

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

Spoiler :

You would too if you name was "ouaouaaahhhh!"

Nah, that's hilarious!

 

[Kennigit]

What's the speed limit of sex?

Spoiler :

68, because at 69 you have to turn around

 

[Zack]

What's the speed limit of sex?

Spoiler :

68, because at 69 you have to turn around

That's a good one.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

So this farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife asks him why he has a sheep under his arm. The farmer says "this is the pig I have to screw when you're not around." His wife says "if you were paying attention, you'd have realized that is a sheep." The farmer responds "if you were paying attention, you'd have realized I was talking to the sheep."

 

[Onionsoilder]

Back during the civil rights movement, it was said we would have a black president when pigs fly...

Sure enough, within 100 days of Obama's inauguration, swine flu.

 

[Zack]

I've heard that one a gazillion times.