UPDATE TWO – March 2013
Organisation|Player
The Silencers|Special NPC
The Collective of Applied Hedonism and Coolness|Seon
The Perimeter Agency|Sonereal
Cenobium Security|thomas.berubeg
Necrotic Broterhood|jackelgull
The Hunters|Reus
Jasim Nened |Ailedhoo
United Nations Interdimensional and Paranormal Crime Enforcement and Investigation Organisation|Terran Empress
The Deucalion Guard|KaiserElectric
Ay'la Syn Expedition|Tolni
“Am I really going out like this?” Samantha thought to herself as she barricaded the doors “Listening to bloody Lady Gaga on loop?”. Still, the deafening sounds of her singing was better than what would await her as soon as the music went out. She estimated that she would have less than five minutes before they broke down the doors and dragged her into the sea. That would be enough to get a warning out, maybe someone out there would be able to contain what they could not.
Before she was headhunted by the Bureau, Samantha was a Hunter. She was relatively new to the organisation, which was why she was probably spared the horror that had gripped the rest of the Bureau. She only hoped that they hadn’t gotten around to locking her account out of the secret Hunter intranet.
“It would be so easy to just open the door and follow the rest of them.” She thought momentarily “
She It could use
her its body as a vessel and drown forever in the warm sea. It could drown its mind and sing forever-” Samantha snapped herself out of it and turned the music up louder. She needed to keep that damn singing out of her head, or it would be the end for her. And for everyone.
She logged into her account, which to her eternal shame, was called PrincessDeathmaster. She was an
extreme chuunibyou when she was in the Hunters, but there was nothing she could do about that now. There was a livestreaming function on the intranet, but it was rarely used as the lack of editing functions meant that it was very easily to livestream sensitive information. That wasn’t a concern for her anymore, she just needed to ensure her message got out.
“My name is Samantha Woodsworth,” she began talking into the webcam “And, as I am firm in the belief that I am the only living member of the Bureau that hasn’t had their brain fried by a cognitohazard, I am assuming the role of Acting Director of the Bureau of Extranormality.” Going from glorified intern to the head of her organisation in less than a year? Her mother would be proud, if it weren’t for the extenuating circumstances.
“I’m sorry for the blaring pop music,” Samantha continued “But you really don’t want to hear what’s being sung outside. I’m resisting the effects, but I can feel it clawing at my mind. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. This cognitohazard and the damned fleet that spawned it, it’s a Seigneur Class Anomaly and its breached containment. Not that any of you would know what that means.” Samantha sighed.
“A few decades ago,” Samantha continued “We contained something that we referred to as the Judas Flotilla. An anomalous fleet of ships at Point Nemo were discovered, crewed by no one yet capable of moving at impossible speeds and attacking when provoked. The number of ships grew and last December it up and disappeared. It also made this noise…the Bureau thought the noise harmless, but it was a cognitohazard. It caused them to fall under the control of that damned thing.” Samantha begins crying.
“Today…” she continued “We found the Flotilla. Its moving towards Singapore. We were mobilizing to stop it but then…the infected, they started singing. Most of them just straight up walked off into the sea, or drowned themselves however they could. They contorted themselves in impossible ways…my best friend, she drowned herself in a bloody bathroom sink. And they dragged anyone who resisted their infection off to sea with them. I only was able to escape through sheer luck.” The banging on the door got louder.
“I implore you,” Samantha frantically pleaded “Stop it! You must stop the Flotilla before it gets to Singapore. That’s five and a half million people completely unprepared for what’s coming. Who knows what sadistic torture it will inflict upon those poor people? And that’s assuming that the Silencers don’t blow up the city first. I’m not just talking to the Hunters here, I’m talking to everyone with spies embedded in here that can do something! Please!”
Suddenly, the door broke open. Samantha pulled the plug from the hard drive, stopping them from corrupting her livestream. As the Flotilla’s Thralls jumped at her, she finally understood. There
were no ships at point Nemo. The Judas Flotilla
didn’t exist. What was out there…it was far worse than anyone could possibly imagine.
****************
C:\Users\no1uno\Delphi.exe
>Delphi.exe v.1.06 activated…
>“Hello again, no1uno! Hope things are going well for you.”
>“It appears that my program has been updated recently. Would you like to hear about my new features?” Y/n
>y
>“Great! My programmers have given me more functionality for my event tags! When describing an [EXTRANORMAL INCIDENT], I will give the difficulty and the impact of the incident. Difficulty will continue to remain a number describing how difficult the event will be to resolve. Impact will be described on a scale consisting of LOW, MODERATE, HIGH, VERY HIGH, SEVERE, EXTREME, APOCOLYPTIC. LOW and MODERATE events should only affect small communities of people if handled improperly. HIGH and VERY HIGH events could affect thousands of people if handled improperly. SEVERE and EXTREME events could affect entire cities and/or countries if handled improperly. APOCOLYPTIC events could affect the entire world or universe if handled improperly.
>“My creators and I hope that this new functionality helps you make more informed decisions about the events that you are monitoring!”
>“Would you like to see an extended change log?” y/N
>n
>“Okay then! Type begin and I’ll start my operation!”
>begin
>Delphi.exe retrieving data…
>printing…
>done!
Judas Flotilla [Source: Jupiter Report Blog] [EXTRANORMAL INCIDENT] [DANGER LEVEL – 3] [IMPACT – EXTREME]
Welcome to a special edition of the Jupiter Report, my name is Gazikumukh. If you wish to learn more about my blog, please read the about page.
The very recent revelations by Samantha Woodsworth of the Bureau of Extranormality could have very real implications for both the geopolitical and extranormal communities. Extranormal activity has not threatened national security on this scale since the Black Sun incident of 1958. The extranormal organisations of the world must mobilise to contain the Judas Flotilla or risk the likely destruction of Singapore and intervention by the Silencers.
Trash Killer [Source: The Oregonian, via oregonlive.com] [EXTRANORMAL INCIDENT] [DANGER LEVEL – 2] [IMPACT – LOW]
A tourist family from Texas in the popular tourist location of Lincoln City, Oregon were believed to be murdered last evening. No details have been released by the police. Neighbours reported the smell of burning trash coming from the house and witnessed a human silhouette leaving the building.
Hang the DJ [Source: The Irish Times] [EXTRANORMAL INCIDENT] [DANGER LEVEL – 2] [IMPACT – HIGH]
Police are investigating the death of John “DJ Treble Trouble” Jefferies, a DJ that was booked to host the Digital Dublin festival of digital music. This is the third suspicious death in connection to the Digital Dublin festival, although the other two were determined by the police to be suicides. Festival organiser Benjamin “DJ Cactus” Brown has assured the public that the event will still occur over the first weekend of March as planned and that he will now be the primary host.
Ghostly Hitchhiker [Source: MidnightThoughts Blog] [EXTRANORMAL INCIDENT] [DANGER LEVEL – 2] [IMPACT – MODERATE]
Hello fellow Midnight Thinkers, its time for another Ghost Hunt! This time we’re going to Argentina to hunt for a common type of ghostly apparition, a hitchhiker! There have been a disturbing amount of explosive car crashes on the Argentinian section of the Pan-American Highway. And by explosive, I mean literally explosive. Cars seem to be spontaneously exploding after crashing into trees. The most interesting thing? All surviving drivers report picking up of a tall young man with white hair. And some bystanders have sworn they have seen said man emerge from the wrecks unharmed and walk off into the wilderness. Spooky stuff.
Military and Government Personnel Arrested in Anti-Corruption Push [Source: RT Online News] [EVENT]
The Investigative Committee of Russia have brought charges against multiple important people in the sphere of the government, the military and business for corruption and related crimes. This is a large shakeup in the makeup of Russian politics. Vladimir Putin has assured critics that the ICR are performing their missions statement within the scope of their new mandate and that this current anti-corruption push will result in a stronger Russia.
Are Russian Oligarchs Hiring PMCs to Oppose Anti-Corruption Push? [Source: Russia Uncensored] [EVENT]
Prominent Russian oligarchs have denied the use of PMCs to assassinate government officials as part of their opposition to Putin’s recent anti-corruption push. Yet the disappearance of ICR government officials paints a very different picture. Join us for a special expose on the unintended consequences of Putin’s anti-corruption push – the latest battle in the great war over influence in Russia.
Disappearance of Aosta Parliament [Source: Corriere della Sera, translated from Italian] [EVENT]
The entirety of the 35 man Aosta Valley Parliament disappeared from their homes last night. No other members of their household are believed to have been harmed. How this was achieved is currently unknown, it is currently believed by the Italian Government that this was a politically motivated kidnapping. However, no ransom or demand has yet been made. Aosta Valley will be governed directly from Rome until elections can be held, which are scheduled for May this year.
Denouncement of Australian Culture [Source: People for the Ethical Treatment of Cryptids Blog] [EVENT]
PETC once again wishes to denounce Australian culture for persecuting poor persecuted cryptids. That poor Spiderman creature was probably lonely, I’m sure that’s the reason why it was trying to talk to that woman. But no, that’s not good enough for Australians, who are probably doing unspeakable things to that poor creature. You make me sick. How dare you. We of PETC hope that Australia gets eaten by Athaalth'dhrig the Devourer for all the countless crimes they have committed.
Public Service Announcement [Source: Thames’ Water Twitter] [EVENT]
[Tweet 1]: Please do not enter the London sewer system unless you have the approval of our organisation.
[Tweet 2]: We have multiple complaints of injuries from those entering the sewers.
[Tweet 3]: Thames Water is not liable for any injuries caused by entering the sewage system without proper permission or training.
Doggun Factory Explodes, Kills Foreman [Source: Global Times, translated from Mandarin] [EVENT]
A factory known locally as the “Li Factory” has exploded in Doggun, killing Foreman Huan Li and an unconfirmed number of employees. The factory was under investigation by government officials for workplace violations. Investigations have not yet determined if this was arson or an accidental fire.
Sao Paulo Lion Found Dead [Source: Folha de S.Paulo Online, translated from Portuguese] [EVENT]
A heavily charred lion skeleton was found in the ruin of a condemned housing apartment that had been destroyed in a fire last week. It is believed that the corpse is the lion that disappeared from the zoo last month. Police are investigating the reason why the lion was in the apartment block and any potential foul play.
More Asian Incel Problems [Source: /r/incels user /u/Indian_Incel] [EVENT]
Hah, you stupid Thailander ****s think you have it bad. You should see what it is like in India. The other day, I saw a dozen of the biggest Chads I’ve ever seen. I’m sure when they’re done [expletive redacted] our women, they’re going to [expletive redacted] me too. No doubt about it.
Captcha is Source of Truth! [Source: TruthWars Blog] [EVENT]
As all faithful followers of my blog know, Captcha is actually the Deep State AI desperately trying to tell humans the truth of the world that is being hidden by the Illuminati, the Reptoids, the Greys and of course the Leprechauns. Well today I generated the Captcha for this website’s spam filter and do you know what words I found? “BREAK” and “STORM”. This clearly is a sign that soon we will have definite evidence that Michelle Obama was assassinated by the Clintons and replaced by an android to further Obama’s neo-Satanist Communist plot to nationalise Philadelphia. Mark my words, we’re going to be seeing something important happen soon.
Credit Suisse Extranormal Security [Source: Advertisement on the Extranormal Internet] [EVENT]
Need something contained? Something that potentially breaks the known laws of physics? We have the solution. Credit Suisse’s Extranormal Security division has not had a breach since 1958. Secure, contain and protect the Extranormal with Credit Suisse.
****************
Hi everyone! Let’s put the orders lock for the
19th of January (Canberra time ofc) as I’ll be busy with my horrific weeb game until then. In the meantime I’ve just got a minor but important rule change to announce. I’m adding a new action:
Obscure Element: After one of your Elements are attacked, you may perform an Obscure Element roll. An Obscure Element roll is a contest between your Security and their Infiltration attributes, on success your attacker will no longer be able to interact with your element until they perform another successful Scout Element action.
Additionally, I've added a new type of Element. Level 0 Elements don't provide any direct Attribute bonuses to your organisation, even though they still have an Attribute. Instead, they will provide a strong conditional bonus. Level 0 Elements will be destroyed upon Sabotage or successful Attack like Level 1 Elements.
As usual, PMs will be going out in the next ten minutes. If you don't get one by then, please complain to me!
