The Tortoise and the Hare

[Theov]

Whatcha know about winning!!
In the Epic Mealtime version, we wrap the hare in bacon strips and bacons strips and bacon strips, cover it with mac and cheese, deep fry it because that's smart! Then put the result in a pig and cover it with syrup. Then we roast it on the bbq and sprinkle some bacon burgers around them.
We cover it in chocolate and eat it with pretty girls.
And next time? We eat the tortoise.

 

[reddishrecue]

The hare wins but slow and steady won the race which made the tortoise win because its slow and steady.

 

[W|M]

IЙ SФѰiӘТ ГЦssiД, ГДҀӘ ЩiЛs slФѰ ДЛЮ sТӘDЏ!

 

[Omega124]

My favorite is the Charles Darwin version, where the tortise winning allows him to "pass his genes" while the hare dies a virgin.

 

[Lord Baal]

As opposed to the Biblical version, where the hare is created out of the tortoise's rib.

 

[Agent Cooper]

In the David Lynch version no one cares about the race, since everything is revealed to be a surreal fantasy anyway...

 

[Tycho Brahe]

In the Woody Allen version the tortoise never get to the race, cause his lying on his back at his shrinks couch and can't get up. But he still get to kiss the yong hot girl.

 

[_random_]

I heard Tarantino's making a version where the tortoise cuts off one of the hare's ears.

And speaks in a thick, Tennesseean accent.

According to the leaked script, it will be told in anachronistic order and the race itself will never be seen. Rather, the viewer pieces together the events of the race based on various scenes from preparation and the aftermath.

 

[reddishrecue]

In the Woody Allen version the tortoise never get to the race, cause his lying on his back at his shrinks couch and can't get up. But he still get to kiss the yong hot girl.

The turtle was lying on its back and couldnt win against or lose against the rabbit on that time then.

 

[CoffeeShopFrank]

It's been a long time since I checked this part of the forum. It's good to see this thread is still going strong! I didn't know this would catch on, but it's good to see people are having fun here.

My turn!

In the J. K. Rowling version of the story, Tortoise kills Hare.

Here's one for the people who played Fable!
Peter Molyneux claimed that his version of the story would feature many different paths you can travel and that each step you took would have a major impact on the race. Many people were disappointed when they discovered that there was only one path the turtle could travel, and that the ending was the same no matter what.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Here's one for the people who played Fable!
Peter Molyneux claimed that his version of the story would feature many different paths you can travel and that each step you took would have a major impact on the race. Many people were disappointed when they discovered that there was only one path the turtle could travel, and that the ending was the same no matter what.

And it would be the best race ever and no one would ever be able to beat it and it would be revolutionary and the best ever.

 

[W|M]

In the Civ IV version, the race took 6050 years and caused the making of an entire civilization just to see it finished!

 

[nonconformist]

The Tarantino one where both the Tortoise and the Hare die. Also. the Hare is played by Harvey Keitel.