The lamest jokes you can think of....... II

[!!!!!]

I could of grown really tall but i stopped short

 

[Graceheart the Leopard]

Link to video.

 

[KaiserElectric]

Someone told me that the animals they used for the Matador show all escaped.

What a load of bull!

 

[Iosubx51983]

The world's most wanted man drinking a "refeshing bottle of Coca-Cola" surfing the american news channels getting a daily dose of good american propaganda form the FAUX NEWS CHANNEL (and secretliy watching and recording american porn at the same time). He must not be getting much his wifves in bed so he was doing a "love" tape for them, but wait he HAD to do something about his LOOKS. So he got someone to go to the local market and get some JUST FOR MEN gel "the ONLY hair colorer for mistaches and beards" for the video he made ( NO GAIN FOR MR. GRAY!).

 

[american aaron]

What is the opposite of progress? Congress
HAHAHA

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

A guy walks into the butcher shop and says " I'll bet you $100 you can't reach the meat up there on the top shelf "

Butcher says " no way , the steaks are too high"

 

[Gatsby]

Q: What do you call an Arab who lives in the arctic?

A: A Brrr-brrr!

 

[Skwink]

Person a: I gotta good knock knock joke but you have to start it.

Person b: Ok, Knock knock!

Person a: Who's there?

Person b: ...

 

[Boundless]

One I made up myself aged 7...

What do peasants eat?





Peas and Ants...

 

[Theov]

A blind jew, a pirate with a parrot and a man with a bazooka walk into a bar.
Says the bartender: what kind of joke is this?!

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
Says the Rabbi: oops, I must be in the wrong joke.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I woke up in the middle of the night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of my bed .

At first I was I afraid , then I was petrified.

 

[Lord Baal]

I woke up in the middle of the night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of my bed .

At first I was I afraid , then I was petrified.

This joke make me break the arm off my chair. Definitely NOT lame.

 

[Mise]

I woke up in the middle of the night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of my bed .

At first I was I afraid , then I was petrified.

Brilliant!

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I can't keep that standard up , but sticking with the theme.......

I went to the doctor and told him I can't stop singing "Delilah" and "Green Green grass of Home " .

He explained that I had "Tom Jones Syndrome"

I asked if it was common

He said "it's Not Unusual "

 

[cardgame]

I'm too young to understand these ones, feel I'm missing out on something good.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I'm too young to understand these ones, feel I'm missing out on something good.

I'll trade you being old and getting it for being young and not !

Delilah , green green grass of home and it's not unusual are all famous Tom Jones songs .

Gloria Gaynor sang " I will survive " . Surely you know the opening line of that song .

They probably ain't funny when they have to be explained

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

What do Nikki Lauda and Hot Lips Hoolahan have in common ?

They've both been %#£€%# by Major Burns

 

[Skwink]

Why was Communism invented?

For the good of the people!!!! (that's the joke)

 

[KaiserElectric]

Want to hear a joke?

The Carter Administration

 

[Arakhor]

How do you know when there's an elephant in the fridge? There's footprints in the butter.
How do you know when there are two elephants in the fridge? You can hear giggling when the lights go off.
How do you know when there are three elephants in the fridge? Obviously, you can't shut the door.
How do you know when there are four elephants in the fridge? There's an empty Mini outside.