This is the most insane thing I have ever read

[hardcore_gamer]

I was browsing through fanfic.net where I found some stories written by this author called "Dr.Splattenburgers".

This is his profile:

Hello there! I am Dr.Splattenburgers. Me really loves furry and Pokemon! Me hobbies include playing Pokemon, "watching furry" and killing deh noobs that think there cool on Halo (BEST GAME EVA!!) and counter-strike (because only the elite play CS!!).

Me all time fav movies include Titanic because it has a naked chick in it (OMG!!) and Raiders of the Lost Ark because there is a scene where everybody starts to scream and yell before there heads blow up and its just like 10000000 full of awesome!

Me fav book is the bible because god keeps treating everybody like shitte by drowning and burning people and its funny as to read!

Me fav music include "deh internet is for porn" because its SOOOOO TRUE!!

AND THEN of course I also enjoy writing fan fiction (DUH!!).

PS. If you want to challenge the master online, then send me your Xbox live user name account so that I may challenge you on Halo! I DARE YA!!

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2253811/Dr_Splattenburgers

Yea........

What caught my attention was this Toy Story fan fic (I really love Toy Story ) he appears to have written some time ago called "The day of melted plastic" or something, a short story that takes place after Toy Story 3 ended where Andy is murdered and Sid from the first film returns. The story is actually so short it can be shown in its entirety on less then half a page:

Toy Story: The day of melted plastic​

It was a great sunny day indeed!

Ever since Andy had left the toys with that sweet little girl fallowing his leaving to college, the toys had never been happier!

But peace and love never lasting, and the toys were COMPLETELY crushed once they heard that Andy had died only a week after going to college when his gay lover lost control of his car and drove both him and Andy straight into a NRA convention where he was shot into giblets for being gay.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY DOES RACISM DO THIS! Woody yelled on his knees while starring violently into the sky extremely sad.

And then they all started to cry...

But Buzz who was the leader now calmed everybody down and told them that this did not matter as much as it would before since Andy was no longer their owner and that they just had to accept that he was gone a second time.

Then the fallowing night when everybody was asleep Woody heard something strange happening. He stood up and decided to check it out. He walked really slowly because he did not want to wake up the others, and after doing some walking he found out that the noise was coming from the outside. He peaked out the window and saw that Sid was back!

Oh noes! This is baaaaaaaaad!Woody said to himself.

Woody then went to Mr. Potato head who was having sex with Mr. Potato woman and told him that Sid was back.

Oh noes! This is really bad, last time I met him he took away my penis and it took me 7 weeks to find it again, Mr. Potato head said to Woody.

Then all of the toys had a meeting and Woody was the leader this time. We must destroy Sid! He is a menace to the world. Woody Said.

The toys agreed and they then waited for the night. Once night came they sneaked into Sid's house and made holes into all of the gas canisters inside Sid's house so they would leak and then they left the house. Once Sid woke up the day after he lighted a match so that he could smoke like he does every morning and then the house exploded and he and his family died.

Once they were back home Woody was a great hero for his plan. So much in fact that Barbie invited him to her home. Woody, you are so great, please come and be with me! Barbie said extremely thrilled.

"Oh boy! Now I know why you are called Woody!, Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

The end!​

In addition to this true work of art (sarcasm) he also appears to have written some other utterly insane stories about Avatar as well as some bizarre crossover story about Gears of War and Harry potter (though it was so long that I did not bother trying to read it beyond the first chapter).

Are these for real? Or are they just some kind of parodies?

I sure as hell hope its the later, or else my brain just might melt from all of the stupid.

 

[Rashiminos]

They're passable as parodies, but merely yawn-worthy for displays of stupidity.

Google "love and light" if you'd like to see some better attempts at it.

 

[Miles Teg]

Sorry, that's not going to get even close to dethroning Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

 

[Japanrocks12]

Wait, Toy Story fanfiction, really?

 

[hardcore_gamer]

Wait, Toy Story fanfiction, really?

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Moderator Action: I have yet to see real discussion, guys. If you want to talk about fanfiction, please go to the Arts & Entertainment forum.

This thread is closed.