WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM (All Out of Bubblegum)

[dragonprobably]

Hello and welcome to my attempt to mix All Out of Bubblegum, Early FPS's, Dungeon Keeper, and IOT.

ALL OUT OF BUBBLEGUM

All Out of Bubblegum is what is called a "beer and pretzels" RPG. For those unaware of what that is, it's an RPG that typically has 1 page and is so simple you can play while blind drunk. The RPG revolves around kicking [expletive deleted] in the most over the top ways possible.

You can look at the PDF here.

PREMISE

Baron von Skullface, Conqueror of Dimensions and Harvester of Souls, is expecting invasions of some of his more minor facilities and he can't be bothered with sending his own elite forces to protect them from Big Shooty Heroes. So he has hired you, an interdimensional contractor, with protecting them.

What you do is reserve a space at whatever facility he wants you guarding today and use obstacles to stop the Big Shooty Hero, whether that be goons or traps is up to you. Succeeding at your task will result with the Baron acknowledging your existence for once in your pitiful lives.

MECHANICS

At the start of an update, I will give you a map and you choose a room on the map that you put your obstacles in (the amount of rooms you can claim depends on the amount of players). From there you describe what sort of obstacle you're putting up. I will roll a d10 and, if you succeed, how many you got over your Bubblegum stat will determine the penalty the Big Shooty Hero gets when interacting with your obstacle. If you fail, you lose Bubblegum and the Big Shooty Hero will bypass your obstacle with no trouble. You will not know the result until the end of the phase.

You could spend a Bubblegum to create an obstacle the Big Shooty Hero will automatically lose a Bubblegum. When your Bubblegum goes to 0 your obstacles will act differently. I'll roll a dice for when the Big Shooty Hero comes through and if they roll 10, your contract with Baron von Skullface is terminated. Otherwise, they lose Bubblegum.

The Big Shooty Hero also has Bubblegum and they lose it every time they fail an obstacle. The penalty generated by your obstacle will be subtracted from the Big Shooty Hero's roll and will be added when they have 0 bubblegum.

SIGNING UP

Give me the name of your contracting company, whoever is in charge of it, and whatever other flavor you feel in necessary.

 

[dragonprobably]

CURRENTLY HIRED CONTRACTORS:

• Sect of Olkeyr Bubblegum: 6
  
• Oompa Loompa Trapping & Mapping Bubblegum: 6
• Nothing But Piranha Pits Incorporated Bubblegum: 7
• The Justice Friends Bubblegum: 7

 

[Ailedhoo]

Sect of Olkeyr ​

Organisation Type: Cult allied to the Baron
Leader: Reverent Father Jamys yn Roig
Second-in-Command: Sister General Sessott Yrjid
Being of Worship: Balor, Warrior King among Fomorians, Lord of Tory Island and Terror of Éire

 

[NinjaCow64]

Oompa Loompa Trapping & Mapping

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you do when the boss sells everything to a twelve-year old?
Who doesn't know how to clean so everything gets covered in mold?
What happens when he runs out of money?
Out of a job and filing for bankruptcy!
I don't like the sound of that.

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you start your own business, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do!

 

[LordArgon]

Nothing But Piranha Pits Incorporated
All we have are the finest top quality Piranha Pits. We are willing to install them anywhere and at any time, starting at the low low price of $2000. These top quality Piranhas will devour any pesky Intruders or pathetic underlings. Call now and get and get a trapdoor as an added bonus.

 

[Crezth]

It's....

​

Three of Earth's mightiest heroes...

Joining forces under one roof...

To face the challenge of Everyday Life!

Starring!

MAJOR GLORY!

VAAAAAAAL-HALLAN!

And,

The Infraggable Krunk!

IN

THE JUSTICE FRIENDS!

TV Super-Pals!​

 

[dragonprobably]

I'm going to lock signups either tomorrow or the day after.

 

[dragonprobably]

Tomorrow, Noon PST, I'm softlocking signups.

 

[dragonprobably]

Signups softlocked. No clue when I'll write the first update but it will most likely be in the morning.

 

[dragonprobably]

Hhhhhhhhhhhh I woke up 2 hours before I had to go to work. Tomorrow I update.

 

[dragonprobably]

CONTRACT 1: BOX BOX WAREHOUSE​

Spoiler Map :

(Grey lines notates empty space big enough to be its own room. Keycards fit to a matching door of the same color.)

YOUR MISSION: For your first job, you will be protecting a warehouse in Reality Franco Jetta Victor Niner, Quadrant 5. It's a warehouse where I store all the boxes that store all the boxes that I store my weapons in. This warehouse can't fall into enemies hands because then we won't have huge boxes to store our boxes that we put our smegton of boxes into.

BIG SHOOTY HERO OF THE DAY: BEEF TESTOSTERONE

HIS FATHER WAS KILLED BY A VICIOUS BOX GONE ROGUE AND NOW HE WANT REVENGE WITH A PAYBACK!!! THIS 350 POUND SLAB OF MEAT, BONE, AND POPPED BLOOD VESSELS IS TRAINED IN TWO MARTIAL ARTS: PURE UNBRIDLED RAGE AND SHOTGUNS!!! AN UNSTOPPABLE HULKING FORCE THAT WON'T STOP UNTIL EVERYTHING IN THE ROOM RESEMBLES STRAWBERRY JELLY HE IS HEADED HERE TO KILL EVERY BOX IN EVERY KNOWN UNIVERSE!!!

 

[dragonprobably]

Current Bubblegum stats are going to be kept on Post #2 starting now.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Our Sect will make use of a bubblegum to curse the red key: those that carry it will be faced by a red skeleton.

 

[dragonprobably]

I FORGOT TO SAY: YOU CAN ONLY TAKE 2 ROOMS THIS ROUND

caps

 

[Ailedhoo]

Then I am taking the room with the red key and the big corridor with the red door.

Spooky scary skeleton fun for our guest.

 

[LordArgon]

We at the great Nothing But Piranha Pits Incorporated have decided to place our newest top of the line piranha pit in the room with the blue key. It is a circular pit as so our intruder will not notice it during his bezerk boxkilling rage. It contains the finest genetically engineered piranha with the the sharpest teeth available. Furthermore we have put it right before a especially box-like box to lure the intruder into the pit. On the top left corner of the warehouse we will put our prototype hanging piranha pit. Suspended in the air by a delicate arrangement of boxes, it will fall upon the box smashing berserker trapping him in the piranha pit and he will be torn to shreds.

 

[NinjaCow64]

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

How do you powergame in a game like this?
Expose the big shooty hero to maximum risk?
You camp all the traps right at the end!
And the hero will come to an untimely end...
How very delightful!

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you exploit game rules, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do!

Put explosive toffee box bombs in the room with the Green Key and the End. The big shooty hero will shoot the toffee boxes, get riddle with holes by toffee shrapnel and bleed to death.

 

[Crezth]

Major Glory and his team will place a bevy of Justice Fruit Pies! in the larger, top-center room.

The enemy will be distracted by the promise of the great rich sweet fruity taste of Justice Fruit Pies, and will go to get the fruit pies... only for the Justice Friends to ambush them!

It's the perfect plan... oh, and the Infraggible Krunk will guard the hallway outside the End.

 

[dragonprobably]

Ok, I'll make an update in the morning.

 

[dragonprobably]

RESULT OF CONTRACT 1:​

BEEF TESTOSTERONE burst in through the entrance with minimal effort. He went left straight into the room with the red key. After picking it up, red skeletons started rising from their graves and beat the tar out of him (Sect of Olkeyr has spent one bubblegum, -1 bubblegum for the Big Shooty Hero). BEEF TESTOTERONE barely made it out alive and had to rip one of his own arms off as a distraction for the blood thirsty skeletons. This in no way incapacitated BEEF TESTOSTERONE since he still has big meaty hooks with which to punch boxes with. He then went down the corridor, destroying every box along the way, and was ambushed by more skeletons. They were able to rip off all his flesh and barely escaped with his life if he had not dashed into the room with the blue key (Sect of Olkeyr has spent one bubblegum, -1 bubblegum for the Big Shooty Hero). Inside the room with the blue key was a circular pit filled with piranhas where the blue key was hanging above. Unfortunately, there was a miscommunication with the workers and it was only filled with piranhas and no water with which they could breathe. BEEF TESTOSTERONE stepped over the dead piranhas and grabbed the key with ease before punching a box in front of the pit. (Nothing But Piranha Pits Incorporated failed their roll, -1 bubblegum). BEEF TESTOSTERONE walked out of the room and was distracted by a giant pillar of boxes. Mr. TESTOSTERONE punched the boxes so hard a secret pit of piranhas fell onto him and (2 vs 6(+0), -1 bubblegum for the Big Shooty Hero) the piranhas got a good taste of that BEEF TESTOSTERONE meat. BEEF TESTOSTERONE passed by a plate of fruit pies which he ignored because he only eats MEAT, MEAT, VEGAN HOT DOGS, AND MEAT (The Justice Friends failed their roll, -1 bubblegum) so the Justice Friends were unable to continue with their ambush. BEEF TESTOSTERONE then entered the room with the green card and, upon seeing a box of toffee, filled the room with lead. The toffee box exploded toffee shrapnel everywhere that BEEF TESTOSTERONE punched before it could hit him (Oompa Loompa Trapping & Mapping failed their roll, -1 bubblegum). BEEF TESTOSTERONE then headed towards the end where he was ambushed by a large purple man who (3 vs 5(+2), -1 bubblegum for the Big Shooty Hero) pounded him into the ground with a comedic BONK sound. BEEF got out of the whole he was put into and ran past Krunk into the end room where a giant box of toffee was blocking the way. After a rapid fire volley of punches (10 vs 4(+1), -1 bubblegum for Oompa Loompa Trapping & Mapping) left him completely unscathed.

Result: Loss

Sect of Olkeyr: 6
Oompa Loompa Trapping & Mapping: 6
Nothing But Piranha Pits Incorporated: 7
The Justice Friends: 7
BEEF TESTOSTERONE: 4

Boxes destroyed: 42,069
Skeletons raised: A bunch
Piranhas fed: 24
Fruit pies eaten: 0
Oompa Loompa songs performed: 0