nonconformist
Miserable
Never use automatic gear-shift.
The Rules of Being a Man
- Thread starter Rambuchan
- Start date
fe3333au
Deity
Rambuchan said:fe333: Are you saying that your sis and friends saw this and rolled their own off in response? Or they did theirs independently? There are many shortcomings in their list as I've pointed out.
She sent it to me by default ... I'm on her e-mail send it to every one I know list ... so this is independent ... and the origin is a Wymen (who still want guys for sex and partnership) Power mentality
Rambuchan
The Funky President
You said it bro.fe3333au said:
I'd be interested to see what they make of OUR rules. Do feedback if you send it to them. Oh and you can send them my thoughts on THEIR rules too.
King Alexander
Universe explorer
Thanks, nonconformistnonconformist said:
Real Men(=REAL DRIVERS) use ONLY manual gear-shift.
fe3333au
Deity
Regarding road trips ... there are no unnessessary stops to look at wonderful vistas or look for bargains in that quaint antique shop ... get there as fast as possible ...
Unless you stop at the next pub for a beer or to buy a 'traveler' at the bottleshop ... or to buy a 'slab' (carton of 24 stubbies) for Ron (later on)
Unless you stop at the next pub for a beer or to buy a 'traveler' at the bottleshop ... or to buy a 'slab' (carton of 24 stubbies) for Ron (later on)
Agreed. Although two more restrictions are necessary:Rambuchan said:
-If he raped someone (not necessarily someone in your family), you musn't bail him out.
-If he's charged with public drunkenness, vandalism, and disturbance of the peace, you must be his cellmate.
Oh, and sorry Ram, but you really should NOT even know what the hell "lemon drizzle cake" is. Or at least, if you do know what it is, you shouldn't refer to it as "lemon drizzle cake."
And if your goal with fine cooking is to get and please women, why must you make a god awful mess? Hmm?
And if your goal with fine cooking is to get and please women, why must you make a god awful mess? Hmm?
nonconformist
Miserable
WillJ said:
Actually should be modified to "If Charged with drunkeness, vandalism, and disturbance of the peace, am ke sure you partake in said activity too"
Mathilda
Queen
Missed an important one:
Real men don't multitask.
Do housework and look after children :shakehead
Drive car and talk :shakehead
exception: it's possible to drink beer AND watch football at the same time.
Real men don't multitask.
Do housework and look after children :shakehead
Drive car and talk :shakehead
exception: it's possible to drink beer AND watch football at the same time.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
I have never been able to do more than one thing at a time.Mathilda said:
Real men stay out of the kitchen, because that is a women's place.
Quickly ducks for cover after saying that. 
El Justo
Deity
i must kindly object to that statementclassical_hero said:Real men stay out of the kitchen, because that is a women's place.
Lozzy_Ozzy
Rapture
Mathilda said:
I have two mothers
.Winston Khan
Fact = Reason
When ordering a curry from a professional outfit, always go for the 'hot' dishes; avoiding all 'plain' and 'soothing' side dishes.
For example, A Madras is about the level of heat acceptable. All Kormas should be left alone along with the 'plain' nan bread.
For example, A Madras is about the level of heat acceptable. All Kormas should be left alone along with the 'plain' nan bread.
Rambuchan
The Funky President
Welcome to CFC OT Winston 
Thanks for reminding me about this thread. There is a long overdue bill regarding 'Roadtrips' yet to come. I guess I will have to get round to that this week sometime.
As for yor curry house suggestions I feel perhaps they should be tucked into the Cooking Bill? It kind of fits there no?
Thanks for reminding me about this thread. There is a long overdue bill regarding 'Roadtrips' yet to come. I guess I will have to get round to that this week sometime.
As for yor curry house suggestions I feel perhaps they should be tucked into the Cooking Bill? It kind of fits there no?
fe3333au
Deity
A Tale about Men and the making of a Manly Curry.
The years of University ... wine casks, beer, dope and tim tams
I had a flatmate who offered to make curry for the house ...
"Do you want it Hot or still talking about it the next Day"
... he threatened ...
He made it soooo bloody hot we couldn't eat it without burning the roof of our mouths ... we got pizza ...
However, being that he was 'hot stuff' and the utterer of ... "What's the matter? ... Can't you wimps eat this?", to save face, he forced himself to eat an overly large portion ... what a Dick !!
...
My memories of a real man
The years of University ... wine casks, beer, dope and tim tams
I had a flatmate who offered to make curry for the house ...
"Do you want it Hot or still talking about it the next Day"
... he threatened ...He made it soooo bloody hot we couldn't eat it without burning the roof of our mouths ... we got pizza ...
However, being that he was 'hot stuff' and the utterer of ... "What's the matter? ... Can't you wimps eat this?", to save face, he forced himself to eat an overly large portion ... what a Dick !!
... My memories of a real man
Drewcifer
Agent of Karma
There are certainly some rules about drinking wine though they are not necessarily straight-forward.
There is a regular at my neighborhood bar who always orders Chardonnay. A man who drinks white wine at the bar/pub is obviously breaking the rules.
On the other hand, historically, wine is the drink of kings and there is nothing more macho than being the king.
It is also useful to know a thing or two about it while on a dinner date.
Red is more manly than white.
There is a regular at my neighborhood bar who always orders Chardonnay. A man who drinks white wine at the bar/pub is obviously breaking the rules.
On the other hand, historically, wine is the drink of kings and there is nothing more macho than being the king.
It is also useful to know a thing or two about it while on a dinner date.
Red is more manly than white.
Rambuchan
The Funky President
@ Mathilda: Thanks for the multi-tasking contribution but I don't feel it stands. Right now I am typing, breathing, listening to music and sitting on a chair. Clearly men are very capable of highly sophisticated multi-tasking endeavours. 
@ Drewcifer: You make a very good observation about wines there. I need to include this. I think a similar rule can apply to coffee and tea no?
@ Winston: I have considered your point and will be including it into the cooking section.
@ WillJ: I appreciate you highlighting the finer points of the 'alternate' rules of being a man. Let me remind you that these come from a highly questionable source which has proved it's plagiarism already. As a result I won't be placing a great priority in including these but I accept that your observations are bang on.
@ fe33: Thanks for your input. You'll find that your contribution has been included in the new "Road Trip Bill" which is being released for examination below:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Draft Bill)
RULE 21 ~ Regarding Road Trips:
This is a complex category of guidelines for manly behaviour and has been conveniently broken down for the male mind as follows:
1) Cars:
a) First up, it doesnt matter what kind of car you take. Whatever your finances allow for, whatever you love driving, take it.
b) However! Never take a road trip in your GF's car, that's what yours is for. She obviously never gets to drive your wheels unless on a road trip (see roles below)
c) You must pay constant attention to the condition of your car. Its a ladies job to neglect the upkeep of a vehicle.
d) However fast your car you must always challenge the fast ones. If you are old or young you may decide to do this in an aggressive or leisurely/discrete fashion. Either way, you must secretly covet the space in the lane in front of that Ferrari that just cruised past you.
Extra Special: Speed is of the essence.
2) The Roles Of Being A Road Trip Man: The distribution and appointment of these roles is naturally dependant on numberrs. But a Man should be aware of them and designate wherever possible.
a) Designated drivers: Anyone who refuses to drive fast fails to make it to the hot seat. Enduring a snail's pace piloting of the ship is simple torture for the speedfreak ~ see role of Driver.
b) Technofreak: This role is increasingly required on modern road trips. There needs to be someone who can man the CD player, radio, use the mobile for arranging amazing manly things, battling with the satnav menu and so on.
c) The Beatch: That means rolling the ciggies, passing the water, sorting out the food in the back seat, etc. If it's justs guys in the car then tough luck on the girly man
d) Navigator: Granted that we now have satnav systems. But these don't all have sexy female voices and are far from commonplace. So you need a navigator. The crap driver is always a good candidate for this, as is the beatch (obvious points of weakness here though), hence this role can be assumed by anyone and is interchangeable.
e) The Driver: Is exempt from all the above. He must simply chew up as much road on behalf of the boys and needs to be pampered constantly for their sterling effort.
Extraneous Circumstances: In the case of a romantic road trip with the GF: She only drives when the true driver is good for only sleeping. At all other times, shes in the passenger seat.
3) All Other rules:
a) Long silences are ok, but not necessary (you could be putting the world to rights).
b) Bladderstops dictated by the one with the greatest control. This should be rolled up with blood circulation exercises (body is a temple remember). Note: If you stop at public toilets, there are specific guidelines issued above. Suffice to say here that the motto Piss, wash, get out is always a good one.
c) Fatigue is a rude word. Only girly men in white coats would be sissy enough to say stuff like: After 18 hours with no sleep your reflexes are as slow as if you were over the drink drive alcohol limit or After two hours constant driving, your reactions have slowed significantly I mean really!!
d) Dictation of food stops comes from quality of outlet. You should be prepared to drive 50 miles down the road to get a steak, rather than stop now for some quiche. This should be obvious guys.
e) There are no unnessessary stops to look at wonderful vistas or look for bargains in that quaint antique shop. Get there as fast as possible. Unless you stop at the next pub for a beer or to buy a 'traveler' at the bottleshop ... or to buy a 'slab' (carton of 24 stubbies) for Ron (later on).
@ Drewcifer: You make a very good observation about wines there. I need to include this. I think a similar rule can apply to coffee and tea no?
@ Winston: I have considered your point and will be including it into the cooking section.
@ WillJ: I appreciate you highlighting the finer points of the 'alternate' rules of being a man. Let me remind you that these come from a highly questionable source which has proved it's plagiarism already. As a result I won't be placing a great priority in including these but I accept that your observations are bang on.
@ fe33: Thanks for your input. You'll find that your contribution has been included in the new "Road Trip Bill" which is being released for examination below:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Draft Bill)
RULE 21 ~ Regarding Road Trips:
This is a complex category of guidelines for manly behaviour and has been conveniently broken down for the male mind as follows:
1) Cars:
a) First up, it doesnt matter what kind of car you take. Whatever your finances allow for, whatever you love driving, take it.
b) However! Never take a road trip in your GF's car, that's what yours is for. She obviously never gets to drive your wheels unless on a road trip (see roles below)
c) You must pay constant attention to the condition of your car. Its a ladies job to neglect the upkeep of a vehicle.
d) However fast your car you must always challenge the fast ones. If you are old or young you may decide to do this in an aggressive or leisurely/discrete fashion. Either way, you must secretly covet the space in the lane in front of that Ferrari that just cruised past you.
Extra Special: Speed is of the essence.
2) The Roles Of Being A Road Trip Man: The distribution and appointment of these roles is naturally dependant on numberrs. But a Man should be aware of them and designate wherever possible.
a) Designated drivers: Anyone who refuses to drive fast fails to make it to the hot seat. Enduring a snail's pace piloting of the ship is simple torture for the speedfreak ~ see role of Driver.
b) Technofreak: This role is increasingly required on modern road trips. There needs to be someone who can man the CD player, radio, use the mobile for arranging amazing manly things, battling with the satnav menu and so on.
c) The Beatch: That means rolling the ciggies, passing the water, sorting out the food in the back seat, etc. If it's justs guys in the car then tough luck on the girly man
d) Navigator: Granted that we now have satnav systems. But these don't all have sexy female voices and are far from commonplace. So you need a navigator. The crap driver is always a good candidate for this, as is the beatch (obvious points of weakness here though), hence this role can be assumed by anyone and is interchangeable.
e) The Driver: Is exempt from all the above. He must simply chew up as much road on behalf of the boys and needs to be pampered constantly for their sterling effort.
Extraneous Circumstances: In the case of a romantic road trip with the GF: She only drives when the true driver is good for only sleeping. At all other times, shes in the passenger seat.
3) All Other rules:
a) Long silences are ok, but not necessary (you could be putting the world to rights).
b) Bladderstops dictated by the one with the greatest control. This should be rolled up with blood circulation exercises (body is a temple remember). Note: If you stop at public toilets, there are specific guidelines issued above. Suffice to say here that the motto Piss, wash, get out is always a good one.
c) Fatigue is a rude word. Only girly men in white coats would be sissy enough to say stuff like: After 18 hours with no sleep your reflexes are as slow as if you were over the drink drive alcohol limit or After two hours constant driving, your reactions have slowed significantly I mean really!!
d) Dictation of food stops comes from quality of outlet. You should be prepared to drive 50 miles down the road to get a steak, rather than stop now for some quiche. This should be obvious guys.
e) There are no unnessessary stops to look at wonderful vistas or look for bargains in that quaint antique shop. Get there as fast as possible. Unless you stop at the next pub for a beer or to buy a 'traveler' at the bottleshop ... or to buy a 'slab' (carton of 24 stubbies) for Ron (later on).
Bozo Erectus
Master Baker
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2003
- Messages
- 22,389
Im afraid I have to disagree with you on this one Drew. Real man drink wine only when there are no manly drinks like scotch or vodka around. Since they dont drink wine, real men would never have a corkscrew opener lying around, so real men only open wine bottle with screwdrivers or knives.Drewcifer said:
