Ankaa - The no tech trading was an original option. None of us complained so he kept it that way.
Gilamesh - Need writing in Civ-4 before you can cross borders. Since we're humans, its up to us to by pass that rule or not. Depends how trusting your are having military passing by your undefended capital or not.
Speaking of which - I've found that people are quiet until they meet within the game. Then emails, posts and private messages can be ued for the 2 Civs to talk (by the way, did you get my messages?).