Jolly provided the key that brought my various thoughts together. I give you, in my best imitation of Baconian style . . .
On Hipsters
No man is a hipster—in his own estimation. The epithet is a term of disapprobation only, not self-definition. The word “hipster” cannot be defined; but the system that produces the epithet can be described. "Hipster" is one element in a larger system of mutual disparagement. The primary elements of the system of hipsterism are nonconformity and smug, scoffing judgment. The person labeled by others a hipster regards himself as a nonconformist, an independent thinker; he is not “mainstream” and assumes an air of smug superiority toward the mainstream. The archetypal hipster wore flannel precisely because it was not in fashion, rode a bicycle as an implicit criticism of American overconsumption of fossil fuels, and demonstrated his superior sensibilities by being willing to overpay for coffee.
Hipsterism emerged and has developed in a symbiotic but complex relationship with the Starbucks coffee chain. In the early years of Starbucks’ operation, the start-up coffeeshop franchise was seen, by comparison with established fast-food chains, as being out of the mainstream. Taking a coffee there served as a sign of one’s nonconformity. The chain encouraged this association, and has tried desperately to continue to project a vibe of nonconformity even as it has itself grown into a massively popular (hence mainstream) global chain. The key to its association with nonconformity is precisely the overpricing of their coffee. It represents a specialized form consumerism, akin to what has been called “conspicuous consumption”; the high price serves as a guarantor that this is not ordinary--that is to say, not mainstream--coffee. It is not that the coffee is in fact superior to mainstream coffee and therefore carries a higher price; rather, its carrying a higher price is the evidence that it is superior to ordinary coffee. One pays the extra money precisely for the higher price—and the satisfaction of being out of the mainstream that derives therefrom.
The nonconformism centered around Starbucks generated hipsterism. The pretentiousness of the nonconformist crowd elicited a backlash that took the form of their being disparaged as hipsters. At the same time, and with the growth of the Starbucks chain, this particular form of nonconformity became a type, and hence its own kind of mainstream. The true nonconformist would now have to (scoffingly) differentiate himself not only from philistine American culture at large, but also from the inauthentic nonconformism of the “Starbucks hipster,” which he does by wearing something even more out of fashion than flannel, and by taking his coffee at an non-franchised coffee shop. That person may in turn be mocked by someone yet more authentically indy, in infinite regress.
One is, oneself, of course always just an independent thinker, a nonconformist. The person who mocks you is a pretentious hipster; the person you deservedly mock for thinking he is nonconformist when he is in fact mainstream is a “Starbucks hipster.”