Things I learned about the science of warfare through Civilization IV

[Grassland Farm]

-Machine-gunners are only able of defending themselves. This is because the use of machinguns is restricted to the ethics of the Geneva Contravention of 1337, 30 Feb.
-If one finishes a large building called a Wonder, all similar buildings under construction will be turned into a pile of gold.
-an undefended catapult can roll over a civilian and capture it.
-If a siege weapon is ordered to attack a very wounded soldier, they won't obey, because pain causes a magnetic forcefield that reflects rocks and cannonballs.
-If a soldier is paradropped into the sea with a WBuilder Plane, he will stand still on the water but won't be able to move. The heavy package of the soldier prevents him to swim but Archimede's Push makes him stay out the sea.
-A pack of soldier led by a general may run as fast as a horse.
-All humans fear to cross peaks, as they emit forcefield that destroys genitals. Tanks and mechanized Infantry can't cross it either because they're too heavy for the climb.

 

[Optical]

Ironclads had a short timespan and weren't used much...

Oh, wait...

 

[elmurcis]

I finally understood how Spearman can beat Tank (Modern Armor, if precisally) - he throw him spear into Tank Gun, so when it shoots, amunnition blows up inside barrel and Tank is gone
Wanted to try yesterday - how many Spearman need to beat Modern Armor, placed 45 Spearman for me in WB and 1 Modern Armor for Barbarians... 1st Spearman attack and...... wow... Modern Armor dead and Spearman got just 45% injury (he made just 1 single shot while spearman hit him 13 times , stupid barbarians, don't know how to reload)

 

[LegionSteve]

I finally understood how Spearman can beat Tank (Modern Armor, if precisally) - he throw him spear into Tank Gun, so when it shoots, amunnition blows up inside barrel and Tank is gone
Wanted to try yesterday - how many Spearman need to beat Modern Armor, placed 45 Spearman for me in WB and 1 Modern Armor for Barbarians... 1st Spearman attack and...... wow... Modern Armor dead and Spearman got just 45% injury (he made just 1 single shot while spearman hit him 13 times , stupid barbarians, don't know how to reload)

lol, depending on the difficulty level you get automatic wins in your first X battles against barbs.

Barbs AI: "WTF, human is cheating !!!111"

 

[toll_booth]

-Napoleon preferred to fight his sea battles in an environmentally friendly manner.
-You can never hike to the north or south pole, ever. Allegedly, however, you can fly there.
-We would be a healthier society if we would just shut down every power plant, even renewables. And nobody would even complain if we did this.
-Contrary to what history books claim, antiwar sentiment and the draft have always gone hand-in-hand.
-The discovery of the scientific method did not help science but hindered it.
-Religions may come, but they never go. People of different religions within a civilization always get along, even if they live in a theocracy.
-The single most effective way to make everybody happy is to abolish democracy, create or restore the throne, and have the biggest military possible. You don't need the latest technology for this to work; it is the quantity, not the quality, of the fighting force that creates this effect.
-When a city decide to celebrate it's nation's leader, they will willingly pick up the tab not just for the celebration, but all basic city services for that day/year.
-The Great Wall has a not-so-secret code that explains how to pass through it with relative ease. But you have to at least be literate to understand it, which is why barbarians could not get through.
-The alphabet was invented before math was.

 

[Ice_Tyrant]

You can send a scout out to find out the lay of the land, and you will know what he found at the same moment because you and the scout have a psychic link of some sort.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Artillery might be more powerful than a catapult, but not nearly as satisfying...

You can't set an enemy spy on fire and load him into an artillery unit for the trip home - he won't fit.

 

[happyturtle]

Somehow, the technology that spies use to beam themselves home after a mission isn't available for any other purpose, military or civilian.

 

[TheMulattoMaker]

Somehow, the technology that spies use to beam themselves home after a mission isn't available for any other purpose, military or civilian.

There's a similar technology that beams military units across hundreds of miles of ocean onto deserted islands. It's only activated by opponents' border expansions.

 

[happyturtle]

I thought those units were blasted away by loud music concerts as the area gets culture.

 

[TheMulattoMaker]

I thought those units were blasted away by loud music concerts as the area gets culture.

 

[Tristan_C]

• A Paratrooper specializes in dropping in behind enemy lines and holding a position there. Paratroopers are born and bred with one character weakness, however: while falling out of the sky, they suddenly, and inexplicably, admire honest work. A paratrooper idolizes the common worker for a brief span of time, and will go to any length not to harm a worker after making a paradrop. Psychologists believe this anomaly is linked to the phenomenon of people having various revelatory experiences while skydiving, but are baffled as to the frequency (in a study, 100,000 out of 100,000 paratroopers surveyed reported this exact symptom). Experienced modern warmongers have learned to assemble some guys together in every city, giving them a sixpence cap, yellow overalls, and a Lunchbox. This immunizes a city against capture by paratroopers.
• Before the dawn of recorded time, the Barbarian State met with delegations of Lions, Panthers, Wolves, and Bears. The Barbarian State managed to secure these fierce animals as allies, who now hunt in large packs seeking enemy armies. The animals retained their ancient nobility by stipulation; despite being loyal to the Barbarian State and at war with civilization, they will not cross national borders.

 

[Bushface]

You can't set an enemy spy on fire and load him into an artillery unit for the trip home - he won't fit.

Obviously not a person of the right calibre . . .

 

[uat2d]

Obviously not a person of the right calibre . . .

Word play

 

[Optical]

Good call, Bushface.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Obviously not a person of the right calibre . . .

Score one for Bushface! Well done!

(Said Lemon, wiping the coffee off of her keyboard.)

 

[DroopyTofu]

One small lake is sufficient to provide irrigation for farming spanning an infinite period of time over half a continent, provided that the people in the government are tested to make sure that they are qualified.

 

[toll_booth]

One small lake is sufficient to provide irrigation for farming spanning an infinite period of time over half a continent, provided that the people in the government are tested to make sure that they are qualified.

Even in modern times, irrigation pipes can only be placed under farms. Technology will never be invented to allow pipes to go safely through towns or mining complexes.

 

[uat2d]

Even in modern times, irrigation pipes can only be placed under farms. Technology will never be invented to allow pipes to go safely through towns or mining complexes.

Never say never.

 

[DesertPfox]

Even in modern times, irrigation pipes can only be placed under farms. Technology will never be invented to allow pipes to go safely through towns or mining complexes.

Actually, when your civilization learns how to convince its citizens that serfdom is not slavery through the notion of 'civil service', towns all magically become irrigated provided they are near a water source or framed fields.