The Worst Chat Up Lines Ever

[Mathilda]

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.


Are your parents ********, 'cause you sure are special.


My Love for you is like diarrohea ... I can't hold it in.


Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.


Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.


If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.


You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.


Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.


I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.


I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.


Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.


If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.



:suicide:

 

[BCLG100]

do your legs hurt? cos you've been running round my mind all day

 

[Swiss Bezerker]

Not a pick up line but:
Friendship is like the piss in my pants: everyone can see, but only you feel the true warmth

 

[Verbose]

"The pest controll people have been fumigating my digs for the cockroaches all day. Can I stay at your place?"
(Authentic. Worked too. They married eventually.)

Drunk guy in bar hands over his credit card to a pretty girl:
"Here! Have a drink on me until I start looking good."
(A classic.)

 

[classical_hero]

You point a finger a person and call them over, just using your finger. They come over.
You say, "Imagine if I can make you come with just one finger, imagine what I can do wih all my fingers."

 

[The Great Apple]

Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

That one's great!

*scribbles down on the back of his hand*

 

[Silibili]

Let's go back to your place. My girlfriend's the jealous type.

I bet you fat ugly chicks don't get many chances with a handsome man like me.

What's a low girl like you doing in a nice joint like this?

Do you play Civilization?

and BTW 'Fat penguin'' sounds to me like a good chat up line - I plan to road-test it soon.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

I will twist around a couple of Mathilda's in order to get some new ones:

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

Man - Do you know how much a polar bear weights?
Woman - No, how much?
Man - Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm *enter name*

 

[Knowze Gungk]

Ahh, I see the hydroxybutyrate has worn off. There's codine if you have a headache.

 

[BCLG100]

2 girls in a bar one uglyier than the other, you appraoch the ugly one
'fancy a dance?'
uglier one 'yer!!!'
'@&*% off then i want to talk to your mate'

 

[oagersnap]

I will twist around a couple of Mathilda's in order to get some new ones:



I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.




Man - Do you know how much a polar bear weights?
Woman - No, how much?
Man - Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm *enter name*

Sorry, but Mathila's were better.

 

[Fifty]

"I want to pee in your butt"

 

[BCLG100]

' i want to skin you like a deer'
from a bloodhound gang song.

 

[Abaddon]

Can i have your number? I lost mine?


Is that a ladder in your tights or the stairway to heaven

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven




Man: "Guess a number"
Woman: "Twelve"
Man "Wrong, get ur tits out!"

 

[BCLG100]

'heres 20p go call your mum and tell her your not coming home tonight'

the max and paddy reply to that was awesome
'ive got a mobile D@@@head'

 

[Silibili]

Man - Do you know how much a polar bear weights?
Woman - No, how much?
Man - Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm *enter name"

Thanks Beaver, that sounds better than ' Fat Penguin'! q-:

 

[Swiss Bezerker]

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

 

[Taliesin]

*Drops an icecube* Now that I've broken the ice, let's ****.

 

[Sahkuhnder]

Man (slight mumble): Tickle your p***y with a feather?
Woman: What?
Man: I said, "Particularly nice weather."

 

[LLXerxes]

Do you have a shovel? 'Cause I dig you