Urgent help needed

[steve jukes]

I have two young children and we have just started to play civ3 conquests over our LAN and not over the internet just over a lan. But some inconsiderate fools are using obscene language that we can see in the host screen. How can I block the host screen messages from that gamespy thing when all I want to do is play over a LAN

Please please help

 

[madmapper]

Well, some internet modems allow you to turn them off with a button or somesuch. I would say that would do it!

 

[steve jukes]

id rather not switch the internet connection off because of these inconsiderate people, I have others in my household who use the internet while we play our game.

 

[juballs2001]

well, ur gonna have to learn to live with it, kids will learn the language sooner or later. just explain its not right.

 

[ainwood]

Have you tried contacting GameSpy about it?

 

[gunnerxtr]

not sure how to fix it but you could just set the game up without your kids watching the screens...

 

[Percy]

i don't want to take your place as your kids' educator, but i'm sure you'd be better explaining things to them instead of hoping they won't encounter such words. face it: on the internet, they will. they will everywhere else, as well: in the street, at school, on TV. just beeping a <word> or masking it as i did does not strip the word from its "content". everyone knows the actual word i have written. and as much as i can understand you get offended by a swear, i cannot understand the real difference between the actual word and it's disguised <word> counterpart.
all that to say: better be with them when they face that, and 'educate' them, than trying to blind them (and yourself) and leave them "unattended" when they actually see/hear things.
Moderator Action: We have an autocensor here for a reason. In some mediums, you can mask the language, and here we choose to.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[steve jukes]

@percy

I find your attitude extremley self centred and naive. Firstly, there is a big difference between hearing foul words and reading them. I understand that you can not hide people away from the nastier things in life. However when I pay for something without a parental guidance warning on it, I don't expect to find foul content.

Secondly what your are basically saying is that we should just acccept foul language because it is inevitable and they will here it anyway. What a defeatest view of life you have. True they will hear it anyway but I can protect them while I am with them and they are in my care. Thats what parenting is. I guess from your comments you have never experienced this kind of protective parenting or indeed have children.

 

[Percy]

excuse me ? and i am supposed to be the offending one here ?
i am new to these boards and do not want to start a flame war. however, me being new to these boards doesn't me being open to abuse =)

my parents raised me correctly, thanks. i do not swear, and you do not hear me swearing all the time, i even hardly swear, and do not particularly enjoy doing or hearing it.

then, i would like to know how exactly my attitude is "self-centered", and above all "naive" ? who is the naive one: the one who thinks his children will never hear a swear word and never end up seeing a porn site on the internet, or the one who knows that will happen and so tries to explain things to the children ? the one who blinds his children, who end up lost whenever the parental guidance is gone, or the one who tries to be present and explain the situation the children might encounter ?
and, at being naive, who is the more naive between the one who thinks that writing **** is less vulgar than spelling out the whole word ? (which i won't do here because i do not want to go against the rules of the board).

and do you need people to tell you about "parental guidance advised" to actually bother about what your children are entertaining themselves with ? and if so, how can you come here and question the education me or anyone else received ? my parents did not need someone else's help to do their work (or their educational mission).

to answer to the second part: no, i do not think you should "accept foul language". however, he who denies that foul language is heard everywhere is either a fool or a hypocrite. and "protecting" people doesn't mean blind their eyes and plug their ears. it means helping them handling the world. if you don't ever talk about porn to your children, when they will accidentally happen to reach a porn site, they'll be at a loss (or very happy depending on the age ^^). just because you might be ill-at-ease with these matters doesn't mean blinding their eyes is the solution.

oh, if you want to keep the discussion courteous and civil (as was my first post, may i add), please try and not attack me or my relatives personally, thanks. i wouldn't like some young teenagers to come accross here and think that is what a discussion between grown-ups is like.

EDIT: further masked the word in question, after seeing the moderator's note. i didn't think what i wrote qualified for censorship. in fact, i did that to not offend, but i guess my masking a part wasn't enough then.

 

[fishpimp]

It seems to me that this is more of a Tech Support question, and less one of social philosophy.

 

[Aegis]

@ Percy: What message does it send to his kids if he tolerates the cursing, even though it may be within his control?

Educating and explaining is one thing, but to tolerate it's existence when preaching that it is bad is hypocritical and sends mixed messages to the child.

 

[Percy]

who said anything about tolerating it ? i do not think at any point i have said anything that says that you should tolerate or encourage them. i'm just saying that pretending they exist is wrong, since they do. and my personal belief is that they are not such a big deal. knowing and using are two different things. i could probably swear at you violently in 3 different languages, yet i hardly swear at all in life.

 

[juballs2001]

man, percy ur gettying chewed apart here, learn to live with it man, ur kids are gonna be open to this language sooner or later, they make their own choices just explain the language is wrong and wont be tolerated in ur house, and hopefully it will work.HAHA Brainwash the children!

 

[Capt Buttkick]

This is so !!!

 

[Aegis]

who said anything about tolerating it ? i do not think at any point i have said anything that says that you should tolerate or encourage them.

To not censor it is tolerating it. To not censor it is to encourage the kids.

i'm just saying that pretending they exist is wrong, since they do. and my personal belief is that they are not such a big deal. knowing and using are two different things. i could probably swear at you violently in 3 different languages, yet i hardly swear at all in life.

I agree with you, however I do understand why a parent would not want porn/cursing/drugs pipelined into their kids' brains throughout the day.

 

[Renata]

It's not even the language that gets to me -- I use it myself, and I'll have to work pretty hard when I have children to change that. I doubt I'll be perfect. But some of the comments you see in situations like that are just vicious and nasty and awful, quite aside from any individual vulgar words. Filtering out the swear words does tend to also filter out the vicious/nasty stuff, which is the number one reason I'd be looking into it if I were in Steve's situation.

I'd take up ainwood's suggestion and appeal to GameSpy. Perhaps they have some remedy you can apply. Beyond that, though, I'm at a loss except to say that this forum is probably not the best place to find what you're looking for, since even the technical subforum isn't concerned with GameSpy itself very much.

Good luck,
Renata

 

[Percy]

ok, please let me get this straight again: i do NOT swear a lot, i was NOT raised by people (namely my parents and brother/sister) who sweared a lot, and i certainly do NOT intend my children to swear, nor do i intend to leave them exposed to swearing/porn/whatever.

HOWEVER, what i am saying here is not that he shouldn't contact GameSpy (he definitely should) or shouldn't try to protect his children (he should), it is that he should ALSO act and help his children through, instead of just blinding them and hoping no one will make them see the light.

oh, and censorship is NOT my way to "counter" things, i'm sorry. i think i know it is the american way, and the same in man yother countries (this is NOT an attack against the USA, so please don't write about it ), but i disagree. i do not need someone censoring swear words on the TV or the radio for me. i listen to quite a lot of songs containing such words, and i don't go saying them around all the day. i consider the same for children, even to a lesser extent. your child won't die if he hears a bad word. and you don't want him to read some stupid teenagers on gamespy swearing every two words either.

i'm sorry for the long posts, i just don't like to be made what i am not =)

 

[guyfamous]

Percy, I agree with you, and thanks for standing up for yourself.

This topic really doesn't belong here, but since it's here, I'll add my two cents.

Percy is correct that children need to be educated and the parents should be the ones doing the educating. In our connected world there is no way to get away from images and words that should be used behind closed doors. To ignore those issues and try and put off the discussion about those words and images is not education, but avoidance. I understand that your children may be young, but how young can they be if they're playing a game that includes war, violence, not keeping your word, attacking others unprovoked? I could go on, but we all play the game and know the issues.

I have found the Civ series to be one of the most educational things that I have done in my life. If I had played Civ before I went to college, I may have taken a different career path.

On the political side, America has done a terrible job of educating it's people. We are a country of hypocritical puritans. How has the porn industry become a multi-billion dollar industry with so many people against it. If I am online playing Mah Jong, I certainly don't want to see porn spam, but if I'm playing Civ with my friends, I should be able to say what I want without the "thought police" telling me what I can or can't say. That's not to say that I curse at all in my life. I did once in front of my girlfriend and her jaw dropped. She had never heard me say anything like that in the eight years she had known me.

My suggestion, along with everybody else, is to contact Gamespy and see if anything can be done. But you also need to teach your kids about things in this world that aren't exactly in the right place at the right time. Your kids will appreciate you for it in 15 years.

I'm done preaching.

 

[planetfall]

On the political side, America has done a terrible job of educating it's people. We are a country of hypocritical puritans. How has the porn industry become a multi-billion dollar industry with so many people against it.

I'm done preaching.

Yep, you sound like an 18th century puritan.

America has done a horrible job of pop educating it's people to believe anything and especially strawmen such as hypocritical puritans. Education is one thing and morality and morals are something entirely different. There is an air and water difference between public display and private display. What is horrible is that without a moral edge most think it is ok to subject children to public displays of cruelty and human disrespect. The difference here is between teaching children it is ok to use a closed bathroom but not ok to squat in front of the merry-go-round like a wild animal. This separation between private and public has nothing to do with a hypocrite. A true hypocrit is one who pretends to be connected to God and interested in his revelation but who in reality has stopped listening to God and converted him into at most an old watchmaker fogey boogeyman.

Back to topic, if gamespy can't help; maybe it is time to play a different game together, or to play the game together as a succession game. Remember there is always Sims..., sports games, and other games that would provide valuable learning experiences. Civ in all its variations is basically amoral and it doesn't sound like those are your key values.

PF

 

[Percy]

he sounded like a 18th century Puritan ? at least he didn't quote God =/
anyway, i'm done with this thread, i'm talking about education and psychology, and some of you are talking about God, there's obviously a discrepancy here, so since we're not talking about the same things, we might as well stop.