We are, of course both Westerners. And, as such, we do place different values on different things than some of our Middle Eastern cousins. But while Iranian values are not identical to ours, they're not stupid. And a war with US makes no more sense for Iran in 'the long view' than it does in the short one.
In the long view, America has no special interest in the Middle East. I know we like to play up our little love affair with Israel, but the hard truth is that the paramount American interest in the Middle East is oil, and the stability of the oil market. In the long term, that ends, and America is gone, leaving a void of power waiting to be filled, by, say, a nuclear Iran. The loss of petrodollars will hurt the Iranian economy badly, of course, but it will fair better than some of its neighbors, and assuming it doesnt get wrecked in the short term, it will have an opportunity to reassert itself.
Now, in the middle view, the US interest in the Middle East is going to increase dramatically, as oil grows scarce but is still vital for the world economy. But even in this instance, Iran sacrificing itself to weaken the US makes no sense, because even if the US is successfully removed from the picture, China and India will quickly fill the void. True, neither of those are as strong as the US, but that wont do Iran any good if its suffered the Iraq treatment.
Iran has an opportunity in the coming years to regain much of its previous status...to restore Persia to what they see as its rightful place as a regional superpower. To do that, it needs nukes, and it WILL go to any lengths in order to get them. But it also needs to avoid a true war with US. Which is amazingly convenient for us, since we desperately need to avoid a war with them. And the rational people on both sides know this. Now its true, there are those on both sides who are NOT rational, and who want war for a variety of reasons. But for now, Im betting on the sane
over there and over here.